Day 4: Narvik

Day 4 (8.6.16): Örnsköldsvik - Lulea

The day starts sunny and warm. After a quick breakfast, we pack up and hop into the Defender. The destination for today, Lulea, is only 4 hours away, so we decide to take a slightly adventurous detour through the countryside instead of the boring coastal highway. As we make kilometer after kilometer, the weather starts to worsen. The initial rain turns into a downpour, and the mild breeze gradually becomes a storm with fierce gusts. An exciting day begins.

Chapter 1: The Everest Knees

Although the heater...well...does what it can, my knees keep getting colder. After a while, getting out is out of the question as my joints are frozen stiff. I've given up on rubbing them, as my fingers could freeze as well.

Analysis. After much tinkering with ventilation and switches, and a lot of effort, I manage to close the wind deflector (yes, Defenders have those). Within seconds, my knees regain their color from blue to a delicate pink. This also explains why I had to survive the whole winter with a parking heater. I should have taken the time to fix it a year ago...

Chapter 2: Water Infiltration on the HMS Defender

Andrea realizes that her socks are filling up with water. It's not because of the tropical heat inside the car, as it's still cold.

Analysis. Somewhere, funny enough not on the side with the door, water is getting into the ship. The bulkheads are apparently not watertight. With even more struggling and strength, Andrea manages to close the wind deflector on the passenger side as well. The heavy rain has found its way through the ventilation channels. The water remains, but the camera, shoes, and the roasted chicken from along the way can be saved. That's life on the HMS Defender, shoes and chicken first.

Chapter 3: The ONE Screw

The gusts of wind get stronger and find easy prey on the tall Defender with the clutter on the roof. The wind tugs at the roof and pushes and jerks at the bodywork. The Defender can only be kept on the road with a lot of effort and foresight. I have to constantly slow down, countersteer, and brake. And for some reason, the wind gets louder on the driver's side and the heater becomes less effective. I look pale in the mirror. I check my pulse, still palpable.

Analysis. There's a lot more air coming in at the door than is healthy. I discover that the screw (yes, THE ONLY screw) that holds the A-pillar, roof, and door frame together has come loose. The advantage: the cold air dries the sweat of fear from my forehead. I assume that Land Rover has taken such cases into account. After all, Bear Grylls also drives one. So it should be fixable with a shoelace. But I choose the screwdriver instead. Defender, nothing else would be surprising.

Chapter 4: The Burning Poodle

There's a smell of something burning. Nothing that would concern a Defender driver, something is always smoldering. Andrea has a different opinion.

Analysis. Sniffing, patting, sniffing, rearranging: ah, the wool hat in the glove compartment is on the verge of exploding and already smells like a microwaved poodle. Apparently, it's not intended to store anything in the glove compartment while the heater is running in a Defender. I'll remember that. Note to self: Install grill in glove compartment: Check.

Chapter 5: Garmin Takes Over the World and Redesigns Sweden

Only 30 minutes to the destination. According to Garmin. But I'm getting suspicious. Lulea would be world-famous if Garmin's information were correct. It would have the only port in the world located amidst vast pine forests. Something's not right here. Reprogram the GPS, same result. 30 minutes in the middle of nowhere, container ships dock. Sweden can do that.

Nevertheless, we still ask Siri. Computer says NO. Siri also considers Garmin rubbish and says we passed the destination an hour ago.

So we turn the battered Defender around and drive with...a downcast mood...past overturned trees in the storm, over bumpy roads back to where we were a long time ago.

The campsite is great, trees are already lying around here as well, apparently the storm is also exceptional for Sweden. The bungalow is cozy, we settle in. Another smuggled beer finally saves the day.