4. Monatsrückblick

I think this month was the hardest for me so far.

The last three months have been full of events and joy to be on this island.

December was a little different for me. The first week of December was actually pretty good, everything was as usual. Then it happened on December 7th. to Madagascar and I had two indescribably beautiful weeks that are truly unforgettable for me.

Then we flew “home” and everything fell apart a bit. You fly home from vacation and are still not at home, not with family or friends. Plus, the contrast was and is just so stark: I spent two weeks with three other people 24/7, day and night. And then you come back and almost all the people I had a lot to do with are already back in Germany. My French roommate is also in France for the holidays. I've pretty much fallen into a hole.

Christmas and New Year's Eve slipped into this hole, holidays that people like to spend at home and with the family. I celebrated well and had fun, but underneath there was a lot of homesickness - the first time to this extent.

To be honest, I just want to go home right now. My roommates in Germersheim are now all back from Erasmus and I could finish my studies faster and more efficiently.

I feel like I have no friends and no connection here. The few I have left at the moment are going home in the next few weeks... Somehow it's really hard right now, I've really just wanted to go home since the beginning of the month (apart from the time in Madagascar).

But I'm currently mindful enough to know that the feeling will go away once the semester starts and there's a little more structure and new people in my environment. At least I hope so.

Sorry for the somewhat less happy review this time, but I also want to be honest and create an authentic memory for myself here. There are always good times and bad times, everything comes in waves. Mora mora, this is the condition of existence.

That would be all the mantras for today ;)