Crash course in life

A few days ago, an old school friend who is currently also working as an au pair in Australia said to me, 'Vreni, Australia is like a crash course in life.' And she was right.

Australia is more than just traveling around and enjoying yourself. It's more than wandering along lonely roads, singing 'Country Roads' with a backpack. Australia is a fucking crash course in life.

Of course, I was aware that I had to take care of my own problems. I knew that I had to do my own laundry, cooking, and organizing. But there are challenges that come your way, challenges that seem damn big from your perspective. And you reach a point where you have to decide whether to stay where you are or take another step forward.

I had never been homesick before, and no, I don't wish I could fly home now either. But these moments are missing. The feeling of being settled, being able to relax, is missing. I miss sitting with my best friend on the balcony on Saturdays, with a glass of wine and our hookah, just talking. I miss having someone with me whom I trust completely and with whom I can be myself. I miss lying on the floor and my dog Sylvie coming running and throwing herself on top of me until we both almost fall asleep. I would give anything to sit on the balcony with my parents after dinner, drinking Cocosrum and talking. I miss my sister, who is always my anchor when my problems become too big.

These moments are simply missing, and they make me realize how precious my home is. They show me how much strength having family and friends with you unconsciously gives you. You learn to appreciate the people you love so much.

Then there's the work situation. You apply, get accepted, and trained. Then you wait for your work schedule, but nothing comes. The boss is, of course, hard to reach. Midweek, you receive the message: unfortunately overstaffed. Which means: the signed employment contract is worth shit. Okay, let's move on. You apply online to countless companies. Spend evenings in front of the laptop instead of going out. Hand out resumes to people who laugh in your face and assure you they will call. Niente. Precious time just passes you by for nothing. And yes, that is frustrating.

The account keeps shrinking and you are stuck here in a huge city where it seems like there is no one on your side.

Sometimes, I wish I were one of those people who take things lightly. But I'm not. I agonize over every little thing. I am a damn perfectionist. And yes, it is difficult to perfect this journey when something keeps messing up your plans.

Every day, the time in Australia gets shorter, and there is still so much to see. How long will the money last? How can we travel from A to B? How can we continue to travel together even though our plans are falling apart? Questions, questions, questions. And there is little room for enjoyment and living.

If someone asked me what crash course Australia has brought, it's definitely not doing laundry and grocery shopping. If you learn anything here, it's how to get your own shit together. Not giving up. Playing your cards as best as you can, even when they're shitty.

Sometimes, I have to mentally slap myself and realize that I'm doing everything pretty great. I just need to trust myself again and believe in myself, and in the meantime, open my eyes and realize that I'm in Australia and that this life is fucking awesome.

And when I've had enough of city life, it's time to escape on another road trip. I'm out of this shit.