Sadness of farewell

Wow, my last day of discovery in San Francisco has now come to an end. True to my sad mood about the end of my journey, the city has shown itself in shades of gray and with a lot of rain in the past two days. I heard that this is very rare. Probably the USA just wanted to make it easier for me to fly home ;). I used the gray weather to try to get some souvenirs. But of course, I also took another look at the ocean and just sat quietly on the beach to say goodbye mentally. I followed the Lands End Trail along the coast of San Francisco. Beautiful, anyone who flies there should definitely take this coastal hike.

San Francisco has endless parks, of which the Golden Gate Park is probably the most famous. Despite the rain, I tried to explore it, but quickly realized that I have my limits. The park is sooo huge that it would probably take weeks to walk all the hiking trails, explore all the lakes, and visit all the attractions (Botanical Garden, Japanese Garden, Bison Park, etc.). So, I settled for a short hike where I could see a waterfall.

I'm currently at the airport in San Francisco, waiting for my flight home. It's over, my adventure is coming to an end and my everyday life in Germany is waiting for me very soon. It's a really strange feeling... I can't believe yet that my travel time is already over. I'm sad, even a little bit angry at times that I will soon be faced with stress, gray weather, and the unfriendly German mentality again. I am curious about how I will deal with it.

On the other hand, there are of course things that I am looking forward to. Especially after sleeping in a shared room hostel in San Francisco, I am incredibly looking forward to my privacy. My own bed, my own four walls, no more living out of a suitcase, things in their proper place. And then there are of course very dear people that I am incredibly looking forward to. My family and friends, of course, in the first place. Especially when you have been on the road for a long time without the most important people in your life, you realize even more clearly how much they mean to you. How much I am looking forward to philosophizing and discussing everything possible with my girls who know me so well, and doing that in my native language :). I'm sure that despite my 3-month absence, they will welcome me back as if I had never been away. And that is one of the most important feelings in the world! I can't thank my friends enough for the great support they have given me during the trip. Especially in times of crisis and emotional discomfort, they were always there for me and allowed me to get through the journey easily and not feel so alone. This loyalty cannot be replaced by anything in the world and I am incredibly grateful for it.

Of course, everyday routine also has its charm. I am looking forward to Saarbrücken, especially to my dear friends there, but also to my beloved sports classes ;). I am also looking forward to my job, good German food, and the low supermarket prices. However, the excitement about my master's thesis is honestly still very limited. Alongside that, there is also a fear that in everyday life, I will once again have hardly any time for my feelings and thoughts, but will only function from appointment to appointment.

When I look at my fears, I realize that it's actually complete nonsense! After all, I am the person who has control over my future. I alone can decide how much stress I put on myself. How much space I give myself is completely up to me. Of course, life holds a few obligations if you want to function in it. At the same time, there is always room for craziness and adventure, and above all for oneself and one's dreams. I definitely want to bring this space with me to Germany and free myself a little bit from what others think of me. I'm very curious to see how well I will succeed in that.

This is probably also one of the most important insights from my journey: I want to free myself for more happiness in life. Free from so many constraints of society, from the need to please others, and from the norm. Kevin's favorite quote comes to mind over and over again: 'I don't want to be normal. Normality is what weak people call life. I call it dead.' I can only agree completely with that! I have never felt freer, more alive, and happier than by breaking out of normality. And by this, I don't mean that this breakout is always easy and only brings beautiful feelings. These breaks were very inspiring for me, alongside all the great encounters on my journey, the books by Paulo Coelho. I can only warmly recommend reading 'The Alchemist' and 'Veronika Decides to Die'. Of course, the wonderful gift from my new friend Lash at the beginning of my journey, the Eckhart Tolle book, is also worth reading.

Besides the aspect of freedom, during the journey, I also realized how important it is to have time for oneself, away from security and familiar environments. I have never learned more about who I am, what I need, and above all, what crazy things I feel, than when I was alone in a foreign country, far from my habits. It is really fascinating to get to know oneself and to try to align one's life more with oneself.

By no means do I want to advocate being alone all the time. Another very exciting learning effect has emerged through the other people on my journey: Relationships can definitely heal pain and move us forward. I have experienced so much love, hospitality, and warmth on the journey that it still leaves me speechless about how this is possible. The love of others made me feel incredibly good and grateful! A loving environment definitely has a huge influence on us, as it can make us much more loving and appreciative towards others. Furthermore, all these benevolent feelings from my fellow human beings have helped me to have much more self-love and self-acceptance. I have always been a staunch advocate of the idea that you have to be at peace with yourself before you can enter into heartfelt relationships with others. I still see a lot of truth in this assumption. At the same time, however, I saw that people can help you to come to terms with yourself and to love yourself and others more. Especially, or precisely when you are struggling with your own issues, it can be worth opening up emotionally to your fellow human beings. The healing power through this can be gigantic and show us how we should treat ourselves. But be careful when choosing who to open up to ;) Especially when you break out of the norm, many fellow human beings unfortunately have problems showing us love and appreciation from which we can learn.

So, enough of the final philosophy! If you'd like, you're welcome to visit my blog again in a week. I'll tell you how well the reintegration worked, how well I could let go of the travel mode, and how I could create some freedom in everyday life.

Of course, I also hope that this will not be my last travel blog. I could easily spend another 3 months in other parts of the USA. New Zealand, Australia, and some European countries also appeal to me a lot! I don't think I will ever want to live without traveling and exciting new experiences.