Monte...ne...not ours...

On this day, I (Dani) completely lost my orientation. I must have said it to Philipp at least ten times today, firmly claiming that we are now in Serbia. Serbia Montenegro. Does it really mean that? I mean, at the Eurovision Song Contest, this country is called 'Serbia Montenegro, twelve points!' It will probably remain a mystery forever, even the half nervous breakdown of my better half of a geographer cannot fully convince me. But let's start at the beginning, or in the north, as the geographer would say now.

First of all, we started this day quite early because the heat woke us up, with a visit to Dubrovnik. Absolute insider tip. Or so we thought. Once again. Only we and a handful of Game of Thrones fans could imagine the beauty of this place.

Philipp had read a good tip the evening before: park at the station of a cable car and then glide into the old town. On the way to this station, we almost died on the narrow, serpentine road that was actually too narrow for the camper (at least that's how I perceived it, on this occasion I take off my imaginary hat to Philipp, who dealt with the situation and the hysterical co-driver in a really sovereign manner...), but the ride with the cable car was really a highlight and beautiful. Above all, from up there we had a great view of the city (like when visitors to the city arrive on horseback in Game of Thrones.... so cool...), which showed itself in all its beauty.

Inside the city, it was mainly hot and crowded. We greeted our Chinese friends from the waterfalls with a handshake (No, that's not true, I wished it was...), peeked into every alley, drank a coke for 4 euros each, I explained the story of Game of Thrones in King's Landing to Philipp in fast motion, and then we were already on our way back because sweat was already streaming down our bodies.

Now we continued to (Serbia) Montenegro. We had also heard about this insider tip: Montenegro, the new holiday paradise. So-so. Umbrella next to umbrella in every bay, the towns largely resembled the skyline of Cologne-Chorweiler, and in the car the air conditioning was fighting against 40 degrees of humid heat. Nightmare.

We were completely exhausted and on the edge of our nerves by 5 o'clock. For Philipp, the panic mainly consisted of being cut off from the internet, and he was also frustrated because the only destination he was really looking forward to in Montenegro (Lake Skadar) was unreachable from the coast due to a roadblock. I was mainly afraid of these big houses, as well as the creepy old man who tried to sell us a rather unfriendly 'hotel room'. I felt like Kevin alone in New York at night in Central Park when he met Pigeon Lady. In short: everything sucked. Both of us depressed. Time to eat.

We ended up in an unexpectedly stylish bistro with unexpectedly delicious food (because we didn't understand the menu and the waiter hardly spoke English), and the world suddenly looked different again. Philipp even managed to log into an unencrypted WLAN. Problems suddenly don't seem so big anymore.

Nevertheless, we actually considered rushing to Greece on this day, but were quickly taught better. So Philipp spontaneously booked an apartment, and off we went after a bit of aimless driving.

We arrived there completely frustrated and were greeted by such a nice, young (Serbia) Montenegrin (or something...) who infected us with her good mood. Then a sweet, wrinkled and rather round old lady wobbled out of the office, who was also so adorable that we completely relaxed.

We chatted a bit with hand and foot, laughed a lot about each other, and everything was fine. When we asked if we could park in the courtyard, the grandma convincingly talked to us, and since we didn't understand anything, she hung herself with her whole weight on the electronically operated gate, which of course didn't help, but was so touchingly helpful that we became complete fans of these women. The parking worked out in the end and we went to the beach for a while or to the entertainment mile or whatever you call this collection of street vendors, souvenir shops, cafes, and donkeys that you should stroke for 5€ (did you get money for it yourself? I still don't understand...).

Completely overwhelmed, we finally fell into bed and checked off this friendly but unfortunately ugly (Serbia) Montenegro.