The final boss (level 34)

Phew - good thing I took notes that day....so let's start from the beginning:

Declared goal: Armorique National Park

As always, in the morning I sat down behind my laptop with a cup of coffee and searched for the exact location I wanted to go to. Not so easy with 122000 ha of land. Well, I thought to myself, just start in the center and then see where to go. Entered it into Maps and it turned out that it's closed on Saturdays. (Totally sensible...who goes on outings on weekends anyway. Of course they only open during the week.....) Well, now the question was: WHAT is closed now? The park? Don't people live in there ?!? (Curfew on weekends??) Or just the location that Maps showed me? After much back and forth, I decided to drive to a mountain in the national park. Here I should be able to hike well and the French probably won't close mountains (hopefully). After about 1.5 hours drive, we arrived there unharmed. On the way, we even saw the smallest 30 km/h zone I have ever driven through (only ONE house long....someone special must live there...) Now the problem arose - where to park? There was only heathland but no parking spaces. Yeah funny internet - how do you hike here then??? Arrival by plane or what?? After a long search, I eventually got annoyed and decided to leave the boring landscape behind and drive to the 'closed' destination. I'm getting more and more confident in driving serpentines (poor Teewurst...) but it was getting later (even though we were up early thanks to a liter of cider the night before!). So we arrived at the supposedly closed place. Of course, it was open. Maps probably meant some tourist office but that's for beginners ;) We started at 21 °C. When I opened the door here, a hammer hit me in the face. The thermometer showed me 30.5° C. Okay - I wasn't aware that apparently we had left several climate zones behind us.... Anyway, the goal here was a river estuary so let's go...only problem was that I always arrive here at low tide! And a dry riverbed is really ugly. No, I thought. Not like this. So I looked again at Maps and continued. Rather drive another 30 minutes than watch algae dry. So back in the car (sorry Teewurst...) and off we go again. The last section was really nice to drive. We passed (liquid) rivers (that crossed each other) and drove over a really impressive bridge.

This time even without tolls ;) However, thunderclouds were slowly moving in and I was just praying that it wouldn't go completely wrong today.....well, no risk no fun, so let's keep going!

Arrived, parked the car, started walking! (Teewurst was also close to thrombosis...) I looked for the rough orientation to the sea on Maps and off we went. However, by now my bladder was really making itself known and I sprinted straight into the next café. There, the 'nice' lady asked me if I planned to eat or drink something. When I said no, she showed me the public toilets around the corner.....well I claim I don't get grossed out easily (see the day when snails found their way into me....) but ON THAT??? (Next to the door for the 'ladies toilet' there were - public! - urinals.) Only over my dead body. I would rather eat 3 kg of snails again but I won't get a STD here! But my bladder didn't care at all and so my pace became more and more frantic and I became more and more desperate. Until I eventually jumped into some hedge in a garden (sorry to the residents but I couldn't hold it anymore...). Teewurst also looked at me as if I was nuts....

We continued towards the sea. And it was steep downhill. I already prayed that I wouldn't have to go up again later.....

Arrived at the sea, I followed the adjacent road. 

Unfortunately, it went uphill again....at 30 °C.....and there was nowhere for Teewurst to be allowed 

So: coffee break after 2-3 hours was replaced by a water break after 1 hour. God, it was hot. Wind? None. Teewurst was now using his tongue to clean the sand off the floor....so back to the next café. 

After we had both gotten some fluids, I wanted to pay. Well, that wasn't so easy. Nobody could change money here....the whole staff was gathered and still nobody could change it. 'Well then just come back in 3 hours.' Huh? I don't live here?! I don't even have a plan where I'm going right now??? In the meantime, someone else had arrived, who apparently knew the owner of the café quite well and this lady had (finally!) enough money to change. I've never experienced that before. How do the guests pay there??? Do they all go out on the street and sing??? Wash dishes? Dance in the kitchen with the cook???? Strange people here.....but we're getting off topic! In the café, I looked at what sights (related to the coast) could be seen here and as fate would have it, the next viewpoint was right around the corner. Great! Let's go!

