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The Island of Schwengel

Verëffentlecht: 21.05.2019

After roasting our alabaster galleon bodies in Busan, we flew on to the Island of Fertility... to Jeju Island. On this island, a special religion is practiced and a great god is worshipped. The locals affectionately call him 'the great Phallizius' - the god of all penises. Yes, you read that right... the male member is worshipped. So we finally reached our destination and found the place where our confidence could recharge.

But let's start from the beginning. The iron bird carried us across the vast ocean. We were just about to unfasten our seat belts when the pilot decided to give us an extra round around the island. Perhaps the stewardess read in our eyes the desire to see the island from every angle, or maybe it was an emergency. We will probably never know the real reason. On the very first day, we stumbled upon the mythical Loveland completely 'unplanned and surprising'. With our pants open, we marched through the gate and began our frivolous tour through the garden of lust. Members of all shapes and colors showed us the way. We stopped at every corner and documented the impressive monuments of masculinity. With swollen chests and above-average levels of testosterone, we enjoyed the atmosphere of the dedicated park.

Motivated and full of energy, we then looked for a challenge that was worthy of us. And so we looked towards the horizon and searched for the largest object, which we found in the form of 'Seongsan Ilchulbong'. It was a volcanic formation in the east of Jeju Island. We climbed it with a spring in our step, which didn't cost us a single drop of sweat, and enjoyed the view.

Jeju was also the venue of an epic event, a karaoke night like the city had never seen before. We feasted like kings, drank like Vikings, and sang like sirens on the stormy cliffs of Anthemoessa. Our sweet voices attracted Jeju residents like fire attracts a fly, like the first blossom of spring attracts a butterfly, like sweet nectar attracts the greedy snout of a bear, or like the floor attracts the jam side of a smudged toast. The electrified air of the city gave its heart a new rhythm and made the ground tremble.

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