Travel day to the new island

Up early to get to Koh Tao. The reception hadn't opened when we left, but we had booked a tuk-tuk with the neighbor the night before. A bit nervous as we were cutting it close on time since a couple sitting next to us when we were booking thought we should share a ride, but that wasn't possible because of our many bags. The driver told them 6:50... impossible equation, and I said we absolutely have to leave no later than 7:00!! A bit anxious when no tuk-tuk arrived by 7:10, and we suspected it was the yellow tuk-tuk that was supposed to pick us up... it was always breaking down and stopping everywhere. But we made it in time.

Once on the boat, a little feeling of anxiety crept over me. I've never been good at farewells, and I started thinking about December 22-23. How tears flowed there during the crossing.

When we talked about Christmas in October, my attitude was that we should still be low-key then so that Christmas could be as normal as possible for his children and XX wouldn't be hurt, and that the house deal would be finished and not become messy. My only wish then was to ring in the New Year with him, wherever he might be. But X had higher plans than that. For Christmas, he wished that we could all be together... his family and my family. I was so happy about how he viewed us. How much he wanted us. I said that I still wanted us to be discreet considering the house. Just a day later, he said it didn't matter about the house. I was more important, we were more important, our future was so much more important than a house, so he wanted to move quickly because he wanted to be able to live and be seen with me. I was like on little pink clouds, skipping around like a teenager. Was it even possible to feel this way at an adult age? But then came the weekend when XX and the daughter were at the son's for the second time... he didn't even want us to go to Ljugarn because someone might see us. I stood there questioning... the relatives were on the mainland and we had already had coffee publicly and held hands in Öster in the evenings. I pointed it out, and we managed to leave, but the feeling still lingered in me... something was bothering me.