All beginnings are difficult!

Man, I had a hard time getting out of bed today!

To call the mental state of your surly scribbler "Zach" is not only a heavy euphemism, it would be a downright outrageous understatement.

The rather impressive, magnificent gluteus maximus of the overweight, nasty fellow simply did not want to be heaved over the edge of the bed and the unworthy Gaijin could certainly not imagine heaving his award-winning, lady-bewitching, cheaply rounded magnificent ass onto the good Berta, who was already pawing the ground.

But there's no point, somewhere, somehow and at some point this dizzying travel story has to finally have a proper beginning.

So let’s get to the two protagonists of this shady business:

On the one hand, there is the noble, delicate Berta.

The fiery, reliable horse, of Japanese origin, likes to gallop through the vastness of Europe, she loves various tattoos on her well-formed, metallic body and she simply has a thing for the firm, fleshy buttocks of the unworthy traveler.

So much so, in fact, that she wants to feel these wonderful eye-pleasers on her back for hours and finds it incredibly hot to rub herself against them constantly and persistently.

What Berta doesn't like at all is when orange Mattighofen stilt bucks or various Bavarian top dogs sniff around her rear end, making roaring, guttural mating calls, chasing her over passes and trying to scare her across the asphalt.

No, good Berta doesn't like that at all, then she starts running faster and faster...

...and then there is the unnecessary, fetid gaijin.

There is simply nothing to write about it, it is just there, consuming the good air in the various countries of this beautiful continent and every now and then causing embarrassing misunderstandings between peoples.

A quick update to today: The unworthy Gaijin visited two spa guests at two different spas and in the process consumed, choked down and kept down a lot of coffee, which is why there was very little to photograph.

There probably won't be many pictures in the next two days, as we have to cover some distance to reach the green island as quickly as possible.

Sorry my precious, beautiful reading darlings, nothing for the eyes today, but things will definitely get better with the photos.