Tag 65: Thrown into the sand

02.09.2016

Now we unfortunately have to leave this wonderful place, even though it breaks my heart. Although there is a little hope to still land in other beautiful places, the area around the beautiful Lake Pokaki has really grown on me. First of all, we are heading to the nearest town to surround ourselves with necessities such as electricity, wifi, and a café. Finally, it is easy for us to reach out to someone we wanted to contact, as they are also in our time zone. Therefore, it is obvious that Gudi and I meet up with a former classmate of mine who is currently staying in Wanaka to participate in a freeski contest. The drive there takes us several hours, but they pass by quickly, as I am eagerly looking forward to finally meeting a companion of the same gender and the same age after over two months. I don't want to underestimate Gudi's ability to be a buddy, but it's hard to gossip about Gudi with Gudi. Jokes aside, if I spoke ill of Gudi, this would be the last place to mention it. Nevertheless, I enjoy the company of another full-blooded bearded guy.

I am quite surprised how cool New Zealand can be in Wanaka. Almost exclusively dudes and dudettes in ski gear are showing up, with the average age probably being twenty-five. Due to this fact, Gudi is close to tears, as she is slowly approaching fifty. We quickly try to adapt to the crowd and also put on our brightest and widest clothes. However, due to the travel restrictions of our wardrobe, we still look like conventional backpackers. In the supermarket, we run into the familiar Michi and also get to know Jochen, another freeskier from Tyrol. With our giant baby, we drive the two of them to their sponsor's house and notice after a few meters that freeskiers not only use their ability to do daring things on the mountain but also to linger on the threshold of reason. So even the short drive in the convoy is a real torture for the slowpoke elephant beneath us.

When we enter the Mons Royal house, we suddenly find ourselves in a crowd of professional skiers. At first, I don't know if I should shake hands or just admire the interior of the villa with an open mouth - either way, I feel pretty small in the double sense. Annoyingly, I didn't bring my autograph cards, otherwise the new acquaintances would definitely have liked a memento of me. For this reason, we don't stay long. In addition, an interview is taking place on the terrace with a view of the lake and the mountains, and the crew explicitly asks for silence. The problem is that removing a colossus - including turning it around - is not exactly quiet, which is why I receive some curses from the film crew - too bad, it's their own fault if they didn't want to interview me, I had a lot to say.

We actually want to stay overnight in Michi's driveway, but the aforementioned action doesn't necessarily urge me to go back to the professionals, even though it should be emphasized that everyone was extremely friendly and incredibly cool. Instead, Gudi and I decide to head to a campground just outside the town, which is free and also right by the lake.

Since I am already a bit tired, I manage to put a small dent in the rear of the car while turning around, mistaking a rock wall for a bush in the rear view camera. Here I express my recommendation to VW to equip rearview cameras with color HD displays. Later, we finally find the campground and start a discussion about whether we can even pass the somewhat bumpy access road. I persist and steer our ship straight into the misery. However, it should be mentioned that I am completely right with my assessment that I can manage the downhill road. Since it is dark and we have very limited visibility, we decide to park only a short distance after the downhill section. Unfortunately, just at the moment when we decide on a stopping place and therefore slow down, we notice how the fat guy digs into the - unfortunately not at all hard - ground. While Gudi freezes in shock, I am initially convinced that I can also reverse this mishap - with the result that our underbody is dangerously close to the ground due to the spinning of the tires (the only thing not covered by insurance on our car). Equipped with a flat stone and a healthy dose of adrenaline in my blood, I start digging the tires out of the gravel surrounding us like a wild man. This turns out to be a real suicide mission, as it is dark, freezing cold, and windy. Nevertheless, we try to jack up the car with stones and ride it out of the sh***t.

After an hour, frustrated and unsuccessful, we go to bed and try not to think too much about the impending consequences or the question of blame. In retrospect, it is clear, of course, that Gudi bears the responsibility for this mishap, as she sat in the driver's seat according to European law. As I fall asleep, I still make plans on how to save us, but exhausted as I am, I fall into a very restless sleep.

Gudi's glorious laws:

Always have a shovel in the car!

Gudi's law can be traced back to her dad Toni - apparently, he has always preached that you should have a shovel in the car at all times, regardless of the season. In my opinion, this is another proof of the omissions and the resulting responsibility that increasingly falls on Gudi.

Postscript: Of course, I know that the problems that have arisen are my fault, but I don't want to disrupt the usual course of my relationship with Gudi, in which I do stupid things and then blame her for the chaos that ensues. Some things are also fine as they are, so let them stay that way.