It's Wedding Time

Nguyễn Trãi (Vietnamese Confucian scholar - 1380-1442) said: “At a Vietnamese wedding, the noise of the celebration is only the sound of happiness that fills the couple's souls.”

31.07.:

In recent vacations, it has become common for us to write the blog on a day-to-day basis for optimization and better tracking! This means that even a day like today, where basically little to nothing happens, gets mentioned in the blog. However... that's not entirely true. There’s always something to recount.

We fill the morning with sports, pool, and the dreaded packing of bags and backpacks, as on Friday (spoiler alert) we will go on a big sightseeing tour with the wedding party, and on Saturday we will be moving hotels followed by the official wedding. So in short: no time left for annoying packing!

In the afternoon, we head (once again by scooter) to Tam Coc for manicures and pedicures for all, including the fox!

While Lena and Ida are allowed to enjoy their relaxing nail painting, I get the hardcore program. To the question “Foot scrub?” I should have refrained from nodding, because suddenly my toes are faced with a sander that approaches my delicate Hobbit feet with a relaxed 10,000 RPM and sandpaper strength of 20!

And then it starts off as if there’s no tomorrow, or more aptly, no feet soon! After plenty of abrasion and at least as much laughter from the staff (at least that's how it feels), I must admit that my Hobbit feet have actually turned more into elf-like feet, so smooth that my Birkenstock sandals struggle to hold onto me!

Ironically, shortly after finishing our “cosmetic” treatment in the salon and in some surrounding houses, the power goes out!

Was it due to the overloaded power grid and overheated sander? This may never be conclusively clarified...

Thus we head to Ninh Binh in the late afternoon to meet with the groom's family (Patrick, David, mother Petra, and David's girlfriend Charleen) and Petra's interpreter for the duration of the celebrations, Gam!

Considering that we last saw Patrick about 4-5 years ago, Petra at our wedding in 2013, David in 2010 at the Ice Hockey World Cup in Cologne, and that we are meeting Charleen for the first time today, it feels like a regular weekly meeting. After sweaty hugs come plenty of laughter, anecdotes, and the usual “what have you been up to the last few years?”.

A really nice and relaxed evening that we should cut short due to darkness and unchanged poor scooter lighting does take us to the “Ninh Binh Legend Hotel,” where the celebrations will take place and where we are asked by the groom to try on our theoretically adjusted wedding outfits.

If they don't fit, a tailor will have to work on them again!

Once on-site, we slip into the traditional attire and realize that the tailor probably did not have his best day when making our dresses.

While my outfit fits reasonably well apart from significantly too short sleeves, Lena has ended up with pants that would more fit a size 32, and Ida has a two-piece that she could probably fit into twice. Memories of dwarf Gimli in chainmail (“it's a bit tight around the chest”) come to mind, as both the legs and the top have turned out about 40 cm too long!

No safety pin will help anymore to pin it up. The only solution is to drive the clothes back to Patrick to have them taken in, just like the coat of St. Martin was split in two!

In the process, we also meet Manuel, who has just arrived from Abu Dhabi, and whom Lena hasn’t seen in nearly twenty years, so their trio (Patrick, Lena, Manuel) is reunited for the first time in two decades!

After what turns out to be quite a long evening, we head back to the hotel and quickly to bed, since tomorrow is the aforementioned excursion day, and we want to meet at 8:45 AM for the scooter departure at the Legend Hotel.

01.08.:

Two more toasts and jam! Then it’s not Christmas, but the joy is surely similar, as no member of the travel group descends the stairs to the dining room with any enthusiasm.

Even the Ca Phé only sparks blitz wars in the digestive tract, than waking us up and energizing us.

Doesn’t matter and can’t be changed. We have to go. Honking and noticeably less braking, we head our scooters toward the meeting point, as we are a bit late!

Our mistake, as we forgot the obligatory “Five Minutes.” So instead of leaving at 9 AM, we head out at 9:30 AM, and not even to the planned boat tour in Trang An, but to the nearest gas station. And that urgently and directly because all scooters are practically being driven solely on air and love. Gasoline is barely perceptible in parts per million!

Once all vehicles are somewhat well-filled, we finally head the roughly 20 minutes out to the “Trang An UNESCO Ecocomplex” for a two-hour boat tour through the limestone mountains!

Radiant children's laughter fills all the scooters, as suddenly all the adults become children again on the procession to the first destination.

It dies immediately as we head to the scooter parking lot, which (Polemics on) can only be constructed by a green one (Polemics off), as it consists of huge, honeycomb-like concrete slabs, making driving a rodeo, and parking a game with the nonexistent insurance. Do you hit concrete or one of the countless holes to recreate a domino day with your and the other 17,428 scooters?!

But it turns out alright, costing only sweat and maneuvering skills everywhere.

Upon arrival at the boats, you briefly feel reminded of D-Day or optionally the Kiel Week due to the sheer number of people. A sea of wooden boats, which should always be filled with four or at max five people, flits about the entry steps. We share one of the boats with David and Charleen and enjoy the life jackets we must wear at a pleasantly cool 36 degrees.

