Published: 03.03.2020
Hanoi: 7 Days in Bielefeld
Why isn't Hanoi like Bielefeld? Then the city would only be fake and wouldn't exist at all. And besides, we could have avoided staying in this loud, chaotic, uninteresting, and simply strange city. But let's start from the beginning.
After almost two weeks in Thailand, we flew to Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam. The flight was a relaxed 1.5 hours and we took a taxi from the airport to our hostel in the Old Quarter, about a 40-minute drive. First, we went to exchange/withdraw money. Another crazy exchange rate. After getting used to the baht conversion rate in Thailand, the rate in Vietnam is much higher. Here, you get about 25,000 Vietnamese dong for 1 €. It takes some getting used to when you have 2.5 million dong in your wallet instead of 3000 baht. Although for me it was a bit different and I accidentally withdrew only 11 €. Maybe I calculated a bit too tight.😄
So, it was an adventure in Hanoi with very little money.
A hundred meters before the airport's taxi stand, a friendly Vietnamese guy asked us if we needed a driver. His offer for the 40-minute drive was 1,500 dong, which is 6 cents. It was clear that it wasn't true, but we still got in, what could happen?
The driver was strange, but seemed well-off. When we arrived at the hostel, strangely enough, the car door didn't open. Suddenly, the driver turned around with a sly smile and said that he actually meant 1,500,000 dong and that we should pay that now, i.e. 60€. Astronomical price. Should we really pay for our stupidity, being caught like rookies at the airport and then being ripped off? After half an hour of negotiations, including a phone call with his supposed boss, the price was reduced to 30€. Still three times the normal price, but nothing could be done. In the end, I wasn't annoyed by the extra costs, but by our naivety. Not an optimal start in Vietnam.
As mentioned before, if Hanoi were Bielefeld in a fair world, we would be in a dead end, as this year's Bachelor would say. We didn't like it in Hanoi at all. Especially the hustle and bustle, the crazy traffic, the lack of real sights, the fact that you needed a jacket in the evening because of the temperature, and that you couldn't even see the sky due to fog and smog were reasons for that. Besides, after the great time in Pai, we were in a generally low mood and I had stomach pain almost the entire time in Hanoi. Lastly, in Vietnam they have an emperor and not our king anymore, which I personally didn't like.
For example, Dennis and I had to get our lion's manes trimmed there, so a visit to the hairdresser was due.
It was interesting that the hairdresser didn't understand a word of English (not even the word 'short'). But he did a good job anyway.
It was absurd, though, that they were playing the CD of the candidates from the first season of "Deutschland sucht den Superstar" (German talent show), including Daniel Kübelböck's unmistakable voice. Even I thought that was too much. But in general, everywhere in Vietnam and Thailand they play exactly my feel-good pop music, which is why I regularly get kicked out of the SVH's loudspeaker after a game. At least he didn't mess up the haircut despite all the circumstances and we could still show ourselves.
Breaks from Bielefeld
The trips from Hanoi were cool compared to the city. For example, we booked a tour on a ship in Halong Bay, including an overnight stay on the water. We took a 3-hour bus ride to the bay. On such trips with tourists, the buses always stop at shops where you can buy drinks, have breakfast, or buy crazy things like sculptures. If you're in Thailand and Vietnam, you have to be aware that all the shops, drivers, and organizations we come across as tourists are part of a cycle. The travel company works with shops, the taxi driver will always take you to the same tailor or massage salon, the scooter rental will always recommend the same restaurant, and vice versa. Everyone is trying to get their piece of the pie, and the best way to do that is together. It's also okay, but sometimes the structures are absurd.
Small fun fact: If Dennis and I had bought a several hundred kilogram marble sculpture, the shipping to Hamburg would have cost 1 million dong. Just a reminder: our taxi driver wanted 1.5 million dong for the 40-minute drive from the airport to the hostel. Absurd😄
The time in Halong Bay was great. We were on our ship with a young couple (Austrian and Australian), an older Canadian couple who drank more than Dennis and me, and a French family. So, 12 passengers in total. It was a fun group and very nice people. There were only three surprises on the boat:
Firstly, that it was quite a luxurious boat, which we didn't expect. This was the lounge area.
Secondly, no one got seasick, and thirdly, we were served a princely menu for lunch and dinner. The quality was so-so, but the quantity was insane. I had indicated that I was a vegetarian and therefore expected to get different dishes from the normal menu. But I ended up with six different portions in front of me. The waiter came every 5 minutes with a new plate without us asking. It ranged from spaghetti, vegetables, rice with tofu, salad, to soup. Since that day, I can't stand egg tofu anymore.
The excursions within the bay were classic tourist attractions and mass tourism. On a pearl farming farm, there were seemingly more tourists than locals. However, kayaking was big fun because we could do our own thing, even though one boat was clearly superior to the other. I'm not going to say which one, but the kids were in the other boat.
All in all, Halong Bay was beautiful, and we were lucky to have caught the first sunny day in two weeks.
Our second trip was to Ninh Binh, a city surrounded by rice fields, rivers, streams, hills, and mountains. Picturesque Vietnam.
The program consisted of a temple visit, a bike tour in nature, a boat trip, and a visit to the classic Instagram photo spot.
We didn't have much contact with the other people in our travel group this time. But it seemed like there were many Americans, two Spaniards, two Norwegian women, and an Indian couple in their mid-thirties.
