In the Hamam

When you're in Turkey (like us in Istanbul), you would think one should visit a traditional hamam. However, since Mr. Ärmel has surprisingly little desire for such things, Ms. Waas researched alone to find recommended baths. There are plenty of hamams that belong to hotels. They look very nice, offer comfort and luxury, and are mainly visited by tourists. Accordingly, the prices are also high. This was not what Ms. Waas had in mind. She envisioned a small traditional bath, and she found one. It was located very close to her accommodation and was supposed to cost only a fraction of the tourist hamams. On the only rainy day, she set out on her journey. However, upon arriving there, she was disappointed. During the day, this bath was reserved only for male guests; women had access from 10:00 PM. That was really too late for Ms. Waas. But since she was in Istanbul, it should theoretically be possible to just keep walking and stumble upon another hamam. And so it happened: she walked further, stumbled, and found herself in front of a traditional hamam, which had been built for this purpose in 1481. The price was reasonable, more expensive than the bath she had actually chosen, but cheaper than the tourist hotel baths. Moreover, the building was very beautiful, featuring a glass dome roof and mosaics on the walls. Ms. Waas could only book a regular bathing ceremony because she would have needed to reserve in advance for an additional massage with oil; then a specially trained masseuse would have come.

A staff member in a bathrobe welcomed her and accompanied her to the second floor, where the spacious individual changing rooms (which contained a lounger, coat hooks, a safe, a mirror, a shelf, and a nice window) were located. The cabins for men are on the first floor. Ms. Waas was provided with slippers, a hamam towel, and a disposable thong (similar to the hospital thongs, but in black). She was also informed to wrap herself in the towel before going back downstairs to the steam room. Ms. Waas, who was a bit surprised by what one might expect of her, nodded eagerly. After all, she hadn’t intended to descend the stairs clad only in a hospital thong. Decently arriving downstairs, she received something to drink and was led into the bath, which was separated for men and women. Some might find this prude, but for Ms. Waas, it was just right. Here, she could relax as the only guest. After about 20 minutes, the staff member came and led Ms. Waas to the washing room, where the ritual washing began. To Ms. Waas's great surprise, the said staff member took off her bathrobe, under which she wore nothing but the hospital thong mentioned earlier, albeit in red, which suited her very well. Ms. Waas is not inexperienced with hamams, but the fact that the treatment required an egalitarian quasi-nudity was new to her. However, this soon became clear, as the staff member was so engaged in pouring water over Ms. Waas’s head and body that both ended up completely soaked. If one had previously experienced waterboarding, this ritual would surely be re-traumatizing. However, since Ms. Waas had only had good experiences with water, she could enjoy it. A washcloth was then taken, and Ms. Waas was scrubbed. Then came another side of the staff member to light: if Ms. Waas wanted a massage, she could do it on the side for a tip (with a wink and a nod, hinting at business savvy). Ms. Waas—equally savvy—agreed. Such outfits create connections... The massage on her back, neck, legs, and feet had the firm pressure that Ms. Waas loves. Then it was time for the foam treatment. After that, her hair was washed, including a head massage. Wonderful! Finally, the staff member doused Ms. Waas and thoroughly rinsed her off. Now she was wrapped in a towel like a contented baby and led to the lobby, where she was immediately served tea. Absolutely satisfied, clean, and relaxed, Ms. Waas could enjoy this lovely space. If only she hadn't been seated right across from a gigantic antique weighing scale with running weights. Such things can really dampen the mood, especially when asked if she'd like to weigh herself. Some clients might lose up to 1 kg from the treatment. No, teschekür ederim, she didn’t want that. After Ms. Waas got changed again, she briefly considered whether to take her hospital thong as a souvenir from the hamam but ultimately decided against it.

Upon saying goodbye, she pressed her tip into the hand of the mentioned fashionable and versatile staff member, after which both sides parted ways satisfied—and one side extremely relaxed.