End of the Road Trip

Ku kandziyisiwile: 10.11.2017

Sooo, once again I retrospectively report about the experiences of the road trip, now that I am back in civilization with internet access. 

I hope that from now on I can report 'live' about my experiences again.


Our road trip continued from the north of New Mexico to the south of New Mexico. As beautiful as the landscape on the way was, sometimes everything seemed endless to us and we had the impression that we would never reach the south. After Albuquerque, New Mexico's largest city, there was nothing but highways through nature. 

Endless expanse during the drive
Endless expanse during the drive


Every now and then there was a small truck stop or tiny mini villagers to stop at. Otherwise, just infinity... and occasionally the need to stop because of animals on the road or particularly beautiful scenery.

The turkeys are still alive... until Thanksgiving is over ;)
The turkeys are still alive... until Thanksgiving is over ;)
Deer by the side of the road
Deer by the side of the road


And believe me, a road trip can do a lot to you. When you're sitting in the car, admiring the beauty of the landscape, feeling the huge freedom and flexibility through the car, and having endless time to think, a lot of emotions come up. From the happiest feelings of freedom, when you feel gigantic, to long-repressed negative experiences that suddenly come up due to the lack of everyday distractions, to questions that address the meaning of existence as a whole. You just can't escape in the car, distracting yourself from yourself while driving is not possible. In addition, the direct proximity of nature and the absence of civilization mean that you completely concentrate on the essentials in life instead of dealing with everyday problems. 

Endless expanse for contemplation
Endless expanse for contemplation


And when you learn a lot about yourself, sometimes you have to change your direction and live according to the new insights. Petra and I did exactly that after we arrived in southern New Mexico. Actually, our trip was supposed to end in Las Vegas. But after the first night of our road trip in Vegas, Petra and I had seen enough of the city and decided to change our plan and not head to Vegas anymore. 
The beauty of nature on our way
The beauty of nature on our way

For Petra, it was important to cover as much distance as possible in a short time, without having much time to stop and enjoy nature. On the other hand, it became clear to me that the whole thing is sometimes too fast for me and I prefer to enjoy things at a slower pace, but more intensely. Furthermore, each of us was so preoccupied with our own problems during these intense days that it was difficult for us to understand each other. After some minor disagreements between us, I decided to embrace the motto: 'Life is what happens while you are making plans' and fully embrace the adventure of life in southern New Mexico, and to exit the road trip earlier than planned. And that was a brave step for me: because I ended up in the middle of nowhere in a small town in New Mexico, without knowing how to get away and where my further journey would lead me. As tough as this moment was and as much as I was confronted with my deepest fears of exiting the road trip early and being alone in the middle of nowhere: it was the right decision. As beautiful as it was to travel together with Petra, it was also important for both of us to realize when it was better for us to go our separate ways. Sometimes you just need time for yourself to deal with your problems. Everyone travels at their own pace, and in order to do that, you sometimes have to distance yourself from others.
 Of course, this distancing can easily lead to loneliness, especially in the middle of the southern New Mexico outback. And at this point in my journey, I realized once again that finding a balance between time just for myself and time spent with other loved ones is a huge challenge for me in life. Those who live in a partnership, have close friends, maintain an intense relationship with their family, and still have enough time to find themselves and do things for themselves, deserve my utmost respect. I often still feel that you have to choose either one or the other. However, New Mexico tried to teach me otherwise. Thank God I found a cafe with WiFi that I dragged myself and all my luggage to, hoping that the good internet would have a solution for me as to where my journey would go next and where I would find a place to sleep. And even though I thought I had my panic at least somewhat under control, a waitress came up to me and said she couldn't bear to see how sad I looked. It was incredibly sweet how concerned she was about me. After I briefly explained my situation to her, she was so unbelievably nice to ask her boss for a shortened shift. This young woman actually finished work early to somehow help me out of my precarious situation. Still unbelievable kind to me! Even though Mercedes, the waitress, hardly knew me, she took me to her home. Together, we discussed all the possibilities until I realized that a journey to Phoenix would probably be the best for me. When our accommodation and bus to Phoenix were booked, I already felt much better. However, since the bus to Phoenix from the outback only left at night, it was not even a question for Mercedes to drive me to the bus and spend the day with me until then. Incredible!!! We walked through the desert together, cooked, and went swimming.
Autumn colors in New Mexico
Autumn colors in New Mexico
 
I met Mercedes' partner and they told me more revealing things about American culture. How can one be so nice and helpful?! It remains unbelievable to me... And when I think back, I almost feel ashamed of being trapped in my little problem in the outback and not knowing how to get away. After getting to know Mercedes better, it turned out that she was only 20 years old and in her 8th month of pregnancy. Her parents and her future in-laws were in favor of an abortion. However, Mercedes and her partner want to keep the child, so both sets of parents turned their backs on them. Mercedes' friend (28) just completed his master's degree at university. He could actually start earning money for the little family, but he is unable to work due to depression. An insurance policy that would pay them something in such cases does not exist in the US, of course. Mercedes is currently studying dentistry, but she can hardly manage her studies because she has to work many hours to support herself and her partner. When the baby is born in December, she wants to take a whole 2 weeks off before continuing her studies and work to support the family. Financial support from her family or the government is excluded. In addition, there are debts that the young couple has to repay. Studying in the US is incredibly expensive, the tuition fees are extremely high. So, in Germany, we are really in the promised land... As beautiful as Mercedes and her partner's 1-room apartment was designed: just 1 room with a baby, in which you still want to focus on a demanding course of studies like dentistry? For me, that is absolute madness, but of course the two of them don't have the money for a larger apartment. One could really title the situation of this warm-hearted couple as a 'problem'. Compared to that, my 'I don't know where to sleep tonight' problem is a joke. The next time I have a panic trip like this, I will try to make it even clearer to myself how good I actually have it. For me, it still remains completely unclear how a couple with as many future worries as Mercedes and her partner could accept my little problems with so much love... Madness! However, they showed me that you can trust life: there is always some solution and loving people who help you can be found anywhere, no matter how remote. 

So today has already passed my 2nd day in Phoenix. I'm very glad to have landed in this great, warm city. But enough for today, more details from Phoenix will come soon :)
 
Nhlamulo

USA
Swiviko swa maendzo USA
#pampa#alleinereisen#angstkonfrontation#newmexiko