Indian oath - a promise to myself

That I did not embark on this journey just for the sake of traveling has already been mentioned elsewhere. So I want to consciously pause, listen within myself, feel where feeling is appropriate, and think where thinking is necessary. I want to practice a compassionate and loving relationship with myself, in order to be able to be sincerely and wholeheartedly present for other people.

Still on Koh Samui (I am now on Koh Phangan), I made the following promise in my wonderful companion, my journal:

'I promise myself now, in this moment - for eternity - to always at least try to listen to the voice of my heart, to have the courage to allow my heart to guide me. I want to view life from the perspective of abundance, not from the perspective of lack. My life is full of beautiful things, I just have to open myself to them.'

It may sound very dramatic, and you know what... It is! Because it is a huge promise. For a long time, I had the wish, silently transformed it into a promise in my thoughts, writing it down and keeping it scared me, and the actual moment was very powerful and emotional.

From my point of view, it takes a lot of courage and trust in the flow of life to even pay attention to one's heart. One must be willing to perceive one's heart's desires instead of the internalized expectations of the environment. The heart can wish for surprising things, suggest things that are scary because one has to step out of their comfort zone to make them happen.

In the end, it is about love, about loving and being loved, loving the things one does, the people surrounding them, every single living being (maybe even mosquitoes one day), Mother Earth, oneself. It is about feeling lovingly connected to all these things and thus being in harmony with oneself and life - and everything that comes with it. How wonderful would it be to achieve this state...

One intentional step I try to take is the transition from thinking in terms of lack to thinking in terms of abundance. How much I have pitied myself, felt unfairly treated, repeatedly fell into complaining because this does not fit and that is not enough. It poisons thoughts, the heart, the soul, the environment - it drains so much energy. Why? Maybe because it is easier to see oneself as a victim, then others are to blame for one's own misfortune. It is incredibly uplifting to realize that one can change things themselves. One can take the reins for their own life and enjoy all the things that come their way. Here on my journey, in the numerous wonderful places, this is not difficult for me. It gets interesting back in everyday life, but even there, life holds so much beauty, it is simply a matter of perspective.