So off we go through the fascinating and ever-more-spectacular landscape at each bend.

Having sunk deep into the water and lagging behind every one of the many boats, we start alternately to assist the poor boatman with rowing. It’s hard to believe that one must pass a test for this job and first prove oneself for a while before being allowed to ferry any white-noses across the river!

Thus, we are chasing over the water like the Cambridge eight, past small pagodas and through similarly shallow caves, where our low depth makes itself felt, and after just under 2 ½ hours, we return to the dock. Significantly earlier than all the others… it seems we've helped a bit too much. For a moment, we think the boatman wants to tip us, but he is just asking for the life jackets!

Completely overwhelmed from the unplanned paddle training (which applies to us, while the others are likely exhausted from doing nothing), the wedding clan rolls in for lunch. Mai promised us THE place in the Ninh Binh region, known for its regional cuisine. We suspect the worst and quickly whip Ida a calorie-rich croissant in wise foresight.

Regional cuisine sounds harmless at first, but on the way to the table on the restaurant's own terrace, we pass through the kitchen, which is neatly separated into vegetables (left) and goat slaughtering (right). But the sight of whole goats, half goats, quarter goats, etc. honestly diminishes our anticipation for lunch a bit.

There's no use, hunger will take care of it!

Since the menu is solely in Vietnamese, we enlist Google Lens for help to identify the many specialties on the table. But with “Goat hears again”, “Goat steams beer”, “Goat wrapped in fish fat”, “Goat composting grasshoppers”, and the highlight “sperm stew”, we become a bit skeptical.

Especially the sperm stew lives up to its name and looks very much like its name both visually and in consistency!

So it remains with a bit of goat meat in various forms, which unfortunately doesn't agree with the three of us, which is probably more due to us and some degree of saturation with Asian food than with the goat meat itself. Or somewhat in between...

We continue to the Núi Ngoạ Long (Lying Dragon Mountain), one of the limestone mountains, where 500 steps spiral up the hill. At the top awaits a statue resembling Mother Mary and a lying dragon, inviting us for beautiful photos and climbing adventures!

If you even make it up, because with another 37 degrees and blazing sunshine, you are already sweating at step 100, playing Paul Panzer's “Katzen zum Dünsten.” At step 200, your feet are swimming in the Birkenstock sandals, and we wonder: how dumb can one be to hike up here in Birkenstocks?!

At step 300, we envision Rocky Balboa, yelling “Adrian,” provocatively area-twirling up the steps as if we were in Philadelphia!

By step 400, we get the idea to call Birkenstock to promote our swim shoes for mountain climbing and deep-sea diving in sandals. It could financially benefit both parties.

After the final step of the 500, the statue of Buddha at the top does indeed appear like Mother Mary welcoming us, wet, panting, and glowing into her kingdom!

As the whole group is torturing itself up the mountain (we're talking about 121m above NN here!!!), we wait for the last participant for a group photo before the Lying Dragon. Admittedly, both the view and the dragon statue are quite impressive, and the effort is definitely worth it.

Later in the evening, we ask Mai how often she had to climb the steps as a child. Initially, she looked at us somewhat incomprehensibly, then burst out laughing. Never! Only tourists would do such a crazy thing. She had only been up there once last year with Milo and had no desire to repeat that experience.

Smart as the Vietnamese are, a small kiosk was installed halfway, selling everything that's available 250 steps below at double the price!

Donald Trump would probably be proud of such sales genius...

Back at the bottom, we wait for our bodies to stop sweating, which somehow doesn’t occur. The soup flows incessantly, and all clothing is soaked through, so the day's trip is halted at 5 PM due to a lack of change of clothes and time.

Because at 6 PM the “informal” dinner at Mai's parents' house is on!

For this, and for the tea ceremony the next day, the street in front of the house has been blocked off for about 50 meters and a huge tent set up!

But first, we enjoy a shower and then slip into dry clothes, which almost seem too neat for an informal dinner, and ride our scooters back to the city center. Once there, we are somewhat shocked to realize that this dinner is everything but informal in our eyes. It seems as if the wedding is already taking place this evening, everything is decorated, an incredible amount of food is served, a moderator both talks and sings throughout the evening, and there are about 100 people in the tent.

Already while parking, we are greeted by Mai's family members and pulled into the tent where we should take our seats, immediately being asked to eat!

Everyone we greet is incredibly friendly and warm, and finally, we get to meet Mai herself. She didn’t join us on the scooter tour, as she was deeply involved in planning and preparations.

Given what we are being presented here already on the eve of the wedding, it’s no surprise!

After we strengthen ourselves and are already slightly tipsy (having already been there 20 minutes), as particularly Mai's uncle seemingly wants to enjoy Vietnamese apple schnapps with each guest individually, the notably louder part of the evening begins, and the moderator vacates the microphone for karaoke!

Here, apparently just as popular as in Japan, family members or neighbors of Mai step forward one by one and belt out Vietnamese classics (we believe) throughout the tent.

We Europeans are also targeted, and here too, Mai's uncle takes the lead, repeatedly calling us loudly to the stage. After stubborn negotiations, the first one gives in and whimsically performs