Week 21-22:

Toto

Haredin

Complaints, Closeness, and Negotiation

Counting the Omer

Five months

Toto

This week I celebrated my 10th birthday. They put a crown on my head, Ofri tugged at my tail, Tomer played the piano, and everyone sang: it's my birthday. How did I get such a paradise at my advanced age? When they put me in a cage and threw me into a flying trunk, I thought I was dead, and that this was the way to the light. When I finally came out of the cage, I couldn't tell if I had arrived in heaven or hell. Still, I managed to eat a few flute-like snacks and knock over a few trash cans in my life. Once I even ate the sushi that Tomer prepared for Mati and Michael for school (I woke up in the middle of the night and a plate full of sushi was just sitting there. What would you have done?). Soon enough, I realized I had reached paradise. Everything I could imagine came true at once - sun, sea, nature. The whole family is always home with me. For years I've been charming Tomer, come, sit, I'll do whatever he wants. I don't listen to anyone else. But he is a bunker, not even a smile. Suddenly he takes me running, cares for me, shows affection. Since we came to the new house in Colombia, I realized that this is the true paradise. The nature here is nothing like the nature in Israel; it's bursting with wild life. There are gardeners everywhere, but unlike in Israel where their job is to try to make something from the tough land, here their role is to restrain the land so it doesn't take over everything. I have an endless yard, practically my own forest. I don’t know why they took a house with a forest; they never go out to walk in it... I’m free to go wherever I want, but my forest is so vast that I haven’t gone to other places yet. I'm chasing after birds and squirrels, and there's not a single nasty cat around. Every day I’m taken for a walk in the neighborhood, and twice a week Tomer takes me running by the lake, recently Yola has joined the runs too. At first, I held back because the signs say no entering the water. But one day I saw dozens of small fish in the water. I remembered the fields of Ramat Hasharon and ran without thinking. I found myself swimming alone in the lake. Stupid humans... this whole lake is just for me. Since then, I get in without hesitation. My health has also improved since we got here. Back in the country, I was recovering from surgery on one leg and facing surgery on the other. I was suffering from endless ear infections and limping with Tovi all the way to retirement. Suddenly I lost weight, the fat turned to muscle, and I'm running like a reckless pup. The ear infections disappeared. Occasionally I recall Tovi, I miss him a bit, but those humans really exaggerate. They don't stop getting tangled up in the past and the future. The present is just perfect. On the other hand, if they weren't busy planning things, then we wouldn't have reached here... Thank goodness for them

Haredin

There are also bizarre holidays in schools in Colombia – small holiday extensions for them. They simply mark a national holiday in the calendar. In the coming month, there are three like this. Without justification, they simply add a day off at the end of the weekend. So last weekend was long, and we booked cabins with the glowworms at Haredin (garden in Spanish) - a small village about 4 hours south. We set off after school on Friday. We traveled for about 6 hours, most of the way at 20 km/h - even here there are traffic jams on the way to the cabin when the weekend starts. On the way to the cabin, Mati complained in advance about the upcoming future - why can't you ever take us to a normal place? The overwhelming force of nature that thrills Toto scares Mati, and it really is unavoidable unless you're in a mall. When we arrived, Mati saw a scorpion in the kitchen sink, I convinced him it was dead, he cooperated (the scorpion) but right after Mati entered the room with a door slam, he pulled out his pincers until brave Yola trapped it in a cup and threw it off the balcony. After that, Yael told me that at school, the kids collect scorpions in the yard and have scorpion races during breaks. We left the kids at the cabin and walked to the village. We wandered a bit and bought pizza to-go for the kids. We waited for the pizza and sat down to plan the next day. There’s some bird that needs to be seen, we can fish, maybe just stroll through the town. Yola suggested we go to the waterfall - a short walk in the mountains and a small freezing lake with a beautiful waterfall. The kids will probably complain about the trip, but it’s worth taking advantage of the momentum of the first day

