Congratulations, Elf!

October 4th

8:00 am. Today is a day for sleeping in. It's Freiday, which can be taken quite literally here in Jordan: it's the holy day in Islam, similar to Sunday for us. This morning, we only have to move from the hotel to our temporary Airbnb apartment for the next 11 days. After breakfast and packing, we say goodbye to Jihad, the friendly receptionist who never sleeps, and wait for Adib in our favorite spot in front of the Jordan Tower Hotel. Once again, he has offered to play shuttle service for us and take us and our belongings to our apartment.

On the way, we stop at a flower shop. This afternoon, a very special event awaits us: Bara'a will officially and traditionally be engaged and has spontaneously invited Rebecca, Sophia, and me to her engagement party. Now it's good to have Adib with us, who can tell the saleswoman in the flower shop exactly what we plan to do, and she prepares a beautiful white-pink flower arrangement for us. We now have a mid-day snack near our temporary apartment and then spontaneously go with Adib to buy a hookah - our rooftop terrace must be inaugurated properly. As always, it's useful to have a native Arabic speaker with us, so shortly after, we leave the store, slightly poorer by only 12.5 dinars, but all the more satisfied, with a hookah and all the accessories.

We can now move into our freshly cleaned Airbnb apartment and we are truly overjoyed: finally in our first "own" four walls, with a large window front in the kitchen & living room with a beautiful view of Old Amman, and a huge rooftop terrace. A dream come true. Rebecca and I freshen up, then we order an Uber with Sophia, who has also joined us by now, and make our way to Bara'a with our flower arrangement.

In the Uber, a little situational comedy. I sit in the passenger seat, buried under the white-pink flowers, and tell the driver joyfully that we are now heading to an engagement party. No reaction. I can already hear Sophia giggling behind me. I tell the driver that this may seem like arbitrary information to him, but I tell him anyway because we are so excited. Now he laughs a little too. I ask him if he has ever been to an engagement party. He shakes his head. I am surprised. "So we are making this experience before you make it! And we have only been here for 4 weeks!" Sophia can't stop laughing. I promise the driver that we will tell him everything about the party if we ride with him again, as we shortly thereafter reach the location Bara'a has sent us. We don't have a house number, but our driver stops deliberately in front of a house where some young men in fine suits are standing. When we get out of the taxi, one of them approaches us. I have never seen him before, but his face looks familiar to me. "You look like Bara'a's brother," I tell him. He sends us silently into the entrance of the building and tells us to take the right door. We ring the bell, and the door opens a little bit.

Curious eyes look at us. As the door opens a little more, I can already see Bara'a in the background. I only recognize her because I know that today is her engagement party. She is wearing a pompous glittering dress that looks like a red wedding dress and very elaborate makeup. For the first time, I see her long, beautiful dark hair. Bara'a is very happy to see us and we give her the flowers with "Elf Mabruk," which means "Thousand congratulations." The room we are in is no larger than 15 square meters. On the window side, there are two rows of chairs that are already completely occupied by women, so we are asked to sit on the adjacent couch. Arabic music is blaring from a huge sound system next to us, so loud that I have to bury my mouth in Rebecca's hair when I talk to her. We are first offered Arabic coffee, then Bara'a gets up and dances. We sit quietly in our seats until she comes and invites us to dance. All the women around us smile at us friendly while we each dance individually with Bara'a in the middle. When we sit back down, Knafe is passed around, an Arabic sweet treat, which we dutifully eat, until the next program point follows.

Two women bring Bara'a a cloak and a headscarf, with which she covers herself, and now only her pretty face is visible. This is the official part of the engagement, which Bara'a has already told us about: questioning and signing the engagement contract with the Sheikh, a kind of spiritual leader in Islam. The Sheikh will now ask Bara'a if she really wants to marry Ahmad, and she must sign a contract. Before the Sheikh enters the room, we notice that Bara'a is not the only one who has covered herself: since traditional Muslim women are not allowed to show their hair to anyone except their husband and closest relatives, everyone who previously had their hair uncovered (except for Ahmad's mother and sisters) now wears a headscarf. Bara'a disappears into a side room with the Sheikh and shortly thereafter returns under a traditional call from the women. She is now officially engaged according to Islamic customs.

Now the dancing resumes. On the dance floor, we see a woman with her hair still uncovered, and in her hand, she holds a tray with two rings. Bara'a's future mother-in-law, as we correctly assume. After some time, the climax of today's event. Bara'a disappears into the adjacent room again, and Ahmad enters the room.

A short explanation of what happened in the meantime in the other room with the men, as Bara'a told us beforehand: all the men, including Ahmad, sat together in one room and talked about the engagement. Bara'a's brothers must ultimately approve the engagement, after which all the men drink coffee together. Bara'a told us that coffee is something very important in the ceremony.

Now Ahmad is greeted loudly by all the women, then the great moment that we, sitting in the adjacent room, do not witness: he can now see Bara'a without a headscarf for the first time. Shortly afterwards, the two of them come into the room where we are sitting. They hold hands and the women once again let out their loud cheering. It is clear that they are still quite nervous. It feels a bit strange that the three of us, aside from Bara'a, are the only women whose hair Ahmad gets to see.

Bara'a now dances again in the middle, and you can see from Ahmad's radiant eyes how happy he is. When the song ends, they put the rings on their fingers, which they selected together in the previous week. This is followed by another dance, then they nod to each other, and Ahmad leaves the room. It was no more than five minutes in which Ahmad got to see his Bara'a.

Now comes the part of the engagement that I like the most: the women turn off the blaring music, whereupon Bara'a's mother briefly leaves the room and returns with a large drum. She now plays a pleasant rhythm on it, to which all the women sing with beautiful voices. Bara'a dances in the middle again. Her grandmother stands up, hugs her for a long, long time, and dances with her for a while. Truly touching. Bara'a's mother also has tears in her eyes, not for the first time today.

After this last program point, a few pictures are taken, also of us with Bara'a, then everything happens quickly: the first women say goodbye until we are almost the only ones left besides Bara'a's immediate family. We know that it is now time for us to leave as well. We say goodbye to Bara'a, her aunts, and cousins, who have taken care of us so lovingly throughout the afternoon. We feel incredibly honored to have been able to participate in this important and special day in Bara'a's life.

Back in our apartment, we set up our new hookah, fill it with tobacco that the seller in the hookah shop has made himself and mixed according to his own recipe, and then enjoy our first Hubbly Bubbly (that's what they call it here) in the seating area on our rooftop terrace. As expected, the view here at night of the sparkling Amman, including the fireworks that are often set off on Fridays, is simply breathtaking. Today was an incredibly perfect day.

The vocabulary:

Fish- سمكة

Feeling- حس

without- بدون

Seatbelt- حزام امان

Expensive- غالي