Tag 45: No Nuggets for Matthias

13.08.2016

The wilderness has taken hold of us. We recognize this for the first time when we open the camper door before our morning trip to the toilet and are not greeted by anything other than sun, red sand and untamed nature. And the fist of a boxing kangaroo.[1] Furthermore, the claim of actually having landed in the Outback is confirmed when trying to return to greener and inhabited areas, as this takes several hours. Actually, we want to tuck ourselves to Townsville on the coast to pick up a surfboard that I wanted to get through the Australian version of Willhaben - Gumtree. Unfortunately, my desperate attempt to enjoy cheap waves here fails miserably. So I'm looking forward to a week on overpaid rental boards along the Byron Bay area. Since nothing more attracts us to the coastal city, we take a different route that takes us directly to the gold mining town of Charters Towers. Since life in Australia is really anything but cheap, I am deep down convinced that I will find gold, as I have already been calling on all known higher powers to improve our budget for some time now.

After what feels like an eternity, we reach the only inhabited region in the surrounding area. It quickly becomes clear that we are not dealing with urban Australians here, but a collection of cowboys and Crocodile Dundees. The attempt to find something reasonably healthy to eat ends in a portion of fries, a giant hot dog and a burger. I find this quite appealing, but Gudi - or rather her stomach - rebels against the extremely fatty and anything but calorie-rich food. A visit to the supermarket gets us a dessert - twelve donuts. The consumption of half of the dessert triggers the most severe pain in the already troubled Gudi. I watch her in pain for a while and I'm not sure whether I should laugh at her, even though my innermost instinct advises me to pity the poor soul. This is not easy for me. It must be known that the aforementioned scenario may have reached its (temporary) climax today, but it is really nothing new. In general, after every other meal, Gudi swears off food in general and fatty food in particular, behaving like a groggy teenager who has just woken up. Since her good intentions usually last as long as those of various pubescent drunkards and I therefore see the groundhog greet me daily, continuously pitying her has become somewhat grotesque to me.

Anyway, after some time the situation calms down, primarily due to Gudi's insistence on a horizontal position. We make a second attempt and stroll into a pub. Unfortunately, I only stay there for about 30 seconds because it doesn't seem to be open in my opinion. Nevertheless, I perceive it as the most Australian place of my trip. A man with a cowboy hat (adorned with crocodile teeth) is trying to repair a rodeo bull (the machine, not the live animal) while an Aussie - obviously still left from the last night - uses a stripper pole to get somewhat vertical. Some cowboys sit at the bar, with their beards combined surely reaching the length of the filthy pool table - on which someone is sleeping off their drunkenness by the way - with ease. It is difficult for me to tear myself away from this place, but the smell that hits us leaves us hardly any other choice.

More or less by chance, we end up in the tourist information center. There we are charmed by a slightly older lady and on our escape from her, we discover that the rear area of ​​the house houses a museum. There I learn, to my disappointment, that gold mining in this area came to an abrupt end almost 200 years ago.

Frustrated because I couldn't find any nuggets, I try to persuade Gudi to visit McDonald's to at least get some kind of nuggets. Since Gudi is still suffering from overeating, I unfortunately end this day without any kind of nuggets.

Gudi's glorious laws:

Never write about Gudi's eating habits in a blog.

I formulate this law because I know exactly how my sweetheart will react to the depiction of her escapades. In principle, I hope to take the wind out of her sails to a certain extent by formulating it this way. Although I fully understand that she doesn't like to see such intimate details published, I still believe that this part of Gudi's behavior - I have never seen anyone who consistently violates their own eating resolutions - should definitely be preserved for posterity. Tomorrow I will probably upload a photo of my black eye. Well, you do what you have to for the documentation of truth.

-- Surprisingly, the good Gudi only laughed heartily at this report... good Gudi! --

[1] Humorous exaggeration of an otherwise true story