A Korean mom

Vocabulary of the day:

수레국화 (su-reh-gu-kwah) cornflower

A brief history

It has already leaked out in one place or another that I have a Korean girlfriend. We met online four years ago, have been in regular contact since then, have seen each other in real life twice now, and if it weren't for her, I would have been completely desperate several times on this trip. Not only did she introduce me to the boyfriend in her hometown of Yongin, she also arranged a date with her mom - and that took place on Wednesday!

I was sooo looking forward to this meeting! By the way, Jiyeon's mom even invited me to her house for a trip followed by a barbecue, but unfortunately that time clashed with my already booked trip to Sockho.

The Wednesday

Wednesday started with my very last private lesson, which both my teacher and I were really sad about. To celebrate the day, we just chatted, she had picked out a few topics and it was just so much fun again. I wish I could just do an hour of conversation training every day. But then the two hours were unfortunately over and we said goodbye.

And then the long-awaited Wednesday evening arrived. In bright sunshine, I set off for Gangnam again, very early to avoid rush hour as much as possible. (It worked semi-well.) When I arrived at the meeting point, I wanted to buy some flowers. Unfortunately, the flower shop I had chosen was already closed. But I did see a fat cockroach in the department store... Yuck! 🪳

Unfortunately, I arrived at the meeting point empty-handed. I hope I'm allowed to write this publicly, but Jiyeon's mom is so incredibly kind and sweet! And totally enthusiastic about everything to do with plants and nature, so it immediately felt a bit like home.

First we went out to eat (Vietnamese) and then we went for a walk along the Yangjaechon river. Although I have been to Gangnam several times now, it looked completely different here. "You can tell that it's a rich neighborhood," said Jiyeon's mom quite aptly. So much green, quiet streets and great, tall, old trees that you can completely forget that you are in a metropolis.

We had a great conversation, in Korean and with the help of hands and feet and a translation app and very crazy descriptions. For example, I didn't know the word for "nun" and explained it like this: "The people who work in the church and are married to God". 😄 But at least I can help myself that much now!

After the walk we went to a supermarket because she really wanted to buy me some snacks and drinks. I had to really slow her down so that it wouldn't be too much because I either had to eat everything before Friday or take it with me to the south. We then sat on a bench with an ice cream and later walked to the subway, where we parted ways after I had to promise to call from Busan. What a wonderful, happy evening!

I think you might have sensed from my stories that hospitality in Korea is something very special. And I would also like to tell you a little bit about Korean culture, if you're interested. If not, you can stop reading here, the daily report is over.

Jeong

Fun fact: While our society is more individualistic (everyone does their own thing and nobody interferes), Korea's society is more collectivistic. The foundation of coexistence here is the idea of shared social responsibility. This is also reflected in the word (uri - our), which is used here in connection with many things where in Germany one would use "my": instead of my country, my mom, my home, one says our country, our mom, our home.

A mother not only raises and protects her own child, but all children. Care and hospitality here mean inviting, naturally paying for everything for the other person (and rigorously repelling any attempt by the other person to reciprocate), asking questions with concern and always respecting the other person's needs, asking a thousand questions and wanting to know everything, and giving a thousand pieces of advice. There is even a word for this caring attitude: 정 (Jong).

For someone who isn't familiar with it, it can seem very overwhelming and sometimes even feel like an invasion of privacy. And I can remember situations, especially in exchanges with my Korean ex-in-laws, that felt uncomfortably intrusive. But in a world where individual freedom can also feel very lonely, this collectivist social structure is also something that can totally support you and give you a feeling of security and safety.

Even though I know that in the long run I would despair at the lack of limits to my individual freedom and the sometimes strict, hierarchical rules of socializing here, I appreciate that for the short time of my trip, Korea welcomes me into its warm 정 embrace and repeatedly gives me moments that feel so precious.