Phu Quoc - 'das ABSURDISTAN Vietnams'

This blog entry almost didn't exist.
You could almost have seen this page as my memoirs.
I almost died.

Oh well.

Maybe that's completely exaggerated.
Who knows.
It's definitely a good introduction. ;)
Since then, Anna and I have definitely called it a 'near-death experience'.
And I know you're curious about what was going on again.
But I'm a big fan of chronology and so I can only ask for a little patience. :)

Xin chao!

This is how they say 'Hello' in Vietnam.
We have been in this crazy country for over a week now.
Our trio has now become a duo again and so much has happened in the last 9 days that I don't know where to start and my desire to do it...phew...so I'll put it this way:
If my motivation were an animal, it would definitely be something dead.

Most of you probably remember where our adventure started.
For all others:
It was an island called Phu Quoc in the south of Vietnam.
It is closer to Cambodia than to mainland Vietnam and is actually the largest in that country.
And in any case it is the strangest island I have ever been to.
(Remember the chronology! We'll get to the weird stuff later)

Guys, the resort that we were finally able to move into after almost 24 hours of travel...
Ugh.
That was definitely a 10 out of 10 .
I really had nothing to complain about at all.
I think the other two felt the same way.
And we are Germans.
We actually always find something to complain about! :)

It was around 1pm when we arrived.
Awake for 26 hours.
His great-grandfather was jetlagged.
Completely easy.
But too excited to think about sleeping.
First get out and see what's going on.
Hustle and bustle.
Scurry.
Many people.
A climate that I like so much.
It smelled different on every corner.
It was absolutely crazy.
I have no idea how we did it, but that day we were awake until half past three.
There's this one Korean drink.

I already know it from Thailand.

It is transparent and tastes of various types of fruit.
Nobody knows what it actually is.
But it's 13 % and pops like twice that.
That's all we need to know.

It really is the ultimate magic potion.
Just one sip and every Annika immediately becomes a Pippi.
That coupled with a lack of sleep and the anticipation of everything that lies ahead of us.

Aiaiai. Explosive mixture.

It was boozy.
Loud.
Funny.
And very long!
Completely different from our night afterwards.
The alarm clock was merciless.
And by 8 our 'reserved' towels were already lying on the pool lounger.
Fun!!
We don't do that, but we were up really early. Swear!
Anna and I had plans and we were so excited to see how it would turn out.
Mini spoiler:
We imagined it a little differently, but we now have a story that we can tell again and again at every pub night.

We wanted to see the beach from a bird's eye view.
We were in the mood for adventure and adrenaline.
The latter...well...maybe they meant it a little too well, but we got what we ordered from Universum...
The day before we saw a sign saying that parasailing was offered near us.
And kept that in mind.
When we came to the beach the next day, we didn't see an umbrella or a boat anywhere.
Just a few people sitting around listlessly.
However, the Vietnamese can practically smell where they can earn a dong.
They lined up straight away, so to speak, when we looked around for just a second.
We said in a somewhat uncertain voice:
'Parasailing?'
Those like this:
Frantic babbling into a walkie-talkie.
Loud whistles towards the ocean.
Busy hustle and bustle.

Do you know the jungle camp?
Before the celebrities have to hand over their valuables, boot camp guys always come and shout at them and tell them what to do.
That's what happened to us too.
Including handing over valuables. (I also entrust my firstborn to Tatti)

In any case, suddenly a boat came driving up out of nowhere.
Next to us (as if out of nowhere) the paraglider was rolled out.
The ropes unraveled.
Murmur of voices.
Pointing finger at Anna.
Into the safety harness.
Explanations: none.
Fast. More quickly. Fastest.
Everything had to happen so damn quickly.
Time lapse.
Pointing fingers at me.
Nothing was explained to me either.
Almost wordlessly lashed behind Anna.
And hey, I'm definitely not a knot expert or anything.
But they didn't seem particularly trustworthy. I even followed up.
However, there wasn't much time for it.
It felt like we were hanging on the boat within 30 seconds.
With a lot of pantomime we finally understood that we should just run a little bit across the sand towards the sea.
Anna in front of me.
I was glued to her.
Suddenly we were in the air.
And even though I didn't have a real idea, I didn't have the impression that it was supposed to be THAT way.
I was attached to Anna like a sack of potatoes (a very, very heavy sack of potatoes).
However, I was hanging BELOW her.
My face was pressed against her body and I couldn't see anything.
If I made an effort and pushed myself away from her with the help of the handle, I could at least see a little to the left and right with a lot of effort.

Fuck that was high!

And seeing a small part of the island from above was crazy, but I could only half enjoy it in that position.
As soon as I let go of the ropes (and according to the mime briefing we were supposed to), all I saw and felt was Anna's muscular back and broad shoulders. (Shout-out to the grain!)
I was really just squeezed.
Anatomically speaking, this position is not really natural.
And technically opposite of what my friends at Google showed me in pictures.
I have no idea how they tied us together, but it was more wrong than wrong.
Things only got worse when it suddenly made a 'pop' noise .

'Anna, shit, something popped on me!!'
Before I even said that, I was hanging on the ropes one floor lower.
Something must have come loose.
I swear I saw myself falling.
My 'mantra' that when I travel, I will pass away one day...
I had that in my head the whole time.
But I thought with regret why it had to happen at the beginning of the holiday and not perhaps at the end.
Aaaabut
You are currently reading these lines.
That means:
I obviously survived.
With great horror and a thousand thoughts about who will inherit all my beautiful shoes, but alive and in good spirits that this will not have been my last unreasonable decision ;)

By the way, Anna had the opposite problem.
Everything was so tight that her inner arms were severely abused by the straps...they weren't just bruises, no! That was history, hey.
And the play of colors when healing was quite spaced out.
Looking back, we have a theory that they neither have a license to offer parasailing nor have they ever taken any training for it.
That would explain so much.
We really don't believe that this is happening legally.
But you're always smarter afterwards (hehe, just kidding)

So...and from here on it gets difficult to stick to the chronology.
I have no idea what happened after that.
Sure, in principle I can write whatever I want. Only 3 people in this world know the real order... ;)

Be sure, there has been this Korean alcopop once or twice.
A lot of Vietnamese food.
And more alcohol.
One evening we turned the pool into a dance floor.
Crouching on Tatti's shoulders, we stood in the water completely drunk and bawled out Justin Bieber songs.
We were even secretly filmed by other resort guests.
I have no idea if this show is circulating anywhere on TikTok now. All I remember is that it was a really fun evening.
(And sure, we can have fun without alcohol, but better safe than sorry!! )😜
And despite all the escalating nights and little sleep, we still managed to make the most of the day.
In between we went on excursions.
And finally I had the pleasure of zooming around the island on a scooter.
You know my passion for 2-wheelers and of course no trip can end without me renting a local vehicle at least once.
Anna as my pillion passenger, Tatti on his own vehicle and off we went on the wild ride.
We saw so much that day.
Above all, poverty.
It's such a standard sentence and always sounds like a cliché when you say 'Man, we actually have it so good'
But that's just how it is.
I have no idea what people do for a living here, but especially on Phu Quoc the people were incredibly nice, courteous and sweet.
They were always smiling and wanted to do something good for you.
I would have loved to put all the people in my pocket and take them with me.
If someone had asked me 3 weeks ago in which country I met the most polite people and in which I met the rudest people, I would have said that the Thais would be in first place and the Vietnamese would be in last place.
If someone asked me now, Thailand would still get first place, but closely followed by the people here.
It's so different than 2017 .
I actually never wanted to travel to this country again.
And found the mentality here really terrible.
That has changed.
But it could also be that it was an island thing.
We haven't been there for a few days and maybe things will be different here again. Maybe the local people here are terrible, but patience, patience. I won't prejudge anything. ;)
(Remember the correct order.)

There's one more thing I have to or want to mention and then I hope I can't think of anything else because I just don't want to anymore!
As much as I celebrate writing, it is extremely time consuming.
It puts pressure on me knowing that I'm so behind and that I'll be 'missing' 7 hours of a day for a single entry, because instead of having adventures, I'll just sit in one place and try not to distract myself so that I can finally make progress.
And everyone knows how difficult this is for me.

So we come to the (hopefully) final anecdote:

When we were at home researching what Phu Quoc had to offer, we saw funny pictures of colorful houses online.
Various YouTube videos finally made me even more curious.
So we had a taxi take us there in one day.
Our destination is called GRAND WORLD and was about 45 minutes away from us. We were so excited.

I don't know what I expected, but definitely not this!!
The Grand World is one of the craziest and strangest things I've seen in my life.
It was just like being on a planet of its own.
A parallel universe.
We had just driven past corrugated iron huts without electricity and just a minute later we were in the middle of Venice.

Including water and gondolas.

You have to imagine that hundreds of houses, buildings and streets were artificially built in imitation of European style.
The colors are a bit exaggerated.
But if you ask me, this madness just has to be seen to be believed.
Asians just have a really likeable quirk somehow.
It is its own city within the city.
Several dozen hotels are included.
Hundreds of shops, spas, agencies, banks, scooter rentals etc.
There is nothing that doesn't exist there.
Basically, you wouldn't have to leave this place anymore, you'll find everything you need.
The 'city' is simply huge.
But:
There just weren't any people there.
Everything was empty.
Yes, a few tourists here and there.
But still it was a deserted place.
Everything seems dead.
A ghost town.
Yes, there were salespeople in many of the shops, but whether they had anything to do without tourists was questionable.
We have seen that even more is to be built.
You can see the construction sites for this for several kilometers at a time.
And you ask yourself where the heck all the people who are supposed to stay there are supposed to come from.
They even put a Ferris wheel there.
Somehow the Grand World was a wild mix of Disneyland and Las Vegas. A huge amusement park.
Everything about this place was so absurd.
Everything about this place seemed so wrong.
Everything about this place is still so fascinating.
Just like the whole island.
It is opposite... rich in contrast... diverse... colorful... but it is also so original in many places.

And has super beautiful and long sandy beaches.
Sometimes it felt like tourists had never landed there before.
You are looked at like a rare insect.
Children waved and were happy as if we were stars.
There are magnificent villas right next to sparse housing.
Two worlds collide here.

It's super interesting and completely different than what I imagined.

I'll definitely be back in Phu Quoc one day and I'm excited to see what kind of countries and cities will be added to the Grand World.

And with that I'll close the first blog entry and thank you, as always, for any kind of attention.

Over&Out

PS: Anna, you are really missed!

PPS: More!!