Published: 04.02.2026
Last week the check-up went really well… or so I thought. Despite the icy temperatures, I'm doing well: no discoloration of the skin, hardly any pain. No neurological deficits… Like a miracle!
But two weeks ago, there was this big swollen lymph node on my neck. It must just be an infection? No, it felt somehow different. Suspicion of shingles on the head. But there were no blisters? What else could it be? The lump went down… everything back to normal(?)
Last week then the usual 20 blood tubes. First call, good news: ‘the initial values are okay. Not great, but completely within range.’
Then the disappointment; the rest of the values came in and were different than expected.
No B-cells and my cryocrit and cardiolipin skyrocketed…
Did I possibly overlook the symptoms? Stress masks so much. I usually notice every little prick. Was there one? Was there tingling? Was there perhaps the familiar pain? Didn’t my foot get stuck while walking recently? Have I perhaps gotten so used to it that I blocked it out?
Maybe. Maybe because I didn't want to acknowledge it. Maybe because I knew what it meant.
‘We need to do plasmapheresis. We need to act before it gets worse.’
I tried to negotiate: ‘Please, can we take blood again?’
She: ‘Sure, but what’s there is there… you can’t just magically get rid of tumor cells with the next blood draw. That’s not how it works. But if you want, come back tomorrow morning. I’ll still let the chief doctor know that we may need a bed.’
I really believe in miracles. I truly do.