The next morning, we set out on the trip. A half-hour drive along the mountainside and we reached the starting point. It seems that the trail is a bit longer than planned - 4.5 km each way, with tough climbs all the way. But contrary to the initial forecast, everyone woke up on the right side. We started walking, and all six kids wanted to go ahead, chatting among themselves. Ofri walked the whole way without complaining. We picked some raspberries along the way, and we reached the entrance to the lake. We pay to enter the reserve and walk about half a kilometer on a challenging descent path with sharp stairs, ropes, streams, and mud. All the way to a spring with a waterfall. It was perfect. We exited back from the reserve on the challenging path - this time uphill. I thought Ofri was tired and about to have a meltdown - but no, he ran all the way up. When we reached the top, I took out the drawing block. Ofri, Ma'ayan, and I sat and drew while the adults planned the next steps. So far it was perfect, but if we walk all the way back it will be a nightmare. We're all already tired, the way is long and we'll lose all we’ve gained against the kids during the trip. A quick negotiation with the jeep-taxi owner and we joined the group in the back. Adults on the benches, kids dangling outside, swaying side to side on the mountainside, they're happy and we're in a frenzy. A perfect ending to a perfect trip.

In the evening, there was a festival in the town, and we wandered among the food stalls, with Spanish music coming from every corner and from the central stage simultaneously. It's hard to find truly authentic experiences, and even good ones. Something about this village provided what was needed - touristy, but for the locals, joyful and full of people, but not overcrowded, feeling safe, but not sterile. The kids dashed between the stalls, we worried a bit when they disappeared for too long, but it was the usual worry of parents, not the fear that they'd be snatched by the mafia for ransom. Aside from that, I discovered the first Colombian dish that I really love - Arepa de Queso: A lump of cheese on the griddle with sweet sauce. It slightly resembles kanafeh, without the kadaif

The continuation of the trip went pleasantly. Paintball and playgrounds for the kids, a museum and birds for the adults, restaurants and street food. Everything that Haredin has to offer. The trip was crowned a success. And I even had a sort of hope that this could be a turning point for the kids. I talked about it with Zohar and he didn't really understand what I was talking about. I said that I was very frustrated about how hard it is for the kids. He thought about it for a moment and said that in all three years they’ve been here, the kids complained and it never really concerned him. He was busy with work and his own fun. I thought about this and replied that my job is family well-being - so you're the social worker? he said. Yes, and like every social worker, I'm not very relevant in the role

Complaints, Closeness, and Negotiation

So the weekend passed and the kids returned to a particularly short week of three days. I was sure that the uplifted mood from the weekend would spill over into the short week, but the complaints soon returned. Yola agreed with the older ones that when they find it hard at school, they would write in the notebook - what is hard and why, so we could try to understand a bit more. Since then, Mati has returned almost every day with a full notebook (so he claims, I didn't check) - again, I almost cried in class, I don't know why, it was just difficult for me. For some reason, I usually don't have the patience for this and it feels fake to me. The division of roles between me and Yola is clear - I easily embrace Ofri - hugging, making him laugh, encouraging, and dismantling objections, while she's with the older ones. She sits with Mati and Michael for hours encouraging them. This week I finally felt that I had the patience to listen to Mati, and what I said was significant for him. We had a few good conversations, but every good conversation always ends with a negotiation on improving terms... we reached a new and upgraded Fortnite agreement - he gets an extra day a week in exchange for joining swimming lessons twice a week. We attended two trial lessons - as with all previous attempts, this time it was really chaotic - a group of kids aged 10 to 14, boys and girls together, who simply swim back and forth. A bit embarrassing for Mati, but he came back with positive energy. Besides, for the sake of Fortnite, he’s ready to do quite a lot. Luckily, Mati is bad at negotiation; Ofri would get much more out of me for much less. After reaching the target, I moved on to Michael, the tougher nut to crack. I promised to match his brother's terms, but he hesitates. He will come to a training session next week and decide

Yesterday I washed the dishes and Shlomi Shaban's song