Kyoto - Tempelicious - Day 1

You gotta fight! For your right! To sleep well!

After a two-hour train ride on the express train and a one-hour flight on the bullet train Shinkansen, we arrived in Kyoto. The original capital of ancient Japan. We checked in at the Pocket Hotel. When it comes to accommodation, small means cheap. 2 beds wide and 2.2 beds long, with 2 beds inside, two 30 cm wide spaces under one of the beds for bags. We got our keycards. I received mine and took the elevator to the fifth floor. I'm so excited to find out who will be my roommate for the next three nights. And as I open the door, I get kicked in the balls. The chainsaw-wielding moon destroyer is already in one of the two beds and greets me. I greet him back, die inside, and enter the room. I look around. Check the room. And die inside again, this time in a flaming anger. The world police has taken both spaces under the bed with all his stuff. I consider saying something, but decide against it, push his things into the first space and squeeze mine into the second. Bringing it up would have led me down an unwanted path. He is hard of hearing, wears hearing aids, and mumbles unpleasantly loud and Texan-mumble. It would have burned my patience thread even faster.

'He who fights, may lose! He who does not fight, has already lost!'

Only Phoenix rising from the ashes can help. I go down to the lobby, find out that Charles probably has the single room again. So I look for Miho, pull her aside and explain the situation to her. And openly confess to her that one of us would not survive this night. I write in parallel with Charles, explaining the situation to him. Wouldn't he want to swap with my current roommate? Cowboy would get an upgrade and get the single room, Charles would come to me. Charles agrees, winking under the condition of '1 glass of Japanese Whiskey'. I do not agree. '3 glasses of Whiskey. Deal!' After 3 nights with a total of 4 hours of sleep, I would have been ready to buy him 3 bottles. Miho knows, talks to the receptionist and my American roommate, and they all agree. I am ecstatic, my sleep is saved. This good mood manifests inwardly, carries me through the rest of the day, gives me small wings of carefreeness.

And this complex, I mean it, it's huuuuge!

After this relief, we go out into the city. Once again, a good group has gathered. Björn and Olivia, a couple from Denmark, as well as the three islanders Adam 'Sir British', Rob 'The Ears & Eyes' and Sam 'McBurnie'. We have now baptized Sam the Scot 'McCharming'. Anyone who spends 15 minutes with him knows how justified the title is.
Off to the old Imperial Palace. You can see that this was once the center of an empire from all corners. The imperial complex is unbelievably vast. 1,300m x 700m. It is amazing that something like this can even find its place in a modern 1.5 million inhabitants. We take a look at the temple compound in the bright sunshine, wander around for several hours, and pose around.

A German, two Brits, and an Australian walk into a bar

At some point, Rob says to me, "You're the funniest German I've ever met!" I counter, "Thanks mate, but technically I was born in Poland." 😁
Amazing. We have only spent two days together, but the group dynamics are remarkably harmonious. Rob is basically my 'brother from another mother'. Small, thin, cheerful, with the same 'That was a dick joke. Duuuhh!' mentality in his head and always a song on his lips. This will bring us many delightful moments.
On the way back to the hotel, we pass an Irish pub. McCharming and Crocodile Dundee's mission: To try a Japanese Whiskey. So far, the mission has been unsuccessful. Today, they should be successful. We go in and have a good time.

Stop! In the name of self-love!

After gathering in the lobby, the whole group heads towards a karaoke bar in the dark. Finally, the time has come. Rob and I catch 5 seconds of a techno song on the way, the name of which I have forgotten. These 5 seconds stick, loosen the dancing muscles. We dance with the group, even dance up to complete strangers, and joy comes back as an intercultural response.
I spot a playground. I spot a hill. I turn to the right, Rob looks at me. We both look at the slide, look at each other again. And we start running. As if life and death were at stake, we climb the hill as fast as possible, jump on the slide, and arrive at the bottom laughing. Charles spontaneously jumps on as well. Then we run back to the group.
Leaf notes that she doesn't understand some humor, a small conversation develops. Among other things, in relation to the slide. I look at her in surprise and respond roughly:

"Leaf, you know what? I can't please everyone I meet. Believe me, I've tried. And in doing so, I've given up my center too often. When I give up my center, I am determined by others. I give away my fate and my happiness into the hands of others. I deceive myself. Because if I do something just to please others, then I am lying to myself.
What kind of person am I to others if I don't even love myself? How can I then have an abundance of love for others?
So, fuck it! Not everyone will love you, have fun for yourself without harming others, and you will be like an overweight person on a waterbed - you attract everything around you.'

