Virginity (Day 11 on the Camino)

Nazaré was my first major destination. There I had completed about 1/3 of the distance. The place is famous for having the biggest waves in the world, up to 30 metres. Unfortunately, I only had 1 m high waves, but a good surfing hour.

I had planned to go out in the evening and toast to having made it through the first part, alone if necessary. But that wasn't necessary, as I was joined by two other backpackers.

After a delicious dinner, we went in search of a lively bar, party or something similar. We didn't find much, so we joined a group of other tourists. In this group was also a somewhat older gentleman, about twice my age. He immediately started babbling at me. He complimented me on my hair, face and so on. I quickly became uncomfortable and others tried to distract him with other topics, which didn't quite work. At some point he found out that I was also on the Camino. He was also a pilgrim and immediately started talking about God and so on. I told him that I was an atheist and had my own reasons for walking. This shocked him, "don't you know the meaning of the way, you have to walk it with God. I explained to him that I know the meaning, but I can still walk it my way and he can walk it his way. He was not a fan of that. He started telling me how untouched and young I still looked and that I certainly didn't have much experience, and so on.

People like that just make me angry. They look at you for a second and think they know who you are and what you've been through. And these allusions to innocence and purity. People who impose the image of St. Mary on women. Because that's the only kind that's acceptable. I'm sorry to say this, but you can get pregnant from not having sex and that's not the only reason to have it. The image he also hopes for in a woman is unrealistic and outdated. No woman could ever fulfil it so it just puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on many woman.

Luckily, I was not alone that evening. The other young travellers jumped in at every opportunity to make it clear to him that his views are total nonsense. I am so grateful for people like that. And who knows, maybe together we can make the last ones understand that it is not their right to tell us how our sex life should be, what we believe in, simplified to tell us how we should live our lives and how we should feel about it.

Later that evening, in another bar, a woman approached me. She told me that I had caught her eye and she would just like to tell me that she thought I had a wonderful aura. I was very happy about the compliment and thanked her and she moved on. That was a perfect example of how such things can and should go.

Let’s support each other.