2018 - a year just for me

"Courage is the key to happiness." - a colleague

"Courage doesn't mean not being afraid, but overcoming fear." - Carina Herrmann

The three months between handing in my resignation and my last day of work felt like an eternity. And now the day is actually here. In a few days, I will be flying to Pamplona to start my first personal Camino de Santiago.

My tiny backpack is almost fully packed. I thought I already lived with relatively few things - or somewhat 'minimalistic' as they say nowadays. I never had too much clutter, decoration, or unnecessary stuff, always just enough to reflect a girly romantic but clean style. So I thought it wouldn't be difficult for me to give up things that are not absolutely necessary, but this 20-liter thing is definitely a challenge!

Nevertheless, I'm trying to manage with it, so as not to burden my journey with too much baggage.

Hopefully, the shoes are well broken-in and in the next few days, I will say goodbye to the last dear people for the time being.

The last weeks at work were particularly nerve-wracking, and almost every day I was reminded that my decision was definitely the right one. After some really nice farewell conversations with colleagues, the moment finally came when I was able to pack my few things and say "goodbye" to the last 12 years and 8 months. Although I was surprisingly calm the whole time, it became a bit strange at that moment. However, I have not truly realized yet that I will not be returning to the office the next day or the following week. Some have given me a great deal of courage and motivation in the last hours and confirmed that I am doing the right thing. I am very grateful for that!

Handing over my beautiful little apartment just when the summer is starting in mid-April in Germany and there is an opportunity to enjoy one's newly gained free time in the garden in the spring sun is not always easy for me either. But I am glad and relaxed and grateful that I can still enjoy these moments intensively and - as strange as it may sound - also say goodbye to my (current) favorite place.

Many things have been mechanical in the last few weeks. Giving up the apartment, finishing the job, dealing with the bank, authorities, doctors, and organizing everything necessary for the trip. Nothing was difficult for me, nothing really stood in my way.

I am absolutely sure that it will be good. It still just feels right. I am still waiting for panic attacks and existential fears, but maybe they only come when you are actually in the corresponding situation...

It is now simply my path, and my gut feeling tells me that it is the right direction.

And so I now let my Camino de Santiago and everything it brings in the next few weeks and months simply come my way :-)