Tag 78: She has superpowers!

09/15/2016

In the morning, we leave Nelson. The ugly boy from "The Simpsons", after whom the city is obviously named, is not being kind to us today either, making the small town even more boring than usual. Even in the otherwise crowded "New World" supermarket - by the way, it's like my carrot that allows me to move from city to city - there's hardly anything going on. The supermarket chain is therefore a bait and a motivator for me because the range of terribly unhealthy, cholesterol-filled, and fatty food at low prices is refreshingly high. While Gudi regularly tries to find the cheapest salad Häupel that costs about $5, I stock up on chocolates and huge, relatively inexpensive Pizzaciabattas. So it has become a habit for us to stop at almost every branch to take a "break." Since I, as the driver, am entitled to such a break, Gudi, who has long since realized that I only use it as an excuse to consume even more unhealthy stuff, does not have much opportunity to oppose it.

After a breakfast consisting of five donuts and a huge porridge, I feel fit enough to head to the next supermarket. However, before that, I have to pass the Queen Charlotte Drive, a mountain road with many hairpin bends that is popular with tourists and offers magnificent views of the Marlborogh Sounds. Fortunately, the fjords here, also very famous, can be accessed from the beaches, so Gudi finds a place where we can even spend the night. With fantastic weather and mesmerizing views, the fitness freak among us, looking at the large, empty, and well-maintained grassland, is fully motivated to do her workout.

As for me, who is the true athlete of our duo, I have absolutely no desire to do it, but I still join in a bit. It may be because of the high intensity and my tendency to train beyond the pain threshold that I am completely exhausted after ten minutes. On the other hand, Gudi, who has been on the grass longer than me, is still hopping around like crazy. Just to avoid looking completely dumb, I persuade her to do a partner workout. In my eyes, clouded by exhaustion, I see sit-ups as a suitable activity to be performed on the ground. What a fatal mistake! My goodness, Gudi is fit, or am I just so out of shape? In any case, the female side of the fitness couple manages to perform not only aesthetically but also with a refreshing smile on her face. As for me, to be honest, I am already exhausted after a short time and from a distance, I probably look like one of the seals lying on their backs, trying to get up but failing miserably. Gradually, I have to give my girlfriend the respect she deserves and realize that she has a huge six-pack hidden behind her winter reserves.

My goodness, not long ago, I climbed the mountains of the Himalayas, and now I am exhausted after a few fitness exercises. Damned sea air! Exhausted and scraped all over my body (grass can bite pretty hard), I decide to quickly drop my pants and cool off in the sea since no one is around and I don't care anymore. So I wade into the surprisingly not so cold water. After some time, still feeling more than exposed, I have to admit that this section of the coast at best resembles Lake Neusiedl. So I may have walked fifty meters completely naked, but I am still only up to my knees in mud and a little bit of saltwater. Frustrated, I wade back and also have the honor of being shamelessly stared at by a few passersby. The only positive thing about it is that, due to the previous exertion, my muscle tone now corresponds to that of a young god.

In the camper, I meet Gudi, who has surely found a better solution to the washing process than me and instead of dirty and stale saltwater, used a bucket with a little tap water. Like the last remaining humans, we wash each other, and the longing for civilization and domestic, urban life is growing stronger in me after almost two months of camping.

Gudi's glorious laws:

Buy whatever you want, but I keep track of everything and we settle up in the end.

Penny-pincher! We have taken stock in between, and I am on the verge of setting up a donation account for my binge eating. It's fascinating how much money can accumulate through senseless gobbling. Gudi has been aware of this from the beginning, which is why she keeps meticulous track of our "shared" money - this point goes to her.