Part 6: SCOOTER FAREWELL, BATS (NOT), PENIS CULTURE & CHRISTMAS ON THE BEACH

“What do you really need on vacation? Right. Patience, humor – and occasionally a premium ticket.”

We make our way to Chiang Mai airport. Mode of transport: Songthaew. The airport itself is pleasantly manageable – nothing like the European concrete cathedrals where you feel like you have to move in three days before departure.

Baggage drop, security check – everything surprisingly quick. We wait at the gate and marvel once again at the rather sporty ticket price. The explanation follows promptly: premium tickets. Priority baggage drop. Priority boarding. Suddenly we stand as passengers number 3 and 4 at the plane. Internally, I nod importantly. So this is what wealth feels like.

Destination: Krabi. Just under two hours later – about 1,400 kilometers further south – we arrive. And the premium effect continues: our backpacks arrive after five minutes. With express stickers. I love everything about it.

Outside, the usual taxi whisperers are waiting. We opt for a young girl, let’s say: half voluntarily, who drives us in her outside black but completely Hello Kitty-themed Honda to our accommodation. Thailand just consistently delivers.

Sai Thai Forest Home Stay. Bungalows on stilts, mangrove view, pure nature. Our host explains to us to feel at home. He offers transportation services. We ask about scooter rentals. He nods knowingly. “Tomorrow.” I love that word.

It's late. We sleep.

The next morning, my stomach is the first to wake up. We walk the little path up – limited selection, big hunger. The night before, I had already made arrangements with a dive center: KON TIKI Dive Center is the destination – I can only recommend booking a dive trip here! We grab a passing van – practical. Even more practical: a restaurant directly next to the dive center. First breakfast. Even if it’s more like heading towards lunch. But time is relative.

At the dive center, I book a trip with three dives. Wonderful. The return journey is more complicated – hardly any tuk-tuks or the like around here. So, Grab.

Back at the accommodation, our host is already waiting and drives us directly to the scooter rental. Finally mobile.

Scooter riding in Thailand is… let's say: a social experiment. And I’m basically a pro – my only and first scooter adventure before was in 2023/24 in the Philippines. Still: I love it. Traffic lights are more decoration, speed limits philosophical suggestions. Where there is space, you drive. And yes, they are 125cc scooters. And no, I don’t have a license for that. But hey – it’s going well.

We head to Cemetery Beach. Quiet, barely visited, beautiful. Unfortunately, it’s low tide, so we just walk along the beach. I find a stuffed bear sitting decoratively on a tree stump. Why? No idea. But I accept it.

Crabs everywhere. Everywhere. I could watch them for hours. Hermit crabs feel ticklish in your hand when they dare to leave their shell – as if they’re still contemplating whether they really want to be here.

In the evening, we go to the Krabi Town Night Market. Street art festival. Street food. Singers (some with a persistent will to test our eardrums), breakdancers, life. And yes: the evenings here are significantly warmer than in the north. Sleeping is optional.

The next morning: Dive Day. I ride the scooter to Ao Nang for the meeting point. The other divers and snorkelers trickle in. I help load the longboats and get to board already – priority feels normal by now.

We are a small group. First spot: Ko Ya Wa Sam – about 50 minutes by boat.

My dive buddy Mat is British, also visiting Thailand for the first time. There are big, pink jellyfish. Very pink. Names? Forgotten. Fortunately, short tentacles. Nevertheless: Hello, new life form.

The second spot, Koh See, is even more beautiful. Here there are bamboo sharks. Some fish are munching on the jellyfish – unfortunately with the side effect that their tentacles are floating freely in the water. Yes, I catch some. One right in the face. But it’s nothing serious. You only live once. And it stings a bit.

The third dive also delivers. My guide Kevin is from Tenerife, Kat is soon moving on to Bali. I feel a slight twinge of freedom envy. Just a little.

Back in Ao Nang, I search for my scooter. I find it. Completely boxed in. I text Martin that it might take a while. Meditation in patience.

In the evening we drive together to Ao Nang for dinner. Before that, we are visited by long-tailed macaques that come from the mangrove forest at low tide and create chaos along with the crabs. A great spectacle.

On the beach, there is an unbelievably pink sunset. Fire show. Life. Tourism. Hustle and bustle. Food? Fantastic. As always.

The next day: Monkeys Trail & Bat Cave. Scooter on, let’s go. I’m getting better and wilder. I briefly consider buying a scooter in Germany – but immediately dismiss the thought. It’s no fun with rules. That remains my travel hobby.

At the entrance to the trail, the macaques are waiting. And they are not cute – they are organized. They open zippers, steal bags, rummage through pockets. Martin loses a can of gum. Chewed. Found unsatisfactory. Thrown away. Respect.

On the other side: Pai Long Beach. Beautiful. And packed. We take a longboat towards Railay.

Railay Beach: people. People. More people. We fight our way to the Railay Beach Cave – with many, very large penis sculptures. That’s Thailand for you. “Lingam” – good luck charm in penis form. You never stop learning.

To get to the actual bat cave, we would need another boat. None around. So we swim. I discover a small cave, climb over rocks with ropes like Lara Croft and land on the other side. Peace. Sea. No people. Jackpot.

Back in the hustle and bustle, we quickly have enough. Noise level: stadium. So back to Ao Nang, sunset, food – again successfully. Back to the Forest Home Stay. Silence. Perfect.

Christmas. December 24. 33 degrees. Feels like 37. Google doesn’t lie.

Plan: Mangrove forest and supposedly another bat cave. The mangrove walkway is quickly found. Impressive. Sounds everywhere: cracking, gurgling, bird chirping, monkeys, water.

In the end, the realization: You can only get to the bat cave by boat. Our bat quota remains at zero. It’s just not meant to be.

We return our scooters. And suddenly everything is slow again. Inflexible. Sad. My scooter… sigh.

In the evening, there’s a Christmas program. Our bungalow neighbors – two girls from Munich (the world really is a village) – join us. We share a Grab and go to Ao Nang to celebrate Christmas on the beach.

Sand. Sea. Lights. Warmth. No mulled wine, but also no frost.

Merry Christmas. 🎄🌴✨