Malibu, Tears & American Football

On our L.A. trip, Anne and I visited Malibu yesterday.

Once again, we were unsure if this would be such a good destination since some people had told us before that Malibu is not really worth a visit. Anne and I both absolutely cannot understand how anyone could not find this place beautiful. And if both of us find a place so beautiful, that really means something :D. Malibu is located north of L.A. on the Pacific coast, it is a small city that you have certainly heard of! It is known for celebrities, beautiful beaches (with hot surfers ;) ) and scenic hiking trails.

Some people have told us that Malibu is boring, crowded, and not particularly beautiful. We felt the exact opposite: seeing the sea and the mountains at the same time was super exciting, the perfect combination for Anne and me, so that both of us could enjoy ourselves. It wasn't crowded at all...we hiked and then went to a beach. We were practically alone for both activities and could enjoy the beautiful scenery for ourselves while philosophizing about life as always :).

Even though the hike was probably a bit too steep for poor Anne, we were rewarded with great views. During the hike, we could observe the sea from above, simply beautiful. From the top of the mountain, we chose the most beautiful beach as a reward for the hike, and so Anne was motivated to complete the journey. The only people we met during the hike were three Americans who were camping together. We chatted with them for a while, learned new things about the country and its people, and were even invited to visit them in Santa Barbara. These Americans are incredibly friendly, I am always amazed and impressed.

The beach in Malibu was also beautiful...it wasn't warm enough to swim, but simply watching the sea, running through the water, and lying on the beach was incredibly soothing.

Although we didn't meet any celebrities in Malibu (or maybe we just didn't recognize them, which would be typical for Anne and me), we felt like the biggest stars in the world on this beautiful piece of Earth, as we were rewarded with such beauty.

After Malibu, a sense of melancholy slowly but surely set in, especially for me. It was our last day, as Anne flew back to Germany today. So we treated ourselves to some massive burgers (at In-N-Out Burger, this chain only exists in California and everyone recommends it) and bought some Malibu liquor. We thought the liquor was from Malibu because of its name. However, we soon realized, after a few shots of this wonderful drink, that it actually comes from the Caribbean. It didn't matter, it tasted great, and we got so drunk that we forgot about being sad and had a nice last evening together.

The next morning was even harder: with too little sleep, too much alcohol, and a huge fear of separation on my part, I had no desire to get up. But there was no use in that...Anne wanted to go back to Germany, and even I cannot compete with Sebastian (her boyfriend) ;). So we drove to the airport together. During the drive, Anne comforted me lovingly and encouraged me a lot, but I still had a very uneasy feeling about having to continue traveling alone. Accordingly, there were tears and many fears at the farewell. I repeatedly realize how difficult separations are for me. On the other hand, I also realize that I survive them, that people stay with you even over long distances, and that I can handle being alone very well. Nevertheless, something special is missing without Anne: we have known each other for over 10 years, but we have gotten to know each other even better on this trip than ever before in life. It is unbelievably great that we can talk about almost everything, especially things that do not stay on the surface. Anne has helped me incredibly by just being completely authentic. She can also talk about her weaknesses, worries, and fears, showing me how human all those 'negative' emotions are. People like Anne make me feel less crazy and lonely, it's great to see that other people often go through the same internal struggles as you do. It's a shame that we often talk about it so rarely and by doing so, perceive ourselves so differently from others. Openness can be so helpful and make life easier. Even if Anne doesn't always have the same view on things as I do, discussions like that make me think. Discussing things, questioning them, and exchanging honest opinions often helps and allows us to step out of our subjective perspective from time to time. In any case, I have learned a lot from Anne on my trip and I am incredibly grateful for that. One of the best feelings is that Anne continues to travel with me in her thoughts and via the phone, even though she is so far away from me. Finding people who stay with you no matter who, where, and how you are is one of the greatest gifts of all.

To treat myself a bit after Anne's departure and to not feel completely alone, I decided to rent a car just for myself for two weeks while traveling through California. I realized what freedom and flexibility a car provides, especially in the United States. Without a car, you are really lost here because of the poor public transportation. It would also not be possible to see the national parks in the U.S. without a car. So after Anne's departure, I picked up my little Ford as a substitute and drove to the ocean to clear my head and deal with my sorrow a bit.

After my two favorite drugs, sports and nature, I already felt much better. I swam a bit in the Pacific (which was incredibly cold with a water temperature of 17 degrees, Americans asked me if I was crazy to go into the cold water) and then relaxed by the sea. In my opinion, sometimes you just have to cry about things and be alone in order to deal with emotionally challenging things.

The good thing was, I wouldn't be alone for long after Anne's departure. A few weeks ago, I accepted an invitation from Mark to visit him in the L.A. area. I met Mark at a Halloween party in Boulder. I don't know if he expected me to actually accept his invitation :D But I thought, I have to seize the opportunity, so I am currently couchsurfing at his place. It was a great feeling to be welcomed by Mark, to see a familiar face, and thus make the separation from Anne easier to cope with. Mark is also a completely different experience compared to meeting all the Americans, which makes it really exciting. Mark is British and works in the U.S., so he speaks a completely different English accent that sounds great after all the American mumbling. It's also good to be able to complain about American quirks with another European ;). Mark was able to recommend beer and food that Europeans in the U.S. also like. It is also extremely interesting to be able to freely discuss American politics and behaviors with a European who has been living here for a while. Being confronted with the British, more introverted, calm style is very interesting in contrast to the extroverted Americans. However, true to the motto 'Who travels must adapt to the culture of the country,' Mark took me to his friends in the evening to introduce me to American football. It was the first football game of my life that I actually watched. Honestly, I find the sport quite brutal and the rules complicated. Poor guys, I kept asking them questions about the sport. But they reassured me by admitting that they themselves don't understand all the rules, even though they have been following the sport for years :D. In the U.S., watching sports is definitely different from watching soccer in Europe. Here in the U.S., it's more of a social gathering. During the game, you chat, drink a lot of beer together, order pizza, and have a lot of fun. Apart from the countless fouls in football, I had a really great evening. The three guys were super nice and easygoing, and they warmly welcomed me even as an unknowing football lady. The fact that I constantly talked about something else didn't bother them at all. And I have to say, there is really good American beer too!