Good news

A few days had passed by now, it was Sunday and still no backpack or work in sight!

I washed my clothes by hand so I wouldn't feel like a complete bum anymore :D my hair had become a nest of straw, adorned with soap residue and dust (you can hardly get that damn soap out with cold water).

Then came the big news that we were moving to the volunteer house. The house was located outside the city in Katosi Village and I liked it from the beginning because it had a living room, a dining table, and I could make as much instant coffee as I wanted. There was no electricity in the house, but there was some solar power which was enough to charge phones and have light in the house. I had a room to myself again because, as we know, there were no other volunteers!

Well, I spent my time there in the house, because I couldn't really go anywhere alone. At least I had managed to get a Ugandan SIM card in the meantime and could communicate with friends in Germany.

The desire to leave the project grew in me. Tony and Henry told me every day that I would get to see all the small projects in the coming week and then I could choose what I wanted to do, but I already had a sneaking suspicion that there would be nothing for me to do. In all conversations with all sorts of people, I could hear that ultimately only donations were needed, a business plan had to be created, and a website had to be made. Sure, I can donate a little too, but I absolutely can't help with anything else. And they knew that beforehand.

By Monday noon, I was on the verge of tears again, the frustration was growing and my backpack still hadn't arrived.

Don't get me wrong, while I was feeling like this, I kept telling myself the whole time, 'This is all part of the experience. No matter how stupid you feel right now, you will grow from it. It could have gotten much worse. These are the situations where you have to struggle with yourself and make certain decisions that really push you forward, because life is not always easy and according to plan!'

So while I was sitting somewhere in the middle of nowhere, with no task, making funny faces to prevent myself from crying, with dirty clothes and hair, talking to myself, there was finally some joyful news. I had given up hope but there was actually a backpack appearing. You can't imagine how I jumped around, I really shouted for joy.

In the evening, we had to take a public bus (a small bus that can squeeze in around 20 people) to another town to pick up the backpack, but that was pretty cool!

In the evening, back in Katosi Village, I could hardly sleep. I was happy to have my things, but I kept thinking about whether I should leave the project. I felt dependent, unfree, and useless there. But of course, I had practically just arrived and had come to help, to make a difference, and didn't want to give up so easily. You can't always have everything go your way.

All these thoughts suddenly brought up some fears in me that I had struggled with as a child. (But don't worry, they quickly went away)

So I tried to meditate a bit and told myself to give it a few more days. And that's exactly what I did.