5 seconds later, Rob starts with the techno song again, we stand facing each other, wiggling our arms and hips, dancing.

What does the seal say?

In the restaurant, we are amazed and immediately take out our phones for photos. Basically, it looks like what you imagine a typical Japanese restaurant to be. Only real. I study the drink menu. "Hmmm... That sounds... foreign. I'll take that."
And what can I say? If I ever get the chance to order sake with pufferfish fins again, I will always smile at this opportunity, wave goodbye, and let it pass. It tastes like fish soup with alcohol.
We don't have to wait long for our food. Well, apart from all the sushi orders. They take forever. It also affects McCharming next to me. He struggles a bit, whining in the deepest Scottish accent. Even native English speakers ask what he said. His look. The absurdity. His accent. The sake. And the relief of swapping roommates. The general good mood. Now it's done again - Thomas laughs like a suffocating seal - and can't be stopped. And the mood continues to rise. It gets warm.

Sing Hallelujah!

'Where people sing, settle down,
for evil people know no songs.'

But these people I'm with, they know songs. And even if they don't, the lyrics are displayed. Yes, it's karaoke time!
It's my first time. I only have the pufferfish sake in me. But in karaoke, it's not so much about the alcohol level as it is about the friends you're with. Since the first day, we have asked each other, "What's your karaoke song?" I won't leave this place without the Backstreet Boys, quickly grab the tablet and enter my song request. The entire range is requested; where we are somewhat familiar with the lyrics, we sing along. The off-key singing is drowned out by the joyful energy that fills the small room. After a few songs, I look at the clock and realize with shock that three-quarters of an hour has already passed. Only 15 minutes left. 'Nelly - It's getting hot in here' is added to the list. When the hour is up, it begins. We leave the room, dancing and singing.

Improv(e) Theatre

Charles and I are both lying in our beds, having an animated conversation. At some point, I mention that I'm actually an introverted person. He doesn't believe me. And I wouldn't have either if I had seen myself on stage from the outside tonight. He asks me what helped me. I think about it. Not for long, because I have often asked myself this question or already answered it in situations like this.
"If I had to name just one YouTube channel, it would be 'Charisma on Command'." He laughs briefly. Yes, he's a fan of it himself.

I ask him how old he is. 22. Wow, very young.
I ask him what his hobbies are. Anime, manga, among others. Of course, it's not surprising to meet such fans on a trip like this.
Yes, the YouTube channel helped me a lot, but it's only a small part.

I start enthusiastically telling him about my last three years of improv theater and how Nicole's work has helped me grow. That I'm always the first to go on stage to train away this fear. I tell him about the fear of rejection and the associated people-pleasing. That I've learned not to always seek confirmation from others through eye contact on stage, but simply to do my thing in the here and now. Either others enjoy my abundance or they don't. He's interested, mentally noting to attend a trial evening.

I tell him a bit about my first men's work seminar that I attended and the work at the Cologne Men's Day. But also the importance of balance between the feminine and masculine in growing up. And of course, I bring up my usual example of the child who wants to climb a tree. The mother tends to protect, wanting the child to be safely grounded. And the father? He stands below and shouts at the child, "Another branch! Come on, there's more!" Both have their place, in balance. Judith's saying comes to mind:

'Children who are not allowed anything become adults who can do nothing.'

Oh yes, Dad, if you're reading this today: All the best and happy birthday! I love you. 🥳

After an hour, Charles and I go to sleep, we could have talked forever.
His first comment the next morning: "What did I want to remember? Improv. What else?"
What always helps me is to write down my thoughts. Paper is like fertilized soil, his thoughts like seeds. I spare any further comment. He grabs his phone for notes, I go to take a shower. A new day is breaking in Kyoto.