That's it….

...I thought for a second. I was really late for dialysis today. At 4:21 p.m. I was in the café with my visit when the nurse called me to say that I can go for dialysis. I did that too and waited another whole hour for my bed. Enough time to take it all in again and realize once again how much I enjoy being a caregiver myself. The person who looked after me was a bit lively and swirled around me and the other patient, but she was so friendly and joked that you couldn't help but like her. At the same time, what she was doing seemed so routine. One of my favorite doctors was also downstairs and I quickly organized for my trainee to assist her with a CVC installation.

It started at 5:30 p.m. After about half an hour I felt incredibly cold and started shaking. I looked at my palms. Every smallest vessel glowed dark blue towards me, my fingertips bright red. The nurse looked at my hands and she and another person frantically tried something on the machine again. Did you forget to turn up the temperature? Cold plasma would mean that not only would my cryoglobulins clog up their expensive dialysis machine, but it would mean my entire body would clog up.

They asked me for a second blanket. Only my head was sticking out and I was shaking from the cold. “87/54 is still normal for you?” Yes, that’s okay!

This time I was finished after two hours. Unfortunately, the machine failed when it was supposed to give me the remaining blood from the machine. I miss that now.

I fall into bed today really exhausted. It was all very tiring.