Empower yourself as a woman to conquer the world!

'You want to travel the world? All alone as a girl? Aren't you afraid? It's so dangerous!'

I've heard that so many times, you wouldn't believe it. But what's even worse is how often I had to justify myself for it! 

Only a few people actually supported or reacted positively to my plans, and if I said that none of it unsettled me, I'd be lying. I had doubts right before I started. But that's a different topic that I'll talk about in another post. 

The basic rules

One could think that there are certain basic rules that should ALWAYS be followed. But that usually has to do with logical and reasonable thinking. At my age, one should already be capable of doing so. 

These roughly include...

...not walking alone at night 

...not getting lost alone while drunk

... staying away from all kinds of drugs

...and not going to the loneliest places with strangers. 

Just logical things.

Moreover, one should have a certain gut feeling for people and be able to assess how others behave towards you. Whenever I felt uncomfortable or didn't click with someone, I distanced myself from them. But that only happened once or twice and it was never anything bad. 

I always found people to travel together with. Sometimes I was even glad to have a few hours of peace. It's incredibly interesting to listen to new life stories and philosophize about life. Together, we always found our way easier and did great things. So basically, I was practically NEVER alone.

And I never dressed provocatively either. That makes traveling much more enjoyable on its own. Not only in terms of comfort, but also in terms of how others look at you. I mean, it was already exhausting enough to be stared at because of my skin color in India or Indonesia, I don't need to stand out even more. Especially since I don't want to intentionally provoke anything.

You always have to be careful about everything. For example, I always book flights so that I reach my hostel/accommodation during daylight and in general, I prefer taking the longer route through busy streets rather than the shorter route through creepy alleys.

You can already provide yourself with a basic feeling of security. Of course, you know that something can always happen, but that's the case at home as well. And the way things went so far, I can't name a single situation where I was really scared that something would happen to me due to the fault of others. 

So my loved ones don't forget me and don't worry too much, I left behind small gifts for birthdays and Christmas :) And also a letter for each of them, for when they miss me.

At that age?!

Wherever I've been, I've almost always been the youngest. Many people have always been amazed when I revealed my age and then said that I was so brave. Usually, it is common for many people to study first and then make such a trip. Especially when it comes to travelers from other Western countries. So it's quite surprising that I have the opportunity to do it now. Many people also mentioned that it's not as easy as in Germany to have a job on the side in terms of finances. 

For me, however, it is the perfect time. I have already planned my future in my mind and such a trip is not on the agenda again. But you should never say never! :D

Such a bad mother

It's not enough that I had to justify myself all the time - no - my dear mom had to do it several times as well. And that is something that I am really sorry about and at the same time makes me incredibly angry. 

Of course, it's never easy to let your child go once they're grown up and going their own way. But sending your child alone into the world probably makes it even harder (especially when it's the youngest in the family). How a mother deals with it is up to her. But for the child, it is always best to be supported by their parents, right?! Even though it's certainly not easy when your child has such plans. Parents can easily try to discourage their child and talk them out of it. Luckily, that wasn't the case for me. Mom helped me instead of trying to forbid me. She is the one who always supports me the most and tries everything to help me in any way possible. 

It was the best thing for our relationship and I can't imagine how it would be if she had chosen a different path. We always had a great relationship, but in my opinion, it got even better through my trip. 

However, not everyone understood this. How could she support something like that? How could she just send her little girl into the world like that? Yes - my mom had to justify herself often as well. It even went so far that she was labeled as a bad mother. 

I was furious. How dare they say something like that? 

Mom supports me with so much love and dedication, tries everything to make me happy, and then they judge her like that. It's outrageous. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and doesn't have to approve of her decision, but personally attacking her like that is just going too far. 

I also want to show how difficult it was for us. I always talk about the 'rosyworld' and mostly highlight all the good experiences, but there are also these bad sides. Especially when it comes to this topic, I wanted to put it out there again because it really was one of the biggest stumbling blocks. 

I never wanted to involve my mom like that, but indirectly, I did. Unfortunately, there was often too little understanding for everything. However, we somehow managed to overcome this hurdle together and I am very grateful for that. I still don't know how to thank her for everything. I always just told her: 'Mom, maybe other kids are in 'safety', but on the other hand, you have the happiest kid in the world!' :)

How great it is to be alone as a girl..!!

Has anyone ever thought about the advantages of being a girl traveling alone?! Probably not many. I also only noticed it on the way that the advantages clearly outweigh the disadvantages. 

Imagine, a girl like me walks alone down the street. Completely exhausted from carrying the huge backpack and to make matters worse, completely confused by the stupid navigation. A desperate look along the sidewalk has often helped me, as someone approached me to help me.. and no, it wasn't just random single men. Often, they were also airport/bus station staff or other travelers. All of them often helped me. And if it was a single man, there was the extra advantage that they took my backpack off :D

Example: In Kuala Lumpur, I thought it would be quick and easy to walk the 3.5km to the hostel. Nonsense!! I was completely exhausted in the heat and just slumped along. Then someone approached me, started a conversation, took my backpack and even brought me to the hostel. Yeah, I thought that was nice. 

Just a little snapshot of that. I had to capture it!

In hostels, I usually just sat alone in the lobby and there was always a conversation that developed here and there. Or I participated in hostel pub crawls and quickly made connections. So making contacts is incredibly easy as a girl traveling alone!

