Comfort zone

The last two weeks were pure laziness. In Ayutthaya, a city near Bangkok with numerous ruins, I had to realize that it is insanely hot. Oh well. That's not such a surprise in Thailand, but nevertheless, I have turned into a constantly perspiring, completely exhausted-looking and groaning standard tourist. Creepy. Sightseeing by bike? Not even if someone had offered me money. I barely managed to go on an evening walk through the ruins, a boat tour (yay breeze) and eat at the night market. We preferred to spend the hot afternoons as two stranded jellyfish by the pool, trying not to melt. Luckily, after two days, we moved on to the wonderful island of Koh Phangan. Yes, there are the legendary full moon parties. But also many quiet beaches with bungalows right on the beach. We only experienced a half moon party, but we had to take that experience. I can only say... nothing special. Maybe someone who is a connoisseur of the electro scene would have been more impressed, but for us, the highlight was being driven home, drunk and together, on a scooter, yay adventure! The rest of the time we spent at various beaches, having club sandwiches and cappuccinos in the morning, eating various rice dishes in the evening, floating in the water, lying down, practicing a little handstand, and essentially doing nothing.
I wouldn't say that I'm disappointed with Thailand, but I can't share the huge enthusiasm. The food is great, really delicious, especially in the markets, and there are also Western options available everywhere, which makes mornings particularly pleasant. It's also great that you can have a bungalow right on the beach for only 13€ and that there is a great transportation system. Not so great is that you mostly feel like a package tourist. Get on this boat, here you get a sticker on your chest so they know where to shuffle you next, then get on this bus, etc. The night train is also filled with only tourists. You rarely have the opportunity to observe 'real life', and you can't have conversations with people because of the language barrier. I have a feeling that they're 'selling' their country, the well-known islands are completely in the hands of tourism, and in the north, tourism is invading everything. You can see that in nature as well. I admit, we also followed the well-known routes and destinations. So if you want to have things nice, easy, and cheap, see beautiful but not overly spectacular nature with a touch of exoticism but don't want to give up the usual comforts, then Thailand is a good place to be. If you really want to get to know the country and its people, you have to move outside of the well-known tourist places, which is also possible with a little organization.

So for the past 4 weeks, I learned that going on vacation is not the same as traveling. And that when you're with someone else, you can rely pretty heavily on their presence. When you're alone, you have to constantly push yourself to do something, whether it's arriving alone at the hostel and making contact with someone for the first time, renting a car alone, not feeling stupid eating dinner alone somewhere, making decisions about what you want to do, approaching people, or joining someone for a tour, etc. In other words, you constantly have to step out of your beloved comfort zone. When you're with someone else, the responsibility is shared, if something goes wrong, you're not solely to blame, you can also ask the other person for directions, and most of the time the other person also has enough water with them so you don't have to worry about it. Meeting other people becomes much more difficult, you're rarely approached, and since you feel so comfortable in each other's company, you also speak to other people less frequently. The perfect definition of the comfort zone. It's nice and pleasant, you're happy to finally spend time with the other person, it's like being on vacation.
For those who can't imagine traveling alone: firstly, you're not alone. It's not weird that you're alone, because there are soooo many people (of all ages) who are alone. Yes, you have to be a little brave, approach someone and sit down and eat alone, make decisions alone, etc. But you will be approached so often, nice conversations will start quickly, and you will quickly learn what kind of people have something to say and which ones are just blah blah. It's not that difficult to find your way somewhere, you just have to be brave, nobody has ripped off my head yet, and you constantly encounter different worldviews, experiences, and opinions, so you constantly question yourself, check yourself, and integrate new ideas. Without constraints and obligations, without habits and routines, we have the opportunity to look at our lives from a distance. We see what holds us back, what keeps us small, but also what is important, what we really love, and what we don't want to lose. What matters? What do we actually want in life? I haven't seriously asked myself that before, I just did what you're supposed to do.
So for anyone who somehow feels like they need to go because they feel like there is so much more out there than our little reality, or for anyone going through a crisis, needing new input and creativity, feeling trapped in everyday life, I can only advise you to go! Do it, and do it alone preferably, because what you can learn about yourself, the energy you suddenly experience, what you get in return and the things that happen to you once you let go are priceless. It doesn't have to be a trip around the world right away, maybe a week-long hike or even a wellness weekend just for yourself will be enough. Get some distance, reevaluate, learn, grow, and continue.

PS: Yep, the hair is gone :-) I parted with it in the middle of the red light district in Bangkok, a place designed for Japanese people.