Oñemoherakuãva: 10.02.2024
After we spent a few really nice days in La Paz and Lissi has overcome her fear of gondolas, we take the night bus towards Uyuni.
We finally arrive around 6 a.m. The night wasn't quite as pleasant as we had imagined. Lissi hardly slept a wink, Scholle didn't know how to lie and Asma wasn't really any better either.
We will be taken to a restaurant where we can have breakfast. After briefly changing our underwear and brushing our teeth, we sit down at the table - still disgusting - and order coffee and cheese sandwiches.
Shortly afterwards we meet Funghi (unfortunately we have no idea how to spell her name) - a 57-year-old lively woman who greets us warmly and is very happy that we are going on the tour to the Salar de Uyuni aka Salad Tour together. At first glance, Funghi is a warm personality, but after an hour we realize that there is a fury behind the nice facade. 😬
We take a Cheep to the train cemetery, which makes a spectacular photo stop. And that's exactly what it's used for - to be photographed in a variety of poses on the abandoned and rusted trains. Click click click - our nightmare begins.
We still have no idea what awaits us. We think nothing of taking a few photos with Funghi and are even happy to have someone to take photos of the three of us. At the next stop we get a 3 minute tour of the Salt Museum. Our driver says we have 30 minutes to walk around. After 35 minutes our driver hasn't shown up yet. Funghi gets impatient. She walks excitedly through the street and asks other drivers about our guide. She complains loudly about what an impudence it is to make us wait here. Her food is in the car and she's hungry. When the driver shows up 10 minutes late, he gets a lot of shit. We curl up in the car, ashamed - how can you freak out like that?
Once we arrive in the salt desert, we realize the full extent of today's trip. This is not a leisurely coffee trip, this is a classic tourist tour at its best - get out, take 17363 photos, get in, drive on and do the whole thing again. I don't want it to sound like we didn't enjoy the day at all. In addition to the many lows, there were also some very nice highs! But first came the lows. And what they looked like was that we were supposed to take turns taking photos and videos of Funghi prancing across the desert with her scarf or sitting on one of us's shoulders or hands - the idea was to create the illusion of that. Running away didn't help - she kept catching up with us. The driver wasn't spared either and had to take a few snapshots of Funghi. We wonder, what is Funghi all about on this trip?! To enjoy the moment or to take the best photo?
For lunch there are vegetables and an omelet with ketchup and mayo. This is where our second nightmare begins, which we also have no idea about - more on that later.
After dinner we continue to the salt sculptures. We decide not to take any more photos. Our nerves are already frayed. When Funghi asks if she should take a photo of us, we vehemently resist.
We continue to the part of the salt flat that is covered with a thin layer of water. This creates a mirror effect. Instead of taking nice photos - to Funghi's great regret - we jump through the water like young reindeer - ok, not quite so graceful - and enjoy being children again. We dance into the sunset and enjoy the breathtaking view. Our driver even prepared red wine and snacks. We toast and realize that the day has turned out well after all :)
After sunset we drive to the accommodation where we will spend the night.
In our group there are also two French women, 19 and 20, who are doing their semester abroad in Chile and are currently on summer vacation. The two French women speak Spanish very well and translated some of it for us. We find out that our driver is leaving us today - even though we have booked a 3 day tour. We suspect that Funghi may have been the trigger for this decision - otherwise he could have told us right at the beginning or not?!
A new driver is supposed to come the next morning between 9:30 and 9:00. Our new guide picks us up around 9:30 a.m. - we thought the agency hadn't found a replacement driver for us 🤭 We drive through the desert for a very long time until we arrive at the black lagoon. Scholle tries to find a connection with the local llama gang - despite wearing a llama friends shirt, this attempt fails. The plaice returns broken to its fellows.
Afterwards there is lunch. Vegetables and pasta with ketchup and mayo are served again. The same mayo as from the day before, which was transported unrefrigerated in the car. This will be Plaice and Lissi's downfall - Plaice will suffer stomach pains for the rest of the day and Lissi will have digestive problems 😑🥲. Does that come from the mayo? Luckily Asma doesn't like mayo.
Funghi wants photos - the pain-stricken Scholle becomes her victim and is constantly harassed to send the photos that Scholle took with her cell phone. We can't do it anymore. She also throws her garbage EVERYWHERE into nature and doesn't understand why we open a barrel about it. There really is one person in this world who can piss all three of us off. Doesn't matter! Again, just a test of your own inner composure. 🧘♀️
We spend the night in the desert. The sky is clear and we see the most beautiful starry sky. But it's also extremely cold and Lissi has to crawl under Asma's blanket and cuddle to avoid freezing to death.
Day 3, 5 a.m. - off to the geysers! It's freezing cold, but we can warm ourselves by jumping through the geysers. The tour guide spontaneously wanted to take a photo of us as we and the French women stood around the geyser and warmed our hands on it. Funghi, who is already sitting in the jeep, sees that the guide wants to take a group photo of us. She sprints out of the jeep as quickly as she can, hands her cell phone to the guide and puts herself in the picture. He, totally overwhelmed with two cell phones, takes the souvenir photo... Lissi is covered by Funghi😅
Finally we relax in the Aqua Thermales. Luckily you can't take photos while swimming 🤗 We chill for a moment in the Salvador Dali desert and Asma builds a tower out of stones. Then we separate from our travel group as our guide drops us off at the Chilean border. Scholle and Lissi are forced by Funghi to take a final selfie with her, Asma simply refuses.