Well.....only that a viewpoint is usually (because of the view....) elevated...hmm...'elevated'...no one mentioned a ski slope in the Internet....so Teewurst in tow up there....he can run up there like a gazelle (even though his tongue is getting longer and longer). I thought I would collapse....because of the temperatures, of course....(good thing the houses here are so beautiful and you have to stop every few meters to 'look at' them...yeah, the blog needs photos, right?) Once at the top, there was a shitty cross with some beautiful flowers in front of it.

If THAT wasn't worth it! But what did I discover on the march uphill? Right-our beloved-never boring- GR 34! 

And it continued behind the cross. 

Really good! Just take a deep breath and continue...10 m...20 m...uuum....ok the path so far had never been boring but the way it was developing here and where it was developing to somehow didn't feel safe to me. If you fall here, you die here. Nobody can pass here....no, that was too uncertain for me. 

Rather turn back....so I turned around....and ran into two elderly ladies. That came really handy. Although no one spoke English, I made it clear to the two ladies that I would have to follow them for this piece in order to secure my assisted suicide. So I'm going to describe the way like this: My chucks gave me some thoughts.....but one of the two ladies was wearing white strap sandals!!! (I'm still laughing while writing this....) Well okay, then I can handle the way three times. So we let the two ladies go ahead and watched the show. Lady A (in running shoes) helped Lady B (severely overweight and wearing said sandals...) from stone to stone...to stone....to stone (wearing the wrong shoes, huh??)....all at a pace that made Teewurst slightly restless. At some point, I got fed up and went ahead. Google Maps, my friend and helper, showed me the way. The ladies didn't know the direction and now followed me the whole time. We stopped at every bend and then waited politely. The only problem was that the way really got worse and worse. The following happened:

-unpaved/ no paths, directly at the cliffs (Teewurst wanted to kill me again....)

-signs warning of poisonous snakes

-signs warning of falling down

-signs warning of falling rocks

-tree trunks and fallen rocks that had to be overcome, directly next to the cliffs etc.

Well, I don't have a fear of heights but at a certain point, I really got scared and dizzy....of course, right in the middle of the way.....well Hanna....'take deep breaths. YOU HAVE TO continue here'....and pay attention to the two ladies behind you......damn - I had lost them again. So back again....'it's gonna be alright Teewurst, we can do it!!!' Teewurst had the time of his life and I already saw myself buried up at the cross. Was I sweating because of the heat or because of panic??? Whatever, just keep going....always further....no Nivus, you're not running ahead....at my siiiiide.....that's a good boy.....and further....Nivus, HEEL!.....here you could really see beautiful bays with crystal clear water but at some point these fascinated me not so much anymore as at the beginning...

Poor Teewurst, I never stopped talking at some point to distract myself and the poor thing didn't understand the world anymore....but eventually we made it!!! The turnoff uphill, away from the cliffs. Steepness of 45° ??? WHO CARES!!! Ha, no problem! Just get out of here!!! So climb up and don't look down, no you're not dizzy....Teewurst, WAAAIT!....once at the top, I unfortunately noticed the steepness....but the sign with the venomous snakes convinced me to keep going. Out of the jungle (I'm still talking to myself) I met two other hikers my age who were taking a break there. He just looked at me, ran frantically to his backpack and rushed towards me with a water bottle. Me - completely out of breath - because fear of death doesn't contribute to a calm breathing - wasn't thirsty. I then made it clear to him with hands and feet that I'm just glad to still be alive and that I had water with me...and who would voluntarily hike this path...and that I had never been so happy to see people and and and.....(those two must have thought I was completely nuts but I really didn't care!)

Completely exhausted, I thought it was enough for today with hiking and made my way back to the car. I realized that I had parked so incredibly smart that a round trip of less than 50 km wouldn't have been possible. But anyway - we were alive - so I'm okay with walking 4 km twice. Just had a little break by the sea....

