Woche 7: Warten auf Godot

Our second week in Colombia is rolling along slowly. We bravely fight against bureaucracy by developing our patience muscles. The school enrollment process is stuck, and the kids are stuck at home. We obtained a residency certificate, which will allow us to open a bank account with which we can rent a house. Meanwhile, we found a house and are starting to gather forms for the insurance company of the property management. Proof of property ownership, a letter from the employer, bank statements, social media, is anyone volunteering to write us a recommendation letter? It took us a week to find a lab to check our blood type with a finger prick, not a blood test, but we ended up at the wrong branch so in the end we made up blood types for the kids (why on earth does that interest them?).

We still don’t know where it’s safe to wander, so currently, our main leisure spots are malls and supermarkets - we’ve already been to 5-6 of those, including twice at bowling. On Saturday, we gathered the courage to say goodbye to the mall and went out for a walk in the city. I went to a Tai Chi class in a public park in downtown Medellín, while Yoala took the kids to the botanical gardens. After that, we embarked on a journey towards a viewpoint of the city - a half-hour drive to the mall's parking lot, then a 20-minute walk on main roads, among homeless people and the smells of human feces to the metro, a half-hour ride on the metro to the north of the city - the poor and broken area of the city, where you don't dare step out of the metro station but go straight up to the gondola that ascends from the bottom of the valley to the top of the mountain above the dump. All the way, about 10 meters from the rooftops of the houses in the crowded favelas. Mati asked: what's scarier? The gondola falling down or just being down there? We reached the top and from there we had to take another gondola to the viewpoint. Only this one is a tourist gondola. Round trip 270 thousand pesos (250 shekels), and we only have 240 thousand... The chat was able to give all the explanations on how to get there, but didn’t bother to say they don’t accept credit cards... We return with our tails between our legs - gondola, metro, walking back to the mall. Well, spending time at the mall is also fine.

On Tuesday, Yoala is flying to meetings in Costa Rica. Since then, the motivation to go out has decreased. It’s much more comfortable for all of us at home, except for Ophri who is like a lion in a cage (thank goodness the weekend came and he is allowed to watch TV). Everyone has a role - Ophri and I are cooking, Michael and I do the dishes, Mati and I do laundry. There is no dryer, and it’s cold and wet outside, so drying is in the old-fashioned Jerusalem winter style. We hang it on the line, when the next batch is ready, we move it from the line to the tables outside under the pergola, the next stop inside the house on the chairs and on the stair railing, from there to the radiators, and finally folding on the couch. All day, between cooking, Spanish lessons, watching basketball games or playing board games, we are moving laundry from place to place. I decided I would beat her, already 5 laundry loads behind (including 3 rounds of pee sheets). Meanwhile, the basket still hasn’t emptied...

Role Reversals

In Israel, I have never done laundry, but we are undergoing a multidimensional role reversal. It started with the big stones: about 12 years ago we enrolled Mati into a kindergarten in Kfar Saba and moved our life center to Ramat Hasharon because of my work. Since then, our lives have revolved around my job - education, living, friends, every life path is derived from the place of work I chose. The importance I attributed to the school and the lifestyle I chose, the satisfaction and meaning I got from them, seeped into our daily life as a couple and as a family.

After 12 years during which Yoala was responsible for all enrollment into kindergarten/school because I was busy during those hours, disappearing a few times a year for a week of annual trips/team training/summer training and Yoala alone with the kids, where the entire family schedule is managed around collegium/council meetings/assemblies/finance committee/team meetings, the reversal came. We arrived in Colombia because of Yoala's work; I am responsible for the daily routine, for Ophri’s enrollment into kindergarten, and I navigate around Yoala's meetings and flights.

After years where Yoala's basketball was her weekly anchor, and her mood was derived from how many times a week she does sports, while I, on the other hand, do not attribute any importance to sports and advocate neglect, the reversal came. Yoala has no time for sports, and my mood is derived from the running/push-ups/Tai Chi that I managed to do this week.

After years where Yoala was responsible for our leisure, planning trips and dragging me begrudgingly to parties, the reversal came: I am responsible for leisure, dragging her to Midburn, to parties, to audiophile events, looking for hours where we can dance in Costa Rica and getting frustrated when she cancels it.

After years where Yoala was responsible for communication with the world and I was disconnected due to hard ideological arguments that WhatsApp is not communication, I respond in all the groups, ensure the weekly video call with the Gratz family, write a blog, and even talk to Grandma Ilana twice a week. And Yoala is disconnected, she has no bandwidth.

The reversal was completed in the last two weeks when I noticed Yoala's lack of attention. Preoccupied with her thoughts, jumping from task to task, occasionally blurting out half-sentences about something she forgot to do or update and moving on. I even found her despairing while searching for things that are right in front of her eyes. I am sharper than I have ever been. Finally understanding how unbearable I had been all these years and also realizing how tiring it is to keep so full all the time. No matter how many dishes and laundry I do, my head is really clear and it’s really pleasant, although it’s starting to get a bit boring...

It’s been a while since I had a checklist:

Sugar - I ate one gummy bear, and occasionally steal an ice cream from the kids

Running - only once since we arrived in Colombia, the cold is annoying and there’s no place to run. But there’s hope - the next house is by a lake with a perfect running path

Smoking - not at all in the direction

See you next week