Don Curry listens to Heino

Don Curry is aware that traveling is not always enjoyable. Sometimes one can find themselves in situations that are hard to endure, situations that stretch the comfort zone far beyond what is familiar. For example, seeing a cow being slaughtered and butchered right in front of Don Curry's eyes in South Africa. Or witnessing the mahout hammering the elephant Don Curry is sitting on in Cambodia, just to make it obedient. So far, this journey has spared him from such unbearable experiences. The harsh Margareta, the terrible weather on the Solovetsky Islands - none of it was particularly pleasant, but still within the realm of tolerability. However, today was about to exceed that limit...

It all started so harmoniously. Don Curry could witness the gradual break of dawn over the Baltic Sea right from his bed, whenever he opened his eyes. The breakfast at the Viinistu Art Hotel was highly praised by many reviewers on the internet, but based on Don Curry's Russian experiences, he could only consider it as mediocre. Only the fried mushrooms added a touch of uniqueness.

After all the city and castle days, Don Curry finally wanted to experience nature today; Lahemaa National Park, where he spent the previous night, offered the perfect opportunity. It was the first national park of the former Soviet Union, although the entire coast was strictly guarded military zone until the early 90s, not even the locals were allowed to enter. Perhaps this fact contributes to the enchantingly rustic nature of this northeastern Estonian coast.

Initially, Don Curry was interested in some souvenirs from the last ice age. Back then, the massive glaciers pushed enormous boulders from Scandinavia and left them in Estonia. Don Curry searched for two of these rocks with a circumference of over 20 m during short hikes. After that, he went to Käsmu, the most picturesque place in the national park. The whole village and its surroundings are characterized by small and large rocks scattered in the landscape and the coastal sea.

This gives the village - in addition to its colorful wooden houses - a picturesque appearance and also gives the coast its own wild character. Don Curry was able to experience this on a nature trail. He also visited the small church of Käsmu.

Before lunch, he wanted to explore the Beaver Trail in Oanda, another short nature trail that led to a small stream and its beaver dams.

In Palmse Körts, an ancient inn, he had the opportunity to try typical Estonian specialties.

He ordered Mulgipuder, a porridge made from mashed potatoes mixed with swollen barley grains (groats), fried onions, and bacon. The small bowl of porridge didn't look very appealing, but it turned out to be incredibly filling.

To complement it, Don Curry ordered Kama, the Estonian national drink: roasted grain flour mixed with some sugar and a lot of kefir, resulting in a refreshing, creamy beverage that contributes significantly to the feeling of fullness.

After short visits to the old German-Baltic manor houses of Sagadi, Palmse, and Kolga, Don Curry initially planned to go on a bog walk. However, the worsening weather and the overcrowded parking lot made him change his mind. So he went directly to Tallinn, a city he had last visited 14 years ago.

Accessing his holiday apartment on the outskirts of Tallinn's Old Town was almost like an escape room adventure. Yesterday he received precise instructions via email: 5 photos showed the route to the parking lot, the actual parking space where a bicycle lock with a box was attached, the bicycle lock, the access to the house with the holiday apartment, and the access card to the parking lot. The email contained the numerical code that Don Curry could use to open the box. It contained the key to the holiday apartment on the 1st floor of the neighboring building. In the holiday apartment, he finally found the access card to the parking lot so that he could also move his car to the designated location - all very exciting, but helpful and well-structured.

As the location for his dinner, Don Curry had already chosen the Beer House in advance, a microbrewery in the heart of the Old Town. He found the brewery restaurant quite easily, passing by some familiar churches and the restaurant-filled Town Hall Square. For a microbrewery, the Beer House had more than enough space: Don Curry estimated around 300 seats both indoors and outdoors. Inside - where Don Curry settled due to the evening chill - everything was designed for 'German coziness': dark wooden tables and benches, life-sized wooden sculptures of horses and cheerful drinkers, hay bales, threshing flails, etc...

The brewery offered eight self-brewed beers, all of them with German names - according to Bavarian tradition, there were only 2 sizes available: 0.5 or 1.0 liters. Don Curry initially chose a pale Märzen, then a semi-dark Premium, and finally a dark Extra Dark - all of them very drinkable and convincing, the Extra Dark even had the chance to become one of his favorite beers with its distinct chocolate notes. The menu offered what Estonians would expect from German cuisine: lots of sausages, pork knuckles, schnitzel, burgers - but everything was shockingly expensive. Don Curry ordered a grilled sausage with beer-cooked sauerkraut and honey mustard, plus fries with sauce, totaling 15 €. The three 0.5-liter beers even brought the total to a whopping 19 €. Don Curry could already conclude one thing: Tallinn had become incomparably more expensive - beyond a reasonable level.

But that wasn't the worst part! In their delusion that beer sells best with heavily emphasized German traditions, the operators of the Beer House also selected the background music - the finest Musicantenstadl garbage. And suddenly, Heino started singing! Don Curry had to concentrate hard not to regurgitate what he had just consumed. Does our nation have nothing more to offer the world than beer, coziness, and Heino?

Feeling somewhat humiliated, Don Curry left the beer-soaked establishment, wandered around Tallinn's wonderful Old Town for a bit, and tried to regain his composure...