And guess who was coming towards us? A Teewurst lookalike. I had never seen one here and as often as I get asked about Teewurst, this breed is not common here either. Teewurst's owner and the Teewurst doppelgänger's owner looked at each other with a knowing, pitying smile and continued on their way....and the path became steeper and steeper and steeper - at 30 °C....you can't imagine how many beautiful houses suddenly appeared...at some point every second house was really BEAUTIFUL (and a reason to stop...).

Do you remember the steep uphill? Now it was in front of us...the passing cars must have thought that I was close to heatstroke...but still going....by now the sweat was running down my back....even Teewurst was lying down whenever I stopped (to inspect houses). I couldn't breathe with my mouth open because cars were coming towards us all the time....just before the end of my strength, we actually made it! Only 10 more minutes to the car....without an incline....Teewurst just walked at my side and licked the floor with his tongue again....and then it suddenly appeared in front of us: MY CAR!!!! I would have loved to throw myself on the hood and hug it. But we were in the LIDL parking lot and since I didn't feel like straitjackets, I left it at that....and then it hit me like scales falling from my eyes....I had forgotten the two elderly ladies!!! Oh damn......! (Sorry you two - I hope you survived.....)

By now, I was hungry enough for ten people and Maps showed me that we would be home in 2 hours. No way, not gonna make it. I would starve by then....ah wait a minute....Brest was still on my list and much closer! So looked up a restaurant on Google and off we went! Brest is really a beautiful city, although I only drove along the harbor (otherwise I would have arrived home even later) but what I saw there, I really liked. Lots of art, beautiful bridges, a nicely laid out harbor etc. Unfortunately, it's difficult to take photos while driving a car.

In Brest, I first walked along the harbor to see if I could also eat something there. 

But since everyone there was all dolled up (compared to myself covered in dirt up to my knees, hands black, sweaty as hell), I decided to go to the restaurant I had previously found. 

It wasn't directly in the bougie scene and was still completely empty. Arriving there, I just collapsed on a bench outside. Opposite me sat a few people who later turned out to be the restaurant owner and employees. So I sat there and waited and waited....and....waited....and waited....at some point the people from the neighboring table disappeared and I got fed up. So I barged in and asked if it was somehow possible to get something to eat here. The man who had seen me sitting outside now greeted me friendly and said that it was of course no problem at all. (Huh??? He had just seen me sitting outside, what did he think I was doing there?? Learning how to crochet???) Well never mind. Then, due to hunger, I just took the smallest menu and thought I would be surprised. Since I was making notes about the day the whole time (otherwise I forget half in the evening), the employees and the owner eventually thought that I was a restaurant critic. From that hour on, I didn't have a 3-second break between courses anymore and the chef also sprinted out every time to see if everything was really alright. I laughed so hard inside and yet eventually felt sorry for the people. At some point, the chef really had pure panic in his eyes but my notes weren't finished yet....

Since I was sitting outside, we couldn't escape all the honking cars. At some point, a French guy with a flag on his back and a six-pack of beer in his hand jumped into a half-moving car next to me and that was also the moment when I realized that France obviously had to have won today. Good thing I didn't eat in the trendy district....

But back to the menu. Starter (homemade and probably of high quality): Pâté.....came close to snails. With 1 cm of hot mustard on top (which led to the cider being empty quite quickly) it was bearable (half of it went to Teewurst). I think it consisted only of offal and was absolutely not my thing.

Main course: With a lot of mustard (with mustard sauce and mustard dressing), but great. The steak was cooked perfectly.

Dessert (I almost burst): Sorbet (always good)

Afterwards, home and away from the drunk French people. We drove past a bay (30 minutes from us) that happened to be in the sunset. Of course, I had to stop and take photos!

So that's it for now from yesterday...I hope you made it to the end ;)