Wotae: 29.01.2024
We now went to Ninh Bình or Tam Cocc. A small town about two hours south of Hanoi and an absolutely unique place due to its rock formations. In the region surrounded by flatland, mountain ridges rise out of the jungle like the back scales of prehistoric Titans.
It was more than easy to imagine that an ever-increasing shaking was causing the ground to vibrate, while the bushes and the huge monstera plants rustled and the colorful birds flew skyward from the treetops with their foreboding. Then the rustling would stop and be drowned out by a deep and muffled bursting sound, while the supposed rocks slowly heave themselves out of the ground and huge chunks of rock fall onto the ever-deepening ground until the prehistoric giants, drunk with sleep, shake themselves awake and make noises thousands of years in their larynxes waiting to be screamed into the outside world. We had thought about organizing psylocibin-containing mushrooms, but you didn't need magic mushrooms to imagine this spectacle.
We spent our time there whizzing around on rickety bikes through this landscape, exploring caves and taking a boat tour that took us between the mountains. Malte and I in particular were really looking forward to our next destination, as the largest caves in the world were waiting for us there and a huge childhood wish was about to come true. Unfortunately, Eva was suffering from a cold during this time and wanted to stay in one place a little longer because Malta's and my fast travel style was simply too fast for her. Of course, Eva also wanted to see as much as possible during her vacation, but not at the expense of the joy of traveling. So from then on we tried to reduce the speed of travel a little, which had an effect on Eva after a few days.
As I write this a month later, I realize that at the moment I don't have much joy or desire to simply repeat all of these things chronologically to present them to the outside world. It was an incredibly nice time with the two of them, but it wasn't a time in which there was a lot of upheaval or development within me and since I always wrote the past posts out of the inner drive to consolidate my thoughts in writing and thus classify and process the impressions, The drive is missing here. I don't just want to give a report about my trip, which I perceived with my senses, but rather record the connection between the impressions and my thoughts in this "travel diary".
Maybe the lack of motivation is also due to the fact that I've missed the presence of the two of them and Lara quite a lot since they left and for the first time in a long time the feeling of homesickness is getting stronger and a recapitulation of their stay doesn't really improve the feeling.
Maybe that's the situation I'm in right now. Checking every day to see whether I have received an acceptance letter from the University of Mainz and therefore have to worry about my return journey soon or whether the odyssey will continue for another six months. It feels like sitting on hot coals at the moment. This uncertainty about the not-too-distant future is a different kind of challenge. I've been trying to get into this course for 4 years now, I've written my aptitude test, worked as a volunteer in Johanniter's disaster protection department for two years and at the same time completed a three-year training course in the hospital to increase my chances of getting a place at the university. 8 application processes, in which I was able to apply four times to all 38 universities and four times to 10 universities in the summer, gave me 192 rejections and 0 acceptances since my first application. Even if the obstacle to realizing my dream hurts, makes me sad and angry, it in no way leads to the need for resignation. The day I lose my ambition to go into medicine will not only be the day that I lose a career path, but one that destroys a part of me. Even though I am on my voyage and have no obligations and feel no internal pressure to deal with something specific, I have never lost the need to continue my medical education. Regardless of whether I read the reports of the expedition doctor Kemmler, study my Silbernagel physiology book, which Malte brought me especially from Germany, analyze ECGs on my cell phone or read about the tropical diseases that are present here, the desire to find out more and learn does not diminish, completely in my opinion Opposite. Only the realization of ignorance leads to the fact that you want to learn everything you don't know and this really stimulates your curiosity.
Maybe it sounds a bit exaggerated, but I will fight this battle for space to the bitter end, no matter how much this outdated and impersonal system prevents me from pursuing my passion. I don't even want to complete my studies now and that's why I'm complaining, I'm just trying to get started.
Nuuuuun yes... So much for that.
During the rest of the time, Malte, Eva and I definitely explored huge cave systems, sneaked into one secretly and without authorization, explored deep and pitch-dark cave passages with our headlamps, while the bats skillfully flew around us using their sonar sense, and climbed stalaknites up to our fingers capitulated. In addition to a fun New Year, we spent the last few days on the beach on Cat Ba Island. It was a perfect mix of relaxed beach lazing and long climbing sessions with Malte on the long and razor-sharp bays. When we couldn't take it anymore or the sharp-edged stones threatened to make our hands and especially our feet bloody, we simply jumped back into the sea and swam back to the coast.
When Lara came, we rented an Airbnb and spent a really nice evening with a lot of home-cooked food and a bathtub that was basically in the kitchen, in which Eva quickly took a bath while we cooked. It was painful to let Malte go the next day, but when Eva left I really realized that they were both gone now. Although I was incredibly excited about the next two weeks with Lara, I also cried when I said goodbye to Eva.
When I was on the road with Lara for two weeks, I repeated several activities that I had already experienced with Malte and Eva, but it was a lot different because of our relationship with each other. The time was a mixture of romantic kitsch, a lot of self-reflection, philosophizing about cultures, norms, values and feelings, adventurous experiences and breath-taking fits of laughter. It was a really nice time, but that's for another time :)