In the temple, we walked around a bit, unsuccessfully looked for a toilet, and didn't understand the historical information provided by the guide. Just a normal day trip. Except that at some point the Indians were missing, apparently doing their own thing and wanting to photograph the entire temple complex. When they finally made their way back to the bus, the mood was slightly annoyed.
I had a great time during the bike tour. Getting out of the stuffy city, getting some exercise, and beautiful green fields and meadows as the surroundings: just perfect!
And then we had a delicious meal at a café with a pool. But where were the Indians? We had been following the guide on our bikes in a column the whole time, and those two idiots just disappeared and got lost.😂
So, our guide had to go and look for them again, which was clearly testing his Asian friendliness. I couldn't help but make a joke that he should just leave the Indians behind, and that we would probably find new ones during the day. He found it funny, but apparently it wasn't an option. He actually found the two, who seemed quite unaffected by everything. Instead of apologizing, they preferred to take pictures of half the café. Strange people...
After that, we went on a boat that was rowed by a Thai grandma with her feet. Completely wild. Dennis and I had a fun time with her, even though we couldn't understand each other at all. It's crazy how different the languages are. Unfortunately, at the end, she chatted a bit too much with her colleague, so we took longer than planned and had to rush to the viewpoint to see the sunset on time. But she still got a good tip from us because she entertained us and provided us with beer. And we managed to see the end of the sunset with a nice view. If you're reading this, greetings to the rowing grandma.🥰
After our last day in Hanoi, during which we just went to a café, the gym, and ate, we were finally able to leave this strange city and head to Hue.
Here, a funny headline with clouds should be. But I can't think of one.
In Hue, we only spent one day and one night. But it was a must to visit the Forbidden City, Vietnam's former imperial city. It's a huge area with gardens and temples, surrounded by high fortress walls and full of history. Unfortunately, we only had two hours. With audio guides, I could have spent a whole day there.
Afterwards, I even got to chill with a funny and giant dog.🐶
The next day, we drove 180 kilometers on two scooters over the Cloud Pass and past the city of Da Nang to Hoi An. This pass forms the border between northern and southern Vietnam and offers magnificent views of mountains and the South China Sea.
Although I had almost never ridden a scooter before this, we managed this challenging route very well with both of us on the scooter. However, after riding 180 km on a scooter, it becomes too much at some point, and my giant head is not made for Thai helmets. So, I was glad to finally arrive in Hoi An.
After our hostels in Hanoi were more on the average side (one was even half under construction), the guesthouse in Hue was better, but our guesthouse in Hoi An for 6€ per night was unbeatable. A new, large, and modern room, including breakfast, a super nice family running the place, and great tips for our trips, beaches, and restaurants. You could also rent bicycles and scooters there. In Hoi An, we also had our first beach day, where we did absolutely nothing. It was much needed after 3.5 weeks of traveling.
The use of the bicycles was questionable, though, when I, in a drunken state, mixed in with the waiting scooters at every traffic light, shouted 'Let's go!' with a boxing ring announcer's voice when it turned green, and tried to lead my scooter crew with a rickety bicycle without gears. Although I had a lot of fun, as I did in general in Hoi An.
In short, if Hanoi is Bielefeld, then Hoi An and Da Nang are like Miami. Modern cities and great beaches.
Here is a short excursion into the thoughts of Lukas Baumann:
When men on vacation carry two or more oversized cameras, they always seem strange. I therefore argue for normal-sized cameras and fewer photos.
After our stay in Hoi An in central Vietnam, our two weeks of visa-free stay were coming to an end. We visited Ho Chi Minh for two days and flew from there to Phuket in the direction of the Gulf of Thailand.
Time for further education trips
The traffic in Ho Chi Minh is absolutely crazy. I wouldn't ride a scooter here for any amount of money. At intersections, there are hundreds of scooters and a few cars coming from four different directions.
Although Ho Chi Minh is similar to Hanoi, we liked it better here. Maybe it was because there was less smog and we could see the sky. The fact that it was warmer probably played a role subconsciously as well. Although the 35 degrees in Ho Chi Minh were almost too much.
In the evenings, we played basketball in an arcade, went to a night market as usual, and visited some things. For example, the old post office or a replica of Notre Dame. When you think about it, maybe they should have burned that one too...? Okay, at this point I have probably lost all French readers. Never mind.
Ho Chi Minh is also known for its War Remnants Museum of the Vietnam War. If you have the opportunity to visit this museum, you should definitely do it, as it gives you a better understanding of what the war did to this country, but also to the American GIs. Some pictures, like the effects of the use of chemical weapons on newborns, are hard to look at. The American peace movement can be seen in a positive light, as it contributed to ending this much too long and ultimately too costly war.
In Ho Chi Minh, I also realized once again how big the gap can be for locals in big cities. It makes me uneasy when I sit in a bar at 9 pm and a six-year-old girl has to go to the tables and offer nuts or bananas. Three tables further, the mother is trying to do the same, and you can clearly see that she desperately needs every income and therefore even has to send her little daughter to sell. It just makes you grateful that we won the birth roulette in Germany.
In any case, the time in Ho Chi Minh was interesting and provided a nice end to our time in Vietnam. Personally, I had expected to be able to visit more impressive landscapes during our time in Vietnam, but the weather and limited travel time prevented that. Nevertheless, we were given many impressions and experiences, and great scenes unfolded before us. It wasn't a perfect time and sometimes a bit bumpy in Vietnam, but definitely successful.
In conclusion, the Vietnamese emperor wasn't omnipresent enough for me, and the Thai king remains my number one. Stay tuned Maha.
Best regards,
Lukas Baumann