Jungle vibes & marine life on Koh Chang

Sawadeekha

or as they say in Berlin

'hello'

It's 6.45.

Tatti is still fast asleep and I'm going to start writing down what we've been up to these days.

I know, you're already excited... ;)

Currently, I'm sitting on our terrace, watching the sun move past the clouds.

As the yellow ball gets bigger, I blink wearily and the abundance of green makes me grin foolishly, I'm already on my second good morning Coke.

Surrounded by lush vegetation, I still can't quite believe how lucky we are to be here.

If this were Instagram, I'd probably throw a hashtag like #blessed under the picture.

And well, maybe it's not just luck... No, I spend weeks researching accommodations, leaving nothing to chance.

Anyway, it's totally mind-blowing here.

Exclamation mark

I'm actually at a loss for words to describe what I can see, feel and smell.

Beside me, our very own fucking Jacuzzi is bubbling, and today we will definitely take a little or big dip in it.

End of the intro.

Now I'm thinking about where I left off in my last blog. 🤔

I think it was the journey to the island, right?

Alright, what can I say? It was only 1 hour from Bangkok to Trat.

So the flight went by in a flash.

Then a even shorter ferry ride.

In between, 2 taxi rides and we were on (for me) the most beautiful island in Thailand.

KOH CHANG.

The Elephant Island.

It may sound strange, because it's only my 3rd visit here. (maybe even the 4th.)

But I actually had a tiny bit of the feeling of 'coming home'.

Everywhere there's this dense jungle, the sounds, the heat, just the whole feeling.

Koh Chang is actually 85% jungle and it's even more original than most other islands in Thailand.

If you haven't experienced it yet, let me tell you:

You've missed out on a lot.

When the pick-up truck dropped us off at our first accommodation here, we were stunned.

Most of you already know this awesome infinity pool from our pictures.

With this breathtaking view.

Maybe the most amazing view on Koh Chang.

I don't want to show off (yes, I do), but I've already stayed in many incredible accommodations, but this one...

Wow.

Speechless.

It was already quite late when we arrived.

'Relatively' late, because the sun sets here at around 6 p.m. and then it's really pitch dark.

Not still twilight like we know it.

No, it's really pitch black.

Pitch black like my beloved Coke.

Apart from eating, drinking and chilling, there wasn't much else we could do.

Don't forget, Bangkok still had quite an impact on us...

It was already between 9 and 10 p.m.

'Hey Tatti, do you feel like taking a walk in the jungle?'

'um. No?!'

'if I were you...'

So we put on our flip-flops and set off... Well... Where to actually?... Doesn't matter!

Of course, we knew that there was nothing but jungle around us.

That even the closest resort felt like it was 2 hours away.

But hey.

No risk - No story.

Hmm?

It was really pitch black.

The sounds, which already seemed strange during the day, were just creepy at night.

Your whole body on high alert.

Alertness.

Ready for anything. (or not)

We just walked straight ahead.

At least I did.

Tatta walked uncertainly beside me and nervously shone her flashlight to the left and right.

It was very very exciting, people.

With the animals constantly on my mind, which could potentially encounter us, I tried to act cool, while the little hooligan next to me made no secret of the fact that she didn't feel comfortable.

But I wanted to keep going.

I don't know where this death wish in me comes from, but I love constantly pushing (myself and others) to the limits.

So we kept walking.

Further and further into the darkness of the rainforest.

Suddenly a bark from far away.

We walked on unaffected (hihi little joke).

The barking came closer.

And so did we.

Our steps became unsteady. (only Tatti's of course)

The barking got louder.

And it was coming from two different directions.

Was that several dogs now?

Plural???

Of course, I would never admit it, but when Tatjana said in a determined, demanding voice:

'We turn around. We go back to the hotel. NOW.', I was almost relieved.

Decision made.

;)

'Don't turn around, Tatti.'

'They are after us.'

I repeated:

'Don't turn around and for heaven's sake, don't walk faster.'

Tatjana (of course walking faster) turned around every 3 seconds and nervously shone her flashlight into the barking mouths coming towards us.

All we saw were the reflecting eyes in the darkness, rushing towards us in a panic.

They just wouldn't leave us alone.

It was another brilliant idea of mine.

Because I'm famous for that, by the way.

I can't say how many turns we had to make until we couldn't hear anything anymore except for our pounding hearts.

And how relieved we... (uhm I mean Tatjana) were when we finally arrived at the safe accommodation.

Luckily, there was beer in the minibar.

We were able to compensate for our shock quite well in the end. ;)

The next day, the two island monkeys rented a scooter and explored Koh Chang.

__________________________________

After a successful start on the island, we felt like having a few drinks.

And before you say anything:

Of course we can have fun without alcohol, but better safe than sorry. 😝

Random info:

We were almost the only guests at the resort.

And there were a few other bungalows nearby.

We knew that there was no one else living there, so things got a bit louder and lasted longer than originally planned that night. 🤫

I'll spare you the details.

Just this much:

There were electric shocks, frog queens, somersaults, vibrating speakers, nocturnal dances in the meadow, and lots of alcohol. 😁

Slightly confused and slightly hungover again, I left the bed after 3,4 hours and went to the water.

As I looked back at the bungalow, I heard a lady sitting directly above us on her balcony, feeling slightly embarrassed.

Oops. So we weren't alone after all. (and thought, hopefully she hadn't seen me)

It's a miracle she didn't complain that night, because she was involuntarily a 'guest' at our party.

Well, maybe she actually enjoyed what we were doing.

But it was a bit uncomfortable.

(really just a bit)

_____________________________

The next day was supposed to be a chill day.

I finally wanted to write the Bangkok blog and splash around in the pool.

I did the latter. Unfortunately, something got in the way of the former. Or rather, SOMEONE.

Suddenly another group of tourists appeared.

Men, a woman, and 2 children.

1st thought: Maaan, no desire for it.

It got worse when one of the gentlemen (of course, as can be expected - the LOUDEST and DRUNKEST) made his way towards us.

'Hey ladies. Where are you from?'

'you can speak German with us.'

(we already knew that he was a countryman)

He came into the pool with us and immediately we were involved in a dialogue (I mean monologue).

He talked. And gestured. He spoke quickly and a lot. He repeated himself every minute, contradicted himself in every 3rd sentence, and got closer and closer. So close that we could smell his repulsive breath and fear that some part of his body would touch us.

Disgusting.

In a matter of minutes, we practically knew his whole life story.

He rambled on without pause, without considering whether we were even remotely interested.

Which, of course, we weren't.

But how do you get rid of a guy like him??!

Well, one drink was on him

Maybe two.

(Is that already prostitution? 😝)

Ernie (that's the name of this godlike mid-sixty-year-old) has been here for 3 years.

He's divorced, has 6 children with 3 different women, is retired, worked in a brothel in Hamburg for many years, used to be a boxer, then went to Switzerland to work.

At some point, he accidentally killed someone (as he said), spent a few years in prison.

He was beaten up here a while ago (FOR NO REASON, as he said), so now he looks like he's had a stroke.

One eyelid hangs, he can't control the corners of his mouth on the left.

So you have to imagine this tattooed, drunk, stinking, fat, loud old man, who is unexpectedly grinning all the time, telling his stories (which no one asked for). And Tatjana and I standing next to him, stunned and drinking wine, wondering how to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

After every drink (and he had many), he became more unpleasant.

We made fun of him in every way possible.

And he didn't get it at all.

Once, when he wanted to get another drink, he slipped on the wet pool floor.

Of course, one shouldn't laugh at something like that, but it just looked so funny how he awkwardly slapped his carcass and stayed lying on his back.

He would probably have broken everything (you know me), but drunks, like cats, are known to have 7 lives.

At the end of a very long involuntary afternoon with Ernie, he wanted to make Tatjana and me (thanks to Tatta, he thought we had been a couple for 4.5 years) happy by taking us home with him.

He wanted to pleasure us with his tongue (yes, you read that right). He is apparently well-known on the whole island as a Casanova, as he joyfully told us, and I found it really nice and considerate of him to offer himself to us for this purpose.

(Tatti really wanted to, but no, she belongs to me alone.) 😝

This guy. Really. Just impossible.

And there are so many Ernies in this world.

Way too many.

Out of all the planets in our solar system, why do all the idiots have to be on mine.

Unfair.

Just totally unfair.

Well, at least that was it for now.

And yes, I know that some of you can count to 3 and know exactly that I promised you 3 anecdotes earlier and you only got 2.

But tough luck!

I don't want to anymore.

I want to sleep.

Or eat something.

Or have a drink.

Or jump around the jungle at night.

Or flee from dogs.

Anything.

Just not write anymore. 🤪

But I promise:

1 more blog will come.

At least.

Sometime.

😅

Thank you for any form of attention and see you soon.

Over & Out