Tshaj tawm: 06.03.2017
For the sake of completeness and because as a little wannabe photographer I of course have to get rid of my photos of this amazing island, I have had the point 'Phillip Island Part 2' on my blogger list for weeks. The only problem? Due to a lot of work, I hardly had time to gather fresh ideas for another blog post.
WHAT A LUCK that a certain person gave me more inspiration than necessary just before departure. To be honest, I have spent some time considering whether or not to write this story, as it touches me more than any previous failures. But this blog is my personal diary and I will not leave out the unsightly parts of my story, because in the end they are just as much a part of my experiences as the beautiful parts. I can't just delete a chapter, like I can now as I write this entry.
The reason why I mostly keep my future plans low-key? As I had to find out once and for all: because they never work out anyway.
The original plan was to leave Phillip Island on Monday and take a ferry to Tasmania, an island 'Under Down Under', together with a buddy who had grown close to my heart during our time working together. The idea had been maturing for about 4 weeks and was a motivation for me to get up in the mornings and take on a new work day. My anticipation grew day by day.
Finally, after a few incredibly exhausting days at work, I had my day off! I went for a hike to the highest point of Phillip Island, and with this incredibly beautiful landscape in front of me, I sent a voice message to my parents. 'I don't know how often in one's life one comes to the point where one can't believe one's own happiness.' I was completely blissful. Best Day Ever!
Evening came and I received a WhatsApp message canceling our entire planned trip (for the record: 5 days before departure). The reason? He wanted and needed to travel alone. Yes, this could be the best day ever.
I'll be honest, this moment was the first on my journey where I wished I was just at home, with my family around me and someone to hold me. Never before had I felt SO alone. It wasn't only the fact that I was naturally hurt and still am by this move that brought me to my personal end this evening. As a backpacker, so far away from home and my loved ones, it meant a lot to me to have gained a true friend. Between so much freedom and independence, I had someone who made me feel at home at least for one evening.
But then the story took its turn and for a moment, I could only watch as everything fell apart. I gave my all every day to somehow make the most of every day in Australia, even if it was just to survive work. And yet, to this day, there are those moments when I look back at how it could have been and just ask myself, why?
Apart from that, a few days before my departure, I was completely alone without a Plan B. I relied on Plan A and simply trusted. Mistake! As I said in my last entry: Trust nobody. Well, I guess I should have listened to myself.
My only consolation? It couldn't get any worse.
So, completely devastated, I sent a voice message to my best friend and my sister back home, who called me immediately and could make me laugh again. Apparently, Australia has already made me strong enough for life, because after a 10-minute phone call, I was already lying on my bed laughing again with my sister on the other end of the line, simply because I couldn't believe my own situation once again. It's incredible that the person who has always lifted me up when I was down has become the reason why I sat there again, not knowing what to do.
At this point, I want to thank my sister and my best friend Lisa infinitely. No matter how far away I am, you somehow manage to lift me up and give me new hope. I don't know how to express how grateful I am to have a sister who is always there for me and somehow always manages to give me strength and courage, and a best friend who starts crying herself just because she hears me crying. I wish I could just hug both of you and say thank you, but unfortunately, I can't. I hope I can at least express my gratitude a little bit, because you are everything to me and with you by my side, the world is a lot less frightening.
Yes, life often has some really nasty moves up its sleeve, and sometimes they come from a direction you never expected. But if Australia has taught me one thing by now, it's that life always goes on somehow. No matter how hopeless my situation may seem in some moments, I know that I will find a solution this time too. I will overcome this hurdle and stand up again.
I have learned to believe in myself.
What's next? I have found new people, set new goals, taken a new path, and by now, I get goosebumps again when I think about what's to come. I am closing the chapter on Phillip Island with all its beautiful aspects, characters, and adventures. It's time to fill a few new pages with joy of life and wanderlust.
The haircut is on point and I am so ready for life.
Recently, I received a compliment that took my breath away. My life and my stories are worthy of a movie. Folks, no matter how hard life can sometimes be: if it results in a movie in the end, which I would watch myself, then it's worth fighting for.