वह युगांडा था

Expectation vs Reality

(in advance, I tried to travel without expectations as much as possible, but you do think about it a bit)

not getting much to eat vs being fed with fatty rice & posho & the most disgusting meat ever (I've become almost vegetarian because of it)

being shocked by poverty in which many people in Uganda live vs. being shocked by the difference between the rich and the poor

working for a project for 2 months vs. back and forth, changing projects, boredom in Kampala, trip to Fort Portal, leaving early

taking everything lightly vs. emotional crises

dry landscape vs. blooming green (Uganda is called 'Pearl of Africa')

Hello my dear ones, internally I'm a bit resistant to writing this blog post already, because technically I'm still in Uganda, namely in Entebbe near the airport, and just killing time. I was smart enough to go to the airport with my buddy Hisham so that we could split the cost of the ride (his flight was already at 6 p.m. and mine was at 4 a.m.). And oh surprise, there are no cafes or anything at the airport, and I'm not allowed to check in yet, so I got a ride back down to a restaurant outside the airport premises. I've been sitting here for 2 or 3 hours already (it's 7:10 p.m.) and it will probably be another 4! So my journey to Uganda ends in typical local style: sitting and waiting.

What did I like:

- Child Hope Ministries, my Ugandan family ( www.childhopeministries.com )

- St. John Bosco School in Katosi Village (for which I started the fundraising page www.gofundme.com/schoolbuilding )

- Fort Portal, one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen

- Riding a boda boda !! Best adrenaline kick

- Chapatti (savory pancakes that you eat as a snack) and ROLEX haha (filled chapatti with egg & tomato)

- every single child here

- the kittens, somehow I magically attracted them here (well, to be honest, it was probably because I always gave them something to eat)

In general, Uganda was a difficult experience for me. Both internally and externally, but in a way I didn't expect..

First of all, I had to slow down and slow down my own pace, I had to realize that I had overestimated my own abilities to help, I had to get involved with the way people are here, and I had to deal with many uncomfortable situations.

What do you expect when you go to Uganda? Different hygienic conditions that you have to get used to - but that wasn't a big deal for me. A much bigger challenge was this hopeless everyday life. No real task, lots of sitting around, lots of thinking, lots of doing nothing. But that's what life really looks like for so many people here. 

The most difficult thing for me was to hold on to my belief. I don't mean anything religious, but rather how I think about how the world 'works', why certain things happen, etc. (you could call it spiritual)

I firmly believe that everything that happens has its reason (because as soon as I start to give it a meaning and draw something positive out of it, even if it's just a learning experience, this belief automatically becomes true). For me, there is no 'what if' (of course, sometimes I also have these automatic thoughts, no question about it, but I put my belief above these automatic thoughts) BECAUSE everything that happens is exactly what had to happen. And yes, sometimes it's hard to think that way, because when you think about the death of loved ones, for example, the question arises 'what's right about that?'. But then the question arises whether death is really something bad? Who knows what comes after? I believe that when a person dies, they have fulfilled their task as a human being. I believe that there is something after death, just like before birth, I am even convinced that humanity is only a small part of our being. Of course, this logic doesn't take away the pain that death causes, but maybe there is an answer to the question 'why'

Okay, I'm digressing! hahaha #deeptalk

So back to my main point: this whole belief of mine was constantly put to the test during my 6 weeks in Uganda. Almost every decision I made led to automatic thoughts of 'if only I had done it differently'. I constantly struggled with it.

But you know what? I still believe in it. And maybe that's exactly what the whole thing was about? Maybe this was simply a test of faith for me? Holding on to one's convictions even when things are not going so well? Or maybe you just don't always have to understand the meaning behind everything?

If this time in Uganda has brought me something, it is the following things: 

the aforementioned test of faith, a better handling of money, I have solved a deep-seated problem that I have been struggling with since I can remember, I have come to appreciate my life at home even more than before (not just the 'luxury', but all my truly amazing and kind-hearted friends, whom I miss so much, the role I have in society, my hobbies, my everyday life, my lifestyle), I have gained many great insights about myself and how I imagine the future years (I probably have to make a separate post about that, because I'm crazy and have new ideas every day) and so on and so forth.

And with that, I mentally say goodbye to Uganda (even though I still have to stay here for 8 hours - well, whatever) and say thank you for the experience!

ps. congratulations for reading all the way to the end, I'm proud of you! hahha but that was also long

quick update: I'll probably stay in Cairo until Wednesday and then go to some awesome resort and chill, work out and enjoy the beach - it's super cheap) See you soon!

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