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Toilets in Japan - Total for the ass

Eldonita: 06.04.2023

Shit ahoy!

Some asked, so here is the full assitude. Yes, I'm pointing at you, Frau Doktor. 😝


When I was in Miami, Matze and I realized:

'You can only claim to have visited a country after you've dropped one there.'

This applies even more to Japan than to other countries.
My first experience in Japan was with the famous space toilets.

My first thought after sitting down: 'Wow! Warm!' But not that unpleasant 'Someone twice as heavy as me must have warmed the seat before me.' thought. A pleasant feeling that helps you relax.
Some models allow you to adjust the temperature.
In general, there are many options here.

The buttons I used are:

  • Stop, to stop the bidet
  • Bidet
  • Heater
  • Dryer
  • Noises

Each model is different, and not every place has the space toilets. But mostly.

I must admit, once you go bidet, paper is not okay. It's so much gentler on the ass. Adjust the jet pressure if necessary, and then let the water jet do the rest. You perform a gentle hip swing and dry yourself off at the end. Either with the dryer (very rare model) or with toilet paper.
If I had my own house, such a feature would be a must.

I didn't use the 'front bidet'; there's a reason why a woman is depicted on the button. 😅 It must be good, otherwise it wouldn't have caught on.

Oh yeah, if you're embarrassed by your noises, you can play sounds from a recording.

Oh yeah, I also came across a model two more times, which I had always been so impressed with. A washbasin built into the flush tank. You flush the toilet, the water automatically comes out of the faucet and flows into the flush tank. Fucking genius!

The Paper

There's only one thing I wish for from Germany. Decent toilet paper. Who the hell thought that single-ply was a good idea? It can only work if you have a bidet installed. It works, but it's still annoying.
On the other hand, Japanese 'tissues' just can't work. I think multiple layers are generally not a thing here, because the tissues here are also single-ply. I had no problem, I belong to those who can make a single pack last for 3+ months. Luckily, they don't have an expiration date.
I think this can only work here because people only sneeze into their masks anyway. 😷🤮


Mannequin Piss

An interesting thing: disabled people are also involved at the urinals. There is a metal frame around the urinal that a man can hold on to.

I must admit, when I used it and leaned forward with my backpack on my back, my thoughts were different. 'Ah, how relaxing. Finally leaning against something. Ideal for drunks. They don't even have to use their head.'
I still advocate this alternative use. 😁


Fire in the hole

Yup, there are not only 'Western Style' toilets, there are also medieval versions. Holes in the floor. I couldn't help but try it out. The first time I had no idea how to use it in terms of alignment.

Do I look forward? Do I look back? Does it depend on the size of the business? It was not a repeatable experience.
Yes, I know. I always praise my poop stool, and science and I still stand behind it. And that's why the hole in the floor is a completely natural principle, most conducive to health. But why do I still reject it?
Because I wear pants! It was difficult enough with shorts not to dirty them in different colors. A skirt, kilt, robe, thobe, or even nothing would probably make it a lot easier.

The clown with a sea urchin up his ass

Meta Service

Doing business in Japan is often a pleasant experience. But the service around it is also worth telling a story.
There are toilets in many places. The best toilets are located in the train stations, but behind the ticket gates. The numerous temple grounds also offer a toilet. But even those in the great outdoors have an okayish quality, compared to the others.

All toilets are free. No Sanifair, no toilet attendant, nothing. Excretion is part of life, at all levels.

Usually, you look for a sign with two colors, magenta and blue. Some facilities play with the symbols, giving them a more personal touch.

I like this style and also the thing with the colors. Everything becomes blurred in our pictogram mess, here it is communicated clearly. I suspect that in our country, some self-proclaimed social justice warrior would shit themselves with anger over the colors. 🥴

What blew me away at a train station was the occupancy display. I could immediately see what the situation was. Simply ingenious!

I'll make you wet!

I suspect the following fact is the most schizophrenic thing I have come across here so far. There are sinks. There are built-in soap dispensers. There are also hand dryers. But very few men here use them all. In half of the cases, I could wash my hands but not dry them.
In contrast, 99% of the population here walks around, supposedly concerned about safety, wearing masks, all day long. But more on that in another post.

One thing I still haven't figured out after two weeks. There are here soap dispensers that require manual operation. Made of hard plastic. No turning, pressing, pulling has ever dispensed soap. Maybe I have to bow twice like in the temples and clap my hands? I don't know. Since basically no one here washes their hands with soap, I will probably never find out. 😅

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