Ishicilelwe: 26.06.2023
I spent the last long day in the national park packing, visiting Medicine Lake and Maligne Canyon, and then driving back towards Banff. I was on the road from 7 in the morning until half past 11 in the evening. Yeah, crazy! Five hours of driving and seeing a lot. But well, the days before it was just raining and the roads were still closed due to the snowstorm and subsequent heavy rain for three days...
When I arrived at Medicine Lake, I immediately felt its incredible impact! It was still cloudy and rather gray, and the area was still covered in snow, but I have never seen such a huge, clear, beautiful, and magical lake before! Of course, I washed my face and hands in it and spoke from the bottom of my heart :)
In the canyon, two girls came towards me on the trail and told me that there was a black bear 5 meters in front of me, just so that I know. Uh, okay? It also occurred to me that I didn't have anything with me today, not even my water bottle. I actually just wanted to make a short detour there... it's good that he was already gone when I turned the corner, walking slowly and looking at the ground. The trail was still so muddy and slippery and at the same time narrow that I couldn't allow myself to be scared or slip away. I returned safely to the camper. By the way, that was about 3 hours before I saw the bear on the side of the road from the previous post... :)
I reflected on the past few days and kept getting annoyed about the drama and just couldn't understand and let go. Just now, I listened to a podcast about empathy and love among people. And how anger, rage, or hatred/envy change and suppress these feelings. And somehow, I was able to decide now to let go of the anger. I would like to mention at this point that during the processing of this conflict, the advice from my dear Anna was very helpful. Thank you!
And also thank you, Kat, for being such a great support in that moment.
I would also like to thank Chris. We haven't known each other for long, but he was there and got to know me in a very desperate moment...
What have I learned from this? First:
That I am rich in loving, honest, and compassionate people surrounding me. This makes me very happy and allows me to unfold and feel safe. 💜 and I am loved.
Second:
I can finally stop questioning my instincts. If I feel uncomfortable, if I know that something is about to happen because perhaps the squirrel warned me, then I can trust it! Period.
Third:
I can stand up for myself. Even under the greatest stress, I can distinguish between right and wrong and won't let myself be beaten down. That will remain the same. Period.
And finally, the matter of empathy. I think I somehow pitied myself and took care of myself as best I could. And yes, I would help this couple now, even if they didn't, because I can't do otherwise and I don't want to. If we as humans lose or reduce our ability to empathize, no one will survive in the long run. Community and love carry us so infinitely far...
In short:
I ❤ you all!