Transformation Jim Bob

February 21, 2018 When we decided to buy a car, it was clear to us from the very beginning that it should not only be a means of transportation, but also a vehicle that would have enough space for the two of us to sleep. The purchase of our Ram quickly proved to be the right decision, as we now had a 2.40x1.60m loading area. Enough space for a bed and our suitcases. With the right construction, without the annoying hassle of moving our suitcases back and forth. Since the wheel arches limited the loading area to 1.20m at one point and we also wanted to store our luggage somewhere sensible, it was already clear at the beginning of the planning phase that the bed frame had to be built over the wheel arches. The only question was how to do it in the easiest and cheapest way.

So we went to a hardware store, looked around and gathered ideas. One idea was to build the bed out of pallets, as they were available for free here. Cheap, but somehow impractical. On the one hand, pallets take up about 20cm of valuable space due to their height, which significantly reduces the space between the ceiling and the bed. On the other hand, the parts are not particularly light, and we wanted to install at least one of the pallets in such a way that it could be lifted up to access the things underneath more easily. Not such a good idea. After a long period of consideration, we decided on what we thought was the simplest option: cutting (or having cut) square timbers to size and screwing everything together somehow to create a bed frame.

Said and done. We chose February 21st. A day that, according to the weather forecast, should be characterized by sunshine (no snow/rain) and pleasant temperatures. Should be! We went to Home Depot and spent about an hour finding the right square timbers and an (affordable) insulation for the loading area. Once that was done, we had all the square timbers cut to the exact centimeter. We realized a few hours later that the Canadians had some trouble with the metric system (after all, our measurements were in centimeters). After everything was cut, all materials purchased, and a cordless drill borrowed, we went outside. What was that? White, flake-like formations of frozen water were falling at an acute angle to the ground. Snow? Didn't the weather service announce sunshine for today and rain for the following days? After calling or complaining a few nice German swear words towards the Canadian sky, ground, tree, and all other available objects, we started. I expertly screwed the insulation, consisting of squeaky cardboard and aluminum foil, with a pressed wood panel of identical dimensions. After that, in the snowstorm, I set about attaching the three longitudinal slats, each with three feet. When these were finally put together with the help of my charming assistant and had taken their intended place on the loading area, only the cross slats had to be attached. Since I couldn't feel my fingers anymore and I hadn't done particularly well in gymnastics classes in the past, I handed over the task to Bella, who was now allowed to do it. This time, I assisted her. After it was finally finished and neither of us could feel our hands, feet, or nose anymore, we saw the exact measuring and cutting of our longitudinal slats. Or rather the exact opposite. All three had different lengths. Didn't we ask for all of them to be cut to 2.03m? Well, one of the slats definitely had that length. But one was slightly shorter and one was slightly longer. Why was that a problem? Well, because we wanted to close the bed with a folding door, which would prevent the suitcases from rolling around during the journey and also serve as a backrest for sitting and staring at natural wonders, sunsets, or annoying tourists. We left it in its slanted state and quickly put together the necessary door. We had miscalculated a bit with this one. So, once again to the hardware store (which wasn't far away) and another 10cm off. Then it fit. Quickly screw it onto the bed frame and return the cordless drill. After three hours in the snowstorm (about 10cm of fresh snow) and with cold bones, we were glad that it was over and went for an apartment viewing.

The next day, the sun unexpectedly shone. We went to Home Depot again, borrowed a cordless drill, and partially dismantled the bed again. It can't be that it closes so crookedly. What will people think? If you're Monk (aka Patrick B.), something like this needs to be quickly fixed. No other way. We put the bed back together again (the left longitudinal slat was still too long and naturally protrudes) and attached the folding door (this time more or less at a right angle and straight, in a Monk-compliant manner). Proud as can be. Finally done. So it's time to hit the slopes. But wait. First, let's make some money...