Example: I met Sarah from France on one of these tours. She had the same destination as me the next day: Melaka in Malaysia and she even changed her hostel to the same one as me after partying until 4am. 

Example: I was just approached by the lovely girls from Stuttgart in Kuala Lumpur. We had a great time later in Bali!

Example: Here in Hawaii, I recently drove along the streets with the windows rolled down. The guys in the car next to me started talking to me and had fun. We made a quick stop at the side of the road and I quickly gave them my number. You can imagine how many opportunities I've had to go partying with them.. :D It was like something out of a movie. 

Especially when it comes to this: you meet people that you would never meet if you were traveling with a travel partner. And that would be a shame considering all the nice people I've met so far! I would never have used Couchsurfing that way if I hadn't been alone. But I don't want to miss that experience anymore. It was incredibly interesting. 

If I was left alone at parties for a few minutes, I was also never alone for long. Now you might think that's not a big deal, with all the flirting going on by many men. However, I was surprised how many girls have always pulled me into their circle to dance!! There have been situations that I had never experienced before. 

Example: I was sitting alone on a rock in front of the sea in Indonesia for 5 minutes, while Eko was withdrawing cash. Then 3 Australian girls started dancing with me and I danced with them for a while. The exact same situation happened again 2 hours later when Eko went to the toilet. 

If I met someone new and then went out to eat, I was often treated to a meal. I felt like I had already financed half of my trip like that :D Even if I suggested eating or doing something, most of the time everything was paid for me. And: it was not just single men. (Actually, it's kind of sad that I have to mention this.. but I want to prevent the assumption that it was only men pursuing something) 

Example: Oh boy.. there are countless examples :D With Theo from Banyuwangi, I really wanted to eat the typical Indonesian soup 'Basko Ayam' and he not only showed me the best restaurant but even paid the bill. 

Example: In Hawaii, I wanted to do something with the mom of the family in order to get to know each other better and spend an afternoon together. I asked her if we wanted to go for coffee. She liked the idea and actually paid for my vanilla latte. 

Oh, there are just soooo many other examples that show how easy it was for me to be alone as a girl and all the advantages that come with it. This side should also be considered before passing judgment. 

Alone in India

Especially because I chose India as my first travel destination, it triggered even stronger reactions from many people. 'So many women are raped there. Women are treated like scum' Those were the kinds of things I always heard. However, even then, I knew that I would be participating in a well-organized project and that it would be different from what everyone imagines. And it was.

I still remember reading the travel guide that Linda gave me on the airplane and getting really scared. Stories about men touching women inappropriately. Stories about murders and child abuse (a story about a small child with screws stuck in them; I could never forget that). And of course, stories about rape. I would have stormed into the cockpit and asked to change the route. However, I didn't experience any of that and afterwards, I wondered why travelers are being scared like this. Sure, you have to be cautious in India, but it's exaggerated to display gruesome stories of individual cases! I often read newspapers and a lot was written about murders and abuse. However, in 95 percent of cases, these were always internal family stories. And considering how all Indians always looked at us, I wonder why they would target foreigners/travelers. They treated us more like stars than anything else. 

Mumbai is quite developed when you compare the city to the villages. The people from our surroundings there were mostly always wealthy and therefore, more Western in many ways. It sounds stupid, but ultimately, it's the truth. The way they appeared to us was in many ways very similar to the relationship construct that we mostly know in Germany. Couples got together out of love, the man pampered the woman, treated her like a princess, and made her happy, and desires for children were mostly limited to 1-2 children. However, women were still super dependent on men there. Especially financially, it would be difficult for a woman to be independent due to the incredible income disparities. It was shocking to see that at the age of 18, I traveled alone and my friend Sejal transitioned from the dependence of her parent's house to the dependence on her husband after the wedding. That was shocking at first for a woman like me, who always tried to make herself independent and advocated for complete equality for women. Yes, my sisters did a great job instilling the little feminist in me :D

But how was it for Pauli to be alone in India as a girl? Very pleasant. And it was probably the most relaxed time I've ever had. The project was well organized, so I didn't have to worry about planning. Even when we were out alone on our days off, we were never harassed in any way. Sure, we were often stared at, but it was more out of curiosity than anything else. We even went to parties. And what can I say?! I've never felt as safe at a party as in India!! Crazy, right?! Since we were with guys, it seemed to be assumed that we were their partners and as a result, not a single man approached us. Most of them were too busy dancing to even have time to check out girls. Bags were left on benches on both sides so you could dance freely. 

As mentioned before, Mumbai is a pretty developed city that is already very Western-oriented. So you can feel safe while out and about. In any case, I had not a single bad experience there, which I'm very glad about.

So, that's it, to give an idea of how it really is to be alone as a woman traveling. All in all, it's definitely an adventure. The biggest one of my life so far. 

I'll still be careful. Promised! And then, hopefully, everything will be fine. The daily check-in call from mom won't stop, despite all promises and explanations, but that's the way it should be! After all, I'm happy to have the dearest person in the world with me every day and to tell her how my day was and what I experienced. Ultimately, that gives me the strength and courage to continue like this! :) 

My favorite picture! One of the Finns in India always wore this t-shirt and I just love it. It's a great message and definitely the best ending for this story!