Lolomiina: 09.03.2018
This week was very exciting for me with lots of ups and downs.
Monday evening, after another boring day at work, I had a long conversation with Mom. We talked about how unhappy I am in my project and how long I should stay there. Even though I knew that my time here is too precious to waste it on a project where I am not needed, I originally wanted to endure it until the holidays (16th March). Luckily, my dear mom opened my eyes and we decided together that I should free myself from the project as soon as possible 😊
So, I got into the taxi to work with a nervous feeling in the morning and mentally prepared myself for the conversation with the director. I was very, very nervous and I had made up my mind not to lose my composure. But you know me, that didn't work out so well 😉 as soon as I opened my mouth, I started sobbing and crying. I honestly told him that I don't feel comfortable, that I don't feel like I can help the teachers or students, that I feel unnecessary and that I'm not progressing with sign language. Contrary to my expectations, the director was very understanding and said that he knows working with deaf children is not easy and that he can understand my decision. When I had calmed down a bit, the director and I went to another teacher who had been responsible for me in the past few weeks. Again, I lost my composure but tearfully explained to her why I was leaving. She was very surprised and said that I had done so well and that everyone needs time to learn sign language... but my decision was final. So, I drove home with a feeling of pride and liberation, knowing that I had taken the first important step. But now I had to explain it to Lena and her mother, who are visiting for two weeks.
Even though, of course, this conversation was not without tears, it went very, very well. Petra, Lena's mom, was very understanding and said that crying, unhappy volunteers are the last thing she wants. And so we looked for a replacement together. I will now spend the next few weeks trying out different projects, both new and old, and then decide where I will be best suited. I left the conversation with a good feeling and am very excited about the coming weeks. I'm really proud of myself for finally taking this step after seven weeks, and I know that I have grown because of it 😊
In the afternoon, I went to the city and bought everything to bake a cake for the children and teachers. After all, I still wanted to say goodbye to the remaining teachers and especially to the children. Isn't my birthday the perfect day for that?
My birthday 🎈
The birthday morning was rather quiet because I am always the first German in the morning. But the dear girls had put a cake and a sign in the kitchen for me, which was really sweet. With the cakes for the teachers and children in tow, I got into the taxi for the last time. I already knew that saying goodbye wouldn't be easy, even though I wasn't happy for the past few weeks. The children really grow on you, after all.
First, I had to announce my departure to the 30 teachers in the morning staff meeting. Of course, that didn't go without a few tears, but the teachers were really sweet. They sang for me, congratulated me warmly, and told me how sad they were about my decision. I accompanied my class until lunchtime. Then I distributed the cake to them, the teachers, and other students, took a few more photos, and then said goodbye to everyone. I am very grateful for the experiences I have gained in the past seven weeks at this school. I would have liked to help the students more and for a longer period of time, but I am now very excited for a fresh start.
When I returned from school, I took a short nap with our little cat, as the others were all still at work. Then they sang for me, I blew out the candles, and of course, we had a piece of cake.
At noon, I went to the gym with Jeannie and then we had a delicious coffee together and ate apple crumble (I had only had cake three times until then 😉). Since Mom, Dad, Franzi, Grandma, Heike, and Hans (Aunt and Uncle) didn't want to miss the annual strawberry cake, they all raised a toast to me and sang for me via video call. It was nice to know that the family back home was celebrating and thinking of me despite my absence. Even though I couldn't be with them, I felt very close to them 😊 Jeannie and I stayed in the city for a while and then met up with the others for dinner in the evening. There was a lot of delicious food. Afterwards, two girls and three locals danced with me to end the day. I had a very, very nice day and happily fell into bed at 2 o'clock in the morning.
The next morning was the opening ceremony of the playground, which was planned and built by Wadadee Cares. I am happy that the children in Katutura now have a safe place to play and no longer have to play on the street.
I'm hugging you tightly!!