The verdict of Söder Max!

Soda, as promised, there are hardly any pictures today, because the unworthy traveler has spent the day toiling through the German motorways and was surprised to discover that Germanic asphalt culture, in its purest form, only leads over creeping, miserably long construction sites.

One damned 80s roadworks followed the next and the tired, reddish eyes of the unworthy traveler grew tired in direct proportion to the frequency of the speed restrictions.

An undignified form of transport in any case!

But as the dishonorable Gaijin is, he spared no expense and effort, visited a middle-class truck stop for his expensive, highly intellectual and beautiful readers and took a spectacular photo of himself!

Look at the grumpy fetid in tight, deer-colored leather trousers, ladies and gentlemen!

...and if the ladies now let out "Ah's" and "Oh's" from their beautiful, rosy and well-formed lips and those who are already mentally planning a family with the Gaijin, then the unworthy traveler will unfortunately have to cause a bitter disappointment.

Because unlike in the alpine Austria Autobahn shithouses, where many phone numbers of extremely willing, constantly horny and pretty busty ladies are written on the door to the holy relaxation porcelain, this is by no means the case in Germany.

There is an invitation to test your fertility!

Apparently all you had to do was shake a sample into the ceramic, rinse it, wait and a result would be announced promptly.

Well, of course the unworthy traveler could not escape this, because after all the moped riding, where his little bag always thundered against the hard tank when braking hard, the smelly egg bear suspected a proper nut cracking and so of course he unpacked his mental porno magazine and 10 seconds later the sample was floating in the porcelain.

So just rinse and wait...

"What's wrong with you, you pathetic little idiot!" rang out the sonorous voice of Sun King Söder in the relaxation room in the mighty Dolby Surround.

"The most you can use that rancid stuff for is picking out the ladies' underwear section in the Otto catalogue, otherwise the Paz is good for nothing! So get out of here! Don't waste the valuable time of the very best Franconian Bavarian and you, unworthy man, will definitely not be allowed to mate with a Teuton!", the beaming God Emperor scolded the unnecessary attendee.

Nothing helps, so run away to France...

...and the day after tomorrow we're taking the ferry to the English coast, so I think we'll finally be able to get some lovely, eye-pleasing pictures!