Forces of nature and the question of humanity

I haven't posted in a while because I'm still digesting an incident

I drove to a campground on June 18th that is relatively high up in the mountains and has just opened. It rained a lot that week, I was still recovering from my flu, and I was glad to have electricity there. Unfortunately, there were no showers, but I only booked 2 nights there anyway. When I woke up the next day and rolled up my blinds, everything was covered in snow. I felt uneasy but tried to stay positive. The power went out. 2 people walked past the camper and conspicuously looked at my campsite, which made me uneasy. In short, a tree above my camper, heavy with snow, was bending towards the roof. I called the park supervisor and asked for help because I knew that tree was about to break. It was snowing heavily and the entire electricity in the district went out, as did the water supply. I tried to stay calm and think logically. I drove the camper forward so that it would be as far away as possible. Then a boy arrived who had no idea about anything and seemed unsure. I wanted to drive the RV away and have him help me, etc. I made suggestions, but somehow not much came from him. While I was looking for solutions, I heard a loud crash above me! It was powerful, and I knew that I had to run or I would be in danger. I didn't have time to look up and hope to run in the right direction. When most of the tree hit directly behind the camper and I got to safety, panic rose in me and I cried and couldn't breathe properly. Around me, the park supervisor, a family with young children in the camper next door, and a young couple. NONE of these people, even later, came to calm me down, ask if I needed anything, or pat my shoulder. They all stared and did or said nothing, which deeply affected me and shocked me equally, so much so that I couldn't speak! I reassured myself in my mind and reminded myself to breathe to avoid fainting. After a few minutes, I went back to the camper and tried to reach someone in Germany. I needed support, a kind word. I reached a friend who was very supportive. After about 1 hour, I went to the young couple and made it clear how antisocial their behavior was and how incredible it is to not offer help to a woman who is standing less than 2 meters away, crying and looking desperate. The couple left 2 minutes later and didn't come back. No one felt responsible. When 2 men with chainsaws arrived to remove the tree that was blocking my exit, I told one of them my story, still trembling. He listened to me, apologized for the other people, and asked if there was anything else he could do for me. I asked him to hug me. And he did, for as long as I needed.

All in all, I am of course glad that nothing happened to me and now I just have to pay a lot of money for the damage to the camper's roof (a branch pierced through the roof), but this shock about people's behavior haunts me.

After that, I met very understanding and kind people... I'm experiencing so much at once here and constantly changing locations. It's almost too much for me...

Then the day before yesterday, I saw a black bear on the side of the road. I was sitting in the camper. Thank God! Beautiful animal, but really serious. I drove slowly past him as he was digging wildly in the ground, and when he saw me approaching, he looked up at me. It was just a split second that our gazes met directly. Very direct. So close. It was scary to look directly at a wild animal like that. I wouldn't have done it without the camper. It would have attacked me, 100%!

I have traveled a lot and very far, and now I'm in Revelstoke, British Columbia. Here, hopefully, I can find some peace. I still sleep very little and usually wake up before 7...

I miss you. Yesterday, I felt very lonely again for the first time in a long time. When I come home in the evening, I can't share my experiences with anyone, and any reactions due to the time difference come hours later. But you are in my heart, I had many of your voices in my head when I was in a panic. You gave me encouragement. I know you are close to me. And then there is, of course, that one heart that I long for ❤