Chapter three 🦝

The head rattled before my eyes opened. I had slept deeply, but was still plagued by sorrow. What am I doing here? These thoughts kept me trapped in bed until I finally decided to grab my things and just start walking. I really enjoy doing that when I'm somewhere for the first time – it helps me get a sense of my surroundings.

The plan was quickly made, without considering that aside from my phone, toiletries, and the clothes from yesterday, I couldn't access my belongings. But to be honest, I didn't care. I sneaked down the hostel stairs, and unfortunately, the nice man from yesterday was no longer there. I pulled open the front door and walked down the street. It was 6 AM, and the streets were quite empty.

After a walk filled with many thoughts and a certain emptiness in my heart, I found the first café and ordered my first Canadian meal. In search of vegan options, I ended up with a sandwich for $9.99. For affordability, I thought to myself. That's about 6.20 euros. Given the size of the sandwich, the price was actually reasonable – even though I secretly wished it looked a bit more like a work of art and less like plain bread with filling.

I spent about two hours in the café because I didn't know what to do with myself. During that time, I observed the few other guests who, like me, were lost in their thoughts. An older gentleman at the neighboring table seemed to be engaged in a deep conversation with his coffee – with himself. I couldn't help but imagine that he might be the next great philosopher of Canada, working out his best ideas.

The day flew by. To be honest, I'm writing this text a week later, and I honestly don't remember much about what I did on my first 'real' day, Saturday, July 5. However, I still clearly recall my feelings, which I discussed for about four hours that day with my mom on the phone and with my three closest loved ones on WhatsApp. The consensus was that I should just do it and enjoy – the new experiences, the freedom, and the opportunity to discover myself. Easier said than done. The feelings one experiences often seem isolating; one thinks they must feel them alone. Until one meets someone who makes them feel like they're not the only ones having such feelings. Two days later, I met someone who gave me that feeling – but more on that later.

Since I no longer recall what happened that day, I will continue with my second day. Even on Sunday, I got out of bed early. After cracking my lock the night before, I finally had access to my belongings again. I decided to watch the sunrise by the sea. There’s truly nothing better for reflection. I strolled down the hill and slowly felt the fresh ocean air. It's not a typical beach; it looks more like a harbor with sand. Nevertheless, the landscape was incredibly beautiful, so it didn't bother me too much that the sunrise was on the other side of the city, shielded by all the skyscrapers.

To see more of the beach, I decided to keep walking – and walking and walking. I thought there would be a point where I could just head back up into the city. However, after an hour, I had walked so far that I thought it wasn't worth it to go back. I'd end up somewhere. After an additional two and a half hours, I then realized I had inadvertently taken a large hike around Stanley Park. Now I at least know what Stanley Park is! While wandering through the park, many new photos were taken on my phone. I paused to capture the stunning views of the vast ocean and towering mountains. Once, I even saw a little raccoon curiously peeking out of a trash can – I couldn't help but laugh and imagine he was the true ruler of the park.

But while I enjoyed the beauty of nature, I also noticed the blisters on my feet. As a typical German standard rule, I should have worn hiking shoes and applied sunscreen. Even though I knew how important it is to apply sunscreen with my fair skin, this morning, it was simply more important for me to get out of the room quickly. Besides, the 'walk' was rather surprising now. I had gotten two new roommates the night before. However, I really just wanted to be alone to consciously experience the journey here. (To be honest, I actually liked the two, which was probably influenced by my inner feeling of loneliness.

With sunburn on my face, however, the evening alone time and discomfort changed. I found two people with whom I would spend the next four days. It was almost as if the universe had given me a little push to step out of my comfort zone. I remember how we met in the kitchen and immediately struck up a conversation – it felt like we had known each other forever.