Ku kandziyisiwile: 06.03.2024
I don't even know how to start this article. I got drunk for the first time and had the time of my life. Before I left Germany, I had already imagined how I would get my acceptance letter to university on the way and how I would really go party that day and feel really good strulli for the first time. When the day actually came, I had a wonderful evening, but it wasn't a real 'party' in that sense. When I casually told Jess and Wiley that I'd never been drunk and that we wanted to go out either way, we realized at the same time that tonight would be the perfect time. Like an excited little child, I drank my first espresso martini and started the bar tour with the two nice Canadian women. With every beer we laughed, reeled and shared more private stories about ourselves. It was a great evening and at the end Jess and I sat for two hours and talked about... sort of everything. To be honest, I don't really know anymore because the cocktail, the 5 beers, 2 shots and the rice wine clouded my consciousness. All I know is that at that moment I was convinced I was having the deepest and best conversation I've ever had, while we were probably babbling drunk.
Strangely enough, without a hangover, I headed off to my Thai massage course the next morning. I felt great. I had a wonderful last few days, I liked Jess, just heard a really good new song from a playlist she made for me and went to the long-awaited Thai massage course. When I arrived at the address, I quickly realized that the Thai massage center was actually the owner's rather run-down private home. From the first sight I loved her. 70 year old Timmy with her gentle and satisfied grin, her career as a DJ and then as a masseuse and her unique way of saying "okeeeee" when she liked something. She taught me for three days in areas such as foot, leg, arm, hand, back, shoulder and head massage and cooked me an incredibly delicious lunch each time. I already know that I have a reason to come back to Thailand and that's just to see this dear old woman again and ideally to help her prepare her property. Now I've finally learned this new skill and I'm really looking forward to choosing "victims" on whom I can train to deal with it more confidently, although I believe that it's a sacrifice that one doesn't mind making.
However, my thoughts about Jess became a little more muddled (cool new neologism) as I felt that her expressed feelings and thoughts were inconsistent with her actions and realized that she wasn't as interested in spending time with me as I was with her. I felt a little insecure and just longed for open communication, but also realized that her nonverbal communication was actually enough to make me realize that I was giving more to this acquaintance than I was getting in return. So I just told her openly that out of fear of developing more feelings, which in this scenario would bring more suffering than joy, I would prefer to just stay friends. From that moment on, when I simply expressed my current emotional state and we both got up to date and honest about each other's feelings, my mood and self-confidence increased and we chatted more again.
I showed her a knotting technique for the hammock, which I left to her, and several people went to a drag queen show, which had a really good stage performance, choreography and humor. We all had a really unexpectedly beautiful and funny evening with wild costumes and since I don't normally drink alcohol, but still had to pay a minimum value of 7€ for a drink, I bought the most expensive 0.33l of water in the world :D Jess and I said goodbye us for now. For now I say because she has family in Trier and is coming to Germany in 2½ months to go on a longer bike tour and she's coming to my place so I can lend her the right equipment. I really like the idea, although there is still a certain skepticism about whether we will really see each other again.
Sometimes you see the world in bright colors, and sometimes just in dark colors.
With Jess's farewell came the completion of the Thai massage course. I've really taken the little old Thai girl into my heart and I'm really looking forward to trying out my newly acquired skills!
Now it was time: the last stop of the journey.
I wanted to spend the last two weeks doing the Open Water Course and the Advanced Diver Course and then spend a few more days diving into the colorful and species-rich coral reefs of Thailand with my fresh diving license. On the way to the island of Koh Tao, where I wanted to do my diving course, I had to spend a day in Bangkok and got my first impression of the absurd world of this city. In addition to the wonderful murals of the great palace and Wat Pho, Bangkok also offers one of the most absurd and diverse nightlife there is. Between extreme sex tourism, strip clubs and shows where the 'artists' demonstrate what they can shoot or get out of their vaginas, you can also find theaters with western classics and underground techno clubs. I spent the day with Sudejj, a Turkish woman who I met on the bus ride and found friendly. She was a trained child psychologist and gave up her job two years ago to become a tattoo artist and explore her artistic side. Together we sweated ourselves to the point of dehydration in the Bangkok heat and both ate fried snake, crocodile and scorpion that evening. I have to say that apart from the crocodile meat, I can't really recommend any of them, which is mainly because they are more tourist attractions than traditional dishes.
Thailand (or a large part of Thailand) sometimes has such a large tourism industry that entire towns no longer contain any culture, but only offer Western-oriented services and you get strange looks when you say thank you in Thai. Since I came to Thailand with the two main intentions of Thai massage and diving, this time it didn't bother me so much not to come into contact with traditional Thai culture, because it is also in the places where I am currently and will be is simply not possible. Nevertheless, it leaves an unpleasant aftertaste when you see how people who once had their own culture and way of life have become dependent and compulsory as a result of tourism that is sometimes morally reprehensible, so that individuality and authenticity are lost by satisfying ruthless and inefficient needs had to give way to Europeans.