The inexplicable immense profound all-consuming utmost tremendous monumental pain of saying goodbye to my professor

When my lecturer said goodbye to us on Tuesday and I realized that it was the last class, I almost started to cry. It was about comparing different peace processes around the world, but it wasn't the topic that I found so great. The topic was actually not my favorite. But she was so great and I hate saying goodbye when I've grown fond of something. This actually happens to me often in contexts like university, which makes it very difficult for me to say goodbye to something. At university you constantly have to say goodbye and I immediately ask myself whether I will ever see this person again who had a certain influence on my life. From experience I can say, mostly not. But sometimes yes. I think what I ultimately want is for these people to know that they influenced me in a positive way and that I grew to love them in some way. Of course, I can't stay in touch with my lecturer and I certainly won't tell her that I love her. Can you imagine? (Dear Ms. Sánchez, hdgdl:*. Can you give me your private cell phone number so that I can write to you every 3 months telling you how much I miss you?) Some people are just in your life for a limited time. After all, not everyone can stay forever. But I wish she knew how much I admire her. It's not just lecturers, but also friends, courses, topics, cities, rooms, places, shared apartments, political or social groups that you have to say goodbye to. Yes, everyone has to say goodbye. Farewell is constant and everywhere. But lately it's been a little too present for my taste. I mean, there are people who have lived in the same city for 30 years and everything doesn't change there every few months. For me it is and that's what I chose. I didn't want to stay in my hometown and I wanted to do a year abroad and now I'm thinking about which farewell would be harder in the long term, the one from Germany or the one from Colombia. What I was getting at is that this lot of saying goodbye is a natural side effect of this lifestyle. This constant moving and year abroad anyway. My best friends from here, the people I spend the most time with here, are leaving Colombia in a month. I wonder if these goodbyes are as incredibly difficult for everyone as they are for me. Yes, we've only known each other for 3 months, but I think I take people into my heart very quickly when I feel safe with them and I don't feel that with a lot of people. Every single one of these farewells, even the one from my lecturer, really hurts me. Saying goodbye to Germany hurt, but it was temporary. The goodbyes here are forever. At least that's how they feel. Maybe I shouldn't even think in these categories, forever or for a short time or for a long time. It would be so much easier if I could accept that not all people or every good time can be there forever, but I don't want to accept that. When something makes me happy, I lock it deep in my little heart chambers and when it's gone, there's a hole. I think everyone does that. Saying goodbye to something beautiful always hurts, right? The only difference is that I'll be thinking about it every second for 3-7 weeks because God probably gave me ADHD and definitely hyperfocus. But at least I can tell my friends how much I love them and how much I will miss them. And I actually believe that this goodbye is not forever and that at least 2 of these wonderful creatures will be in my life in some way. I have to pull a little all-nighter now because I had too much fun at the weekend and didn't learn anything about the peace process in Guatemala. Ferrero kisses to all of you <3 (Ferrero please boycott tho)