Argitaratu: 26.02.2018
Many people have asked me the question 'WHY?' - my answer: Why not? Why not just turn off the phone, don't turn on the TV, stay away from social media, and above all, not say anything for a whole weekend?
It all started on Friday, 02/23/2018.
Departure at 3:00 PM. First, to Mechernich, more specifically to Wachendorf in the Eifel. To a field chapel. A farmer had it erected as a thanks for his beautiful life on his field. I saw it on WDR television. I found it interesting - I wanted to see it. Of course, the navigation system only took me to the edge of the village, so I had to continue my search on my own. It can't be that hard to find. Found it after 5 minutes, parked the car, and marveled. A tower - in the middle of a field. A bit of grass planted around it, a path formed, a few trees planted. Nice!
The entrance is a big, heavy iron gate. A triangle. Hardly recognizable above it, a cross. Inside, it's dark. Light only comes through the small balls in the facade - and through a hole in the roof. I guess that's intended. Surprisingly, many candles are burning, I didn't expect that. I immediately lit one for my loved ones in heaven (and, of course, paid for it too!). If it weren't so cold, I would stay longer. But the chapel also closes in 15 minutes (does the farmer who owns the chapel come here every day and lock it?).
At around 4:30 PM, I arrive at Kloster Steinfeld. Man... where's the entrance? 3 gates - and which one is the right one?? First, I park in the village square and then search for the guesthouse of the monastery. Sister I-don't-remember-the-name greets me and hands me the key with the number 16 (why do the key chains always look like a penis - and that in a monastery...) She explains to me on a map where I have to go. I don't understand a word. Well, I'll find my way. But why didn't she just say that I only have to go to the neighboring building? That would have been easier... Anyway, I found the room.
My room consists of 2 beds (fortunately, the one with the good mattress is also made), a wardrobe, a table, a chair, and a sink. Oh yes, I chose the monastery-style accommodation. If you're going to a monastery, you have to do it properly. Just for your information: there's also a new guesthouse. 4 stars - with, as I later found out, a TV, a refrigerator, wine, etc. But hey, I have a tea kitchen and a communal bathroom in the hallway. It has its charm. And it's not much different from the office :-)
6:00 PM, meeting in the dining room. It took me a while to find it... It's pretty big here. Eventually, I found our tables. I stand at a table and... am completely ignored. Mmmmph. After 2 times saying 'excuse me' (typical German), I'm finally noticed and allowed to join. We chat for a bit, then theologian and seminar leader Ralf Braun stands up and opens 'the buffet'. The participant to my right disinfects her hands first. She will do that before every meal from now on. A compulsion? Who knows...
After dinner, I put on my harem pants, the thick sweater, and slip into the pink slippers crocheted by Sandra herself, armed with a yoga mat and a blanket, and walk to the attic. A circle of chairs - okay... feels like a support group. At first, everyone just introduces themselves with their name and describes their mood with the weather. My description was 'fair to cloudy'. For others, it was sunny or sometimes foggy and cloudy. For Ralf, the seminar leader, 'humid'. Well then... After that, we start the first meditation. Lying down. It's going pretty well, I think. At least I'm not falling asleep... Then, a big round of introductions with names, hometowns, and 'Why am I here?' Well, I'm here, mainly to have some peace and quiet after carnival and to do a bit of 'media fasting'. Let's see... After that, we are released to silence. Here we go. I'm excited. But first, shower and off to bed. By the way... There's no cell phone reception behind monastery walls. How convenient ;-)
Saturday, 02/24/2018
The alarm clock rings at 6:45 AM. 7:30 AM - yoga time. Before breakfast... This should be interesting.... You enter the room without greeting. We're in silence, after all. It's kind of strange. We do yoga exercises for 30 minutes and then go to breakfast. In silence. It's weird not to have conversations at the table. And I already miss the polite phrases like 'Good morning, hello, please, thank you'. In the beginning, it seems like everyone is a bit confused. It should also be noted that we are the only ones in silence. All the other visitors to the monastery are attending other seminars or just on vacation. There's even a communication course. And a group of children preparing for First Communion. Many of us are bothered by the noise level in the dining room, as they later report. I can ignore it quite well. It's even more amusing to see the kids carrying soup and sausages past us to their places. If I had been chatting with my classmates, I wouldn't have noticed. In general, you perceive your surroundings and the food in a completely different way. A beautiful experience.
9:00 AM. Time for the first meditation of the day. Sitting. My back doesn't like it. After all, just last Thursday, I was treated like a tournament horse (Thanks Olli for the expression :-)), got taped, and equipped with 12 acupuncture needles. I have to change positions constantly. It's annoying in a room that is completely quiet. I'm already wondering if meditation is for me. Well, maybe it will be. At least I can't fall asleep in this uncomfortable position. That's something. But there are always freaks... even in meditation. Some people bring stools, 23 different meditation cushions, stools, etc. Does that make it more comfortable? Ralf's meditation cushion didn't help me at all.
9:30 AM - 11:30 AM, free time. I go for a walk. With my camera. But I don't get to take any pictures because, of course, I walk exactly where everything is icy and constantly have to be careful not to slip. Okay, then back to the monastery. To the basilica. Listen to the organ, take pictures, and... get annoyed by the old ladies who talk non-stop... and I'm silent. And it still feels good. It hasn't been that long yet.
11:30 AM - meditation time. Well... sometimes I was on the right track, I think.
12:30 PM - lunchtime. There's no diet here. Roast pork, mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables with hollandaise sauce, soup as a starter, pudding for dessert. It's going well. After that, coffee and a walk.
3:00 PM - what else? ***Drumroll*** Meditation. 1.5 hours... Yeah... My back is complaining. And I'm silent.
5:15 PM - I skip the meditation and prefer to read something. No one can ask me where I've been :-)
6:00 PM - dinner. The silence at the table has become pleasant and 'normal' by now. But the guests next to us seem to be a bit irritated that there are 3 tables where no one is talking.
I take the last piece of apricot strips with me to my room and make myself an instant coffee in the tea kitchen. Delicious!
7:30 PM - the last meditation for today. Followed by a group discussion. If you want to say something, that is. It's interesting that I'm not alone in thinking about whether meditation is for me. But the silence thing is going great - even for the others. Except for the guilty feeling when you encounter strangers that you automatically greet. They don't know that I'm silent. So I can do that. Still, it's strange when you don't speak otherwise. I go to bed at 10:00 PM.
Sunday, 02/25/2018
The alarm clock rings at 6:50 AM. 7:15 AM - yoga. It's quite good to stretch my tired bones. I didn't sleep well, by the way. Maybe my body is just not active enough with all the meditation? Possible.
7:45 AM - breakfast. As I said, no diet this weekend.
8:30 AM... Meditation. From now on, only lying down and with a hot water bottle for me. Still, I can't relax. I think about a lot of things (nothing major), just not about how my breath flows through my nose and into my lungs. I can't even breathe through my heart. And I can't stand to hear the traditional wishes like 'May I be healthy, may I be free from suffering, may I be happy, etc.' anymore. I stare into space. The others seem to be fully absorbed in meditation. At least it seems that way.
10:00 AM - church service in the basilica. Yes, I was there and shocked at how off-key people can sing and that someone's phone beeped behind me twice. The lighting is beautiful - but taking pictures in the middle of the church service probably won't go over well. I'll probably come back later. After the church service, we had the opportunity for individual conversations with Ralf. No, I don't want to talk. What about?
12:30 PM - lunchtime. I just have to say 'baked apple with vanilla sauce'... Gaby has to take a lactose pill right away. Poor thing.
Since 11:00 AM, we had to vacate the rooms. Since then, we've been more or less homeless. So, we have to kill time until 3:00 PM. The lighting in the basilica is not as nice now, of course. So let's go for another walk. I now know every stone in Steinfeld. A village with 800 inhabitants, as soon as you leave the village, all the paths except for the main road are icy. So I enjoy the sun on the bench in the village square. 2 guys - probably around 40 - crack open a can of beer in the monastery garden. Must they? And then they promptly sit down on the bench behind me, play loud music, and burp. It's disgusting!
3:00 PM - the last meditation for this weekend. I'm staring into the ceiling again (I'm lying down, unlike the others) and waiting for it to end.
4:00 PM - sharing experiences and thus - the end of silence. Too bad! I could have kept silent for much longer. But first, coffee and cake ;-)
5:00 PM - the journey home. To be honest, I really don't want to turn on my phone. But I can't find my way home without navigation. Me and orientation... The result: 137 WhatsApp messages, 32 emails. And I could have sworn that at least 1 person was checking by sending me a WhatsApp message to see when the second checkmark appears. And what can I say? Sandra, you can always be relied on :-* But as you can see, I can do without it too :-)
My conclusion:
Silence
Great thing! It's not hard for me at all. I would have liked to continue. Unfortunately, it's not something that can be incorporated into everyday life. So I definitely have to do it again. And I definitely will! But one thing I can promise: I will continue to have conversations with myself :-)
Meditation
As you could probably tell - it's not for me. I didn't find fulfillment in it. Those who enjoy it and immerse themselves in it are welcome to do it. But the weekend was good for that too. I know that I won't do THAT again.
Detox from phones & co.
I'm still alive (and even doing very well) and I realized how much time these modern media consume. Hey, I even wrote an 8-page diary in 3 days. Maybe I had to make this experience to realize that it can also be done without. Sounds strange, but it's true ;-)