My volunteer work in the dementia home 🦋

Hello!

After helping in the home for 3 weeks now, I can already tell you a little bit about my first experiences and impressions.

I actually applied in December of last year, but unfortunately could only start 'working' (you can't really call it work...) at the beginning of 2019, as my application had to be checked by the National Security Office.

First, a bit about the home: It is a home for about 60 people who are suffering from all forms of dementia, from the initial stage to the final stage. The home is actually structured like a small village with 6 lodges (accommodations), all named after places in the surrounding area. I think it's great how much love and effort has been put into designing each individual room and corridor, and how it is constantly being improved - with the goal of making people really feel at home. There are seating areas in living rooms, which are also beautifully furnished with artificial fireplaces, board games, flowers, etc., and in the kitchen.

Each wall is painted and furnished differently, whether it's a forest, a small grocery store, or a library - everywhere there are different stimuli, objects, and things to touch. There is also a cinema room with red curtains, comfortable armchairs, and lots of DVDs, so that regular film evenings can be organized for the residents and their families. And when you look out the window, you can see flower-painted walls, tables, and benches in well-maintained gardens everywhere. What also impressed me a lot is the 'church', which also takes up a large space and is equipped with pictures, an altar, and a kind of prayer table (?). There is almost a daily mass, conducted by two men in priestly attire (I don't know if they're actually priests), followed by a blessing for each person and singing.

There are also regular events, such as an Afternoon Tea Party two weeks ago, where pottery cups and containers made by the residents as part of an art project were exhibited. There will also be a Valentine's Day ball, which unfortunately I cannot attend as it takes place in the afternoon. The residents are also taken to the pub for a pint every now and then.

I'm describing all of this in detail because I'm really impressed that the home in no way resembles an institutional or sanitary facility (even though it used to look like that). The people who work there are all very nice, open-minded, and above all, warm-hearted. I am greeted friendly by every single employee and receive a lot of gratitude and appreciation in return. Before my first 'working day', I felt very well prepared because there was an introduction where the home, the staff, hygiene regulations, and the way of working were presented. In addition, I was given a whole folder with tips on communication and information about dementia, the different stages, and how to best connect with people and bring them joy, as well as important guidelines on how to set clear boundaries in certain situations.

Since the people may quickly forget various experiences, etc., it's about living in the moment, giving them a smile, and making the moment as beautiful as possible (like a butterfly 🦋). I find their approach "...people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."  very beautiful and inspiring :-). For example, last week Monday, after the Tea Party that took place over the weekend, I asked a woman and she just said, 'There was a Tea Party?'

Last Saturday, a workshop/seminar was held where I got to meet many other volunteers and some staff members. The people who volunteer here come from different walks of life, and there are also representatives from the retirement age range.

Now to my 'work': I am there on three mornings a week. On Monday and Tuesday, I help with activities - so I arrive early and first sit with the residents who live in one of the lodges and are still in the early stages, in the kitchen while they have breakfast (typically toast with jam or bacon, scrambled eggs, and black pudding - with tea or coffee), and I'm always offered something to eat or drink (from the old people as well - who often want to share with me). Usually, we chat a little about very simple topics, like the weather, and I am often told that I am a 'lovely girl,' which is pretty sweet :-). You can't have real conversations with the people anymore because the dementia is already too advanced, but as I said: simple topics and above all compliments are always a good icebreaker. Later, a group of children aged about 4 to 5 years old come and they paint, do crafts, or play skittles while the old people watch or do a bit of painting themselves. One of the favorite games for everyone in the room is definitely the back-and-forth game with balloons! Everyone also likes to sing Irish (hits?) songs together :).

After the children have left, those who want to go to the church service go to the 'church'. For example, this Monday, two women didn't want to go, so I looked at a magazine and rated clothes with them. Then it's time for lunch, to which I am invited again each time.

On Tuesday, the routine is similar, but the activity of the day is 'Fit for Life', which I actually prefer. The residents all sit in armchairs in a big circle and are given small sticks or balls to imitate exercises that are demonstrated to them - which is really quite funny and everyone enjoys it (especially because of the way the activity manager communicates and interacts with them!!). It repeatedly shows me that it's not so much about what you do with the people, but much more about how they feel and how happy they are in that moment.

On Fridays, I always spend time with a woman who originally comes from Germany and now speaks almost exclusively in her mother tongue due to illness. I communicate with her and with the other residents and staff, so the others mostly have to guess what she means, but in a playful way they interact with her and have even learned a little German ;-). I think it really does her good to speak German with me and to talk about her family and past hobbies. I can already see when I enter the room that she is happy to see me.

But it's not always easy, especially when people are together who are in slightly different stages. For example, the other day I sat with a few people at a table and introduced myself to a man every minute and listened to his rhymes, which he likes to repeat over and over again. Another woman can't speak properly anymore and tells many unrelated things that are very difficult for me to understand due to her way of speaking... or she walks around the kitchen without a specific goal. In such situations, one of the women always tells me that there are also many stupid and disabled people living here who can't even eat or speak properly - they are disturbed. Or sometimes she reacts impatiently and with incomprehension towards the other person or even shouts at them ('Shut up' or 'You are shit' - they wouldn't understand it any other way). In such situations, I find it more difficult to find the right words... I think it's just a way for them to stand out and show that they themselves are 'normal' and the behavior of the others isn't.

This week, I tried myself in the 'day care' area for the first time. This is where people who still live with their families come up to 3 times a week. They get breakfast, a 3-course lunch, and coffee and tea with biscuits in the afternoon. In between, they sit together comfortably in a room, chat (as far as I can tell, real friendships even develop :-) - in any case, they always ask each other how they're doing). There is always a program scheduled: When I was there, everyone worked on a crossword puzzle together, answered quiz questions, or painted. Yoga was supposed to take place in the afternoon, and later a choir would come.

The people are always happy to hear that I come from Germany: For example, one woman used to sing German songs in a choir and raved to me several times about a German singer (whose name I forgot) or even sang songs to me.

In conclusion, I can say that I'm very glad I found this facility and have the opportunity to contribute something there and make good use of my free time. Especially since I see how much my help is appreciated by everyone and how much it clearly brightens up people's moments and also personally teaches me a lot :-). For me, it's also a good opportunity to be around people during the day and to speak English.

Best regards, Hanna ❤️