Time to think

June 21, 2017

Right now, as I jot down the date, it occurs to me that today is the summer solstice. That means the sun must have been directly overhead at noon, without casting any shadows. Well, well, and I just realized it now. It would have made for a beautiful photo. At least I randomly took a photo outside around noon, where you can still see the shadow pretty clearly under the children.

In general, I didn't take many photos today. Just in the morning, on the way to the foundation, I took a couple of landscape pictures, and at school, because three children insisted on taking a photo. The picture is displayed as an eye-catcher, but it has nothing to do with what is written here.

Before I left for Ecuador, I was aware that the activities here would not completely fill my time. At least not always. The time in the Selva was indeed, in this regard, a time of silence, reflection, dreaming, and boredom. Before that, during language school, it was less the case. School, learning, going out with my fellow students, weekend trips, all of that kept me more busy. In addition, there was complete Internet connectivity there. Just like now. The main reason why I have time to think is a different circumstance. I have very little responsibility. Not at school, except that I follow through on my promised volunteer work here and write a report afterwards. Not at home, what can I really do from afar? Andrea (and hopefully the roommates) have to take care of all the household chores and office work. I feel like Niklaus von der Flue who leaves his wife and children behind in order to retreat in silence (well, it's not that quiet after all, as you can see from a report two days ago!) and be alone with himself. I have taken a break from my side job as a technical employee for the St. Gallen hiking trails for this year. I am not conducting workshops for Büchler Verlag during this time. I am simply gone and not reachable.

As I said, I was aware of this and I was very excited to have time to think. I remember the first time as a teacher. Back then, I took things much more lightly, played handball on the side, coached, worked on the board, was involved in other activities, and often stayed up late at night... never mind. Not everything needs to be discussed in detail. Anyway, back then I had a lot more visions than I do now. Professionally, there were more things that could be done, like changing the teaching methods or organizing an excursion. For example, there was a summer camp on the Eichenwieser Schwamm during the holidays. Despite all the other stress, which I didn't consider stress but rather enrichment and balance. Madness!
Now it's different. I am busy, sometimes really exhausted, even though I seem to have much less on my plate. I know that I need much more time and I take it. From this perspective and with this awareness, this educational leave or, sorry, I mean intensive further education, is the same thing with stricter guidelines. So, I have a lot of time to think. And you know what? It works. I haven't dreamt this much in a long time, especially in the Selva.
Today, Susanne Büchler wrote to me about the challenges of asserting oneself in the competitive instructional materials market. Then I looked at Aline's schedule. Next school year, she will be teaching in Eichenwies and Montlingen. I texted Andrea and Vivi as well.
I can absorb and contemplate all these impulses. One or two ideas will crystallize, one or two thoughts will be initiated. The big "aha" moment, however, was when the thought suddenly occurred to me today that as a class teacher, I could try completely individualizing a subject like math. It should be possible. With clearly defined goals or a set of objectives anchored in the instructional materials, and good communication within the team and with the parents. The thoughts kept going and I won't go into detail here, it doesn't make sense, because I need to explore them further myself. But the fact that I am thinking about it is only possible because I have the freedom to do so. If I am always restricted in my activities, have to meet presence requirements, and have to participate in forced team events, I have to develop lesson plans around keywords of the Lehrplan21 even though they have already been published by instructional material publishers... you can see, at the end of each sentence, there is "must". But an "E" should be added to make it "mussie". "Mussie haben" means to have time for oneself and one's thoughts.
When I have time, I can think freely. When I have time, ideas develop, I become creative, and I feel like trying something new. If I have a good environment, I present my idea, seek advice, support, and other input. Why on earth do idea factories like Google invest in such pleasant work environments?
Honestly, I am damn glad about this break. I see new things, I see things from a distance again, I recognize my hamster wheel, I have time, I am simply here or there and just thinking. I also recognize what is valuable and important to me in my home, my work, and my circle of friends and acquaintances. I will return home differently than when I left - of course, this could be interpreted in two ways.

But don't worry, the "different" can be described as positive, content, and strong. I am convinced of that.
I may not have learned as much Spanish as I thought. But I have experienced many different things with pleasant and unpleasant emotions. That goes much deeper than repeating